We believe the Blokes Book project is a positive step in supporting families and communities through Men's well being. That's why we created the Blokes Book for Hawke’s Bay with our first edition back in 2020. Since then we have circulated close to 20,000 free copies across our region, into our community through workplaces, sport clubs and libraries.
THE BLOKES BOOK
WWW.BBHB.NZ
HAWKE’S BAY
IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING, TAKE CHARGE !
INFORMATION AND TIPS: ON LIVING A HEALTHY LIFE
THE GOAL HEALTHY HAWKE’S BAY MEN
Kia Ora 2 Why Bother - Bro? 3-4 Headspace 7-8 A Place To Call Home 9 What About The Booze 11-12 Change, Loss & Grief 13 Helping Out a Mate 14 Suicide, Grief & Support 15 Be Good To Your Heart 17 Below The Belt 18 WOF For Your Body 20 Be Part Of Something Bigger 21
Young At Heart 23-24 Feeling Angry? 25-26 Men Can Be Victims Too
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Family Man 29-30 Safety On The Road 33 Work / Life Balance 34 Legal Talk 35 Employment & Workplace 36 Feeling Anxious or Stressed 37-38 M ā ori Health 39 Pasifika Health 40 Migrants To Hawkes Bay 41-42 Youth 45 Living With a Disability 47 Rural Support 48 Support Directory 49-51
IT’S NEVER TO LATE AND YOU ARE NEVER TO OLD !
Excercise: 30 minutes at least a day. Make it fun, it doesn’t have to be hard work.
Nutrition: Consider plant based foods and fresh produce, avoid processed foods and sugars Self Control: Free yourself from stimulants such as coffee and caffeine drinks, alcohol and drugs
Sunshine: Aim for 10 minutes outside every day. Get a wilk in, same time!
8 KEYS TO HEALTHY LIVING
Air: Take deep breaths, full your lungs with good clean air. Start every day with 10 deep breaths
Trust: Live at peace through meditation and prayer
Water: Drink at least 2 litres of
pure water every day
By following these steps you could add another 20 or more quality years to your life. These 8 principles can work together in balance to give the best outcomes for health and wellbeing.
KIA ORA, We are back with the third updated edition of the Hawke’s Bay Blokes Book. With over 10,000 copies of this little book previously in circulation and requests for more copies we know it’s so well needed for men and their families in our community.
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their support and also to Canterbury Men’s Centre for the original Blokes Book concept. Make sure to head to our website for even more information and support so we can keep the conversation of Men’s Health going. You can also order copies for your workplace and leave your feedback. Through the Blokes Book, we know we can also shine a light on the work of local services, groups and people. Our wish to also see local organisations supporting one another can make a real differ- ence to the wellbeing of our community. We hope this resource can continue to provide that through informa- tion and networking opportuni- ties. We wish you wellness! Shayne and The team @ The Blokes Book
In this revised edition we have added even more information, vital to health and wellbeing and updated listings for local support. Men’s health is important and our hope is that all Hawke’s Bay Men (and those that identify as men included) will find it easier than ever to find the right people to help on their wellness journey and step up and be proactive in their health. Avoid the waiting, take charge - You matter! For anyone looking to make a change to their lifestyle or seeking support we have tried to make this book both interesting and informative. We know often it is a family member seeking support or information on behalf and we hope what we have put togeth- er is helpful. Unlike other regions Hawke’s Bay does not have a dedicated Hub supporting men so we hope that this book will contin- ue to fill that gap here in Hawke’s Bay.
TO ORDER COPIES: www.bbhb.nz DESIGNER: The Renew Room PRINTER: Brebner Print Napier PROJECT MANAGED UNDER: Dads HQ COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK:
If you are unsure of what or how to access local support you are needing for yourself, a friend or family member please reach out to us here at The Blokes Book. We will make sure you find what you are needing.
Thanks to all our sponsors for
HOW TO MAKE THE CHANGE FOR YOUR BETTER LIFE. We all know that us Blokes are not really good at taking care of our health - right? Many of us wait until we are really unwell before we even hint to our partners , friends or work mates that things aren’t going well for us. The statistics for men’s health are not great and we are here to tell you - You Matter! SMALL CHANGES CAN MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE Just like any well oiled machine you need to look after it .Put in the right fuel and get it serviced regularly. Well, that’s how it is for your body too. The sooner you make changes the better. Even small changes can make a big difference to our health and well being. BE PROACTIVE Today is a good time to get a free health check. Don’t wait till you think you need to , step up and go find a friendly GP and be proactive . You can head to Our Health HB www.ourhealthhb.nz to find a whole load of info on managing and being proactive for your health. WHY BOTHER, BRO?
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The leading causes of premature death in men include various forms of cancer, heart disease, stroke, diabetes and suicide. By taking responsibility for your physical health you could help prevent this.
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REGISTER WITH A GP One of the most important things you can do to look after your health is to register with a general practice. GENERAL CHECKUP • 20-29 every five years or two years if family history. • 30-39 every two years. • 40+ annually. Before you go, think about what needs to be checked by your GP. Eg, bloods, skin, prostate, etc. DENTIST Find a good local dentist. Get a check-up every year. Brush twice a day and floss regularly.
3. Quit smoking Tobacco use causes cancer, lung disease, heart disease and stroke, It also causes impotence. Quitting smoking is one of the best actions you can take for your health – within 12 weeks, your lung function increas- es, within a year your risk of heart disease is already half that of a smoker’s. vapingfacts.health.nz 4. Eat better Eating a healthy diet helps prevent diabetes and many other diseases. Try to eat more fruit, vegetables, legumes (e.g. lentils), nuts and whole grains. Limit the amount of salt, sugar, saturated fats and meat. 5. Be more active: 1 in 4 people aren’t active enough. Adults should do at least 2.5 hours of moderate-in- tensity physical activity a week.
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HEARING TEST Get a hearing test every five years or more often if things have changed.
menshealthtrust.org.nz
EYES See an optician for an initial assessment to screen for health issues. Check your glasses every two years and contact lenses annually. 1. Have regular check-ups Even if you feel healthy, regular health checks (such as blood pressure, blood sugar levels, prostate checks) are essential to catch any problems early and stay in good health. Your mental health is just as important, and seeking help for mental health issues, including depression and anxiety can be critical. 2. Reduce alcohol use Drinking too much, or too often, increases your immediate risk of injury, road crashes and violence, as well as causing longer-term effects like liver damage, cancer and heart disease. Harmful use of alcohol can also affect your mental health and has a negative impact on your family and the people around you.
MOST LIFESTYLE DISEASES ARE AVOIDABLE
Everybody is a body worth nurturing and taking care of. Sometimes the pressure on body image that we see in the media can add extra pressure to conform to a ‘norm’ often set by marketing and advertising compa- nies. Being happy with our personal choice is the first step, making small changes with our food choices and choosing to move every day will see our bodies remain strong and healthy. So don’t wait, make healthy choices today for you, for your family and for a better healthier life!
TIME FOR CHANGE ? RE-SET RE-ADJUST RE-START RE-ADJUST
JUST DON’T QUIT
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR NEXT FREE ONLINE INFORMATION SESSION
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FEELING ANXIOUS OR DEPRESSED?
GET YOUR LIFE BACK RECOVERY PROGRAMME
FIND OUT IF THE PROGRAMME IS RGHT FOR YOU
LEARN HOW TO:
Identify depression and anxiety and their causes Enhance your energy levels and mood
Eat for optimal brain function Manage stress without distress Live above loss
Overcome depression and/or anxiety through positive lifestyle choices and right thinking Achieve peak mental performance
www.bbhb.nz
HEADSPACE
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HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE STRESSED ? • Mood swings/ anger
Be good to your head as it’s the GPS for your body. What you have going on between those ears is the biggest muscle in your whole body . It is also one of the biggest factors for your body being able to stay healthy. If you are feeling good you are more likely to notice when you are not feeling great and take some action! MINDFULNESS Mindfulness is not just for the juice guzzling hipsters, it's a great tool for helping you manage your stress levels. What you eat, how much sleep you are getting and of course some good old Vitamin N for nature.
• Low self esteem
• Feeling tense or anger
• Not sleeping well
• Poor memory
• Excessive drinking or drug use
• Withdrawing from family/friends
• Behaving out of character
• Losing interest in things that were fun
HELPFUL WAYS TO BEAT STRESS 1. Learn some relaxation techniques, get a helpful mindfulness app
2. Exercising
3. Do something different - get creative
4. Hang out with friend or family or make new ones
5. Volunteer give back
MINDFULNESS APPS TO TRY : Mentemia, Headspace, Small Steps
6. Go outside and get into some nature
7. Eat some healthy food
8. Play your favourite music
ANXIETY LINE 0800 269 4389 (24-7 Helpline) DEPRESSION HELPLINE 0800 111 757 TEXT 4202
9. Make time for you
10. Get more sleep
TIP : Try to live in the moment . If you’re playing with the kids enjoy the play (great destress for adults as well !) Let your kids show you how it’s done ! If you’re out with friends, be present, enjoy their company. Mute the phone and focus on the now - we know you can do it.
A PLACE TO CALL HOME
Providing printed copies of referee letters from previous landlords, may also be of help. Be prepared and ensure you complete the pre-tenancy application form, you can find this on the tenancy website. www.tenan- cy.govt.nz PUBLIC HOUSING If you can't afford or even find a private rental, you may be able to live in a public house or unit where the Government pays part of the rent. These are houses that are rented out by Kāinga Ora (used to be Housing New Zealand) and other Community Housing Providers. You need to meet certain criteria to qualify for public housing. If you apply, you may have to wait for a while until a suitable property becomes available. Head to workandin- come.govt.nz for more information.
Be it owning your own home, renting or living in a tiny home on wheels, a place to call home is important to everyone. RENTING Tenancy Services www.tenancy.govt.nz Everything you need to know about renting. Bonds, tenancy agree- ments & more Renters United www.rentersunited.org.nz Renters United is an advocacy group for renters that campaigns to make renting better for everyone in Aotearoa NZ. FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT Just like a job interview, arriving well-present- ed and on time goes a long way in helping make a positive first impression.. Some successful renters may even provide a“rent- ing CV” or cover letter, with information about themselves and their renting background.
Bonsai require individual care so do people.
Noel Cameron Helping people through Ѵb=;Ľv|u-mvbঞomv M 022 173 6170 E noel.cameron@raywhite.com
Leaders Hawke’s Bay Limited Licensed (REAA 2008)
WHAT ABOUT THE BOOZE
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When we drink alcohol it damages every organ in the body. It can lead to heart disease, depression, erectile dysfunction and cancer. Then it can ruin relationships, friendships and even make you a scary unpredictable Dad and partner. Our country is known as a land of drink and sport, and the two have gone together for years. But look at the hurt that has been caused to families by excessive drinking, it may even have happened in your own family.
HOW DO I NOT DRINK ALCOHOL
HOW TO SAY "NO" AND STAY SOBER
Eat before you go
Don't eat bar snacks as they are salty
S O D A
ALCOHOL HAS CONSIDERABLE TOXIC EFFECTS ON THE DIGESTIVE AND CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM
TALK MORE
Only one drink an hour
BE THE SOBER DRIVER REDUCE THE STRENGTH OF WHAT YOU DRINK MAKE EVERY SECOND GLASS WATER
World Health Organisation
REASONS TO DRINK RESPONSIBLY OR SAY NO. • When you drink too much, you risk missing out on the good times with family and friends. • No one likes being around someone who has had too much to drink, especially our kids - think of them. • Swap your next drink for water. • Swap your next drink for food. • Skip the next round. • Look out for your mates, be the sober driver.
Alcoholics Anonymous The only requirement for member- ship is a desire to stop drinking. Alcohol Drug Helpline 0800 787 797 12 Steps NZ 12 Step Plan Salvation Army NZ Alcohol and Drug addiction services. 0800 530 000 AI-Anon Family Groups NZ Support for family and friends. 0508 425 2666
SUPPORTING OUR HOMELESS COMMUNITY The Integrated Community Hub provides a safe space, day-time facilities with wrap-around support for the most vulnerable in Hastings.The hub provides a place for connection with service providers enabling the building of trusting relationships. HOURS OF OPERATION Currently the hub is open Monday to Satur- day from 8am – 11am, Monday to Friday 2pm - 6pm. Dinners are also provided Monday to Friday from 5pm to 6pm. (may change) On Sundays, the hub provides a venue for the congregation of the Hastings Church, with an inclusive shared lunch following the service. Whilst the hub is not an overnight service, staff and volunteers work closely with organisations such as Te Taiwhenua O Heretaunga to help those in need find shelter overnight. www.connect- community.org.nz/hub/ Hastings Lighthouse managed by WIT The Napier & Hastings Lighthouse are community-based centres that provide opportunities to meet others, take part in activities and have a cuppa. The Light- house provides information and supports access to community support services. Lighthouse activities help clients to connect with each other, build self-confidence and become valued members of the community. Hosted by staff that have lived experience of mental health and addiction, the Lighthouse welcomes everyone who is on their own mental health and addiction journey. The Lighthouse is open Monday to Friday and offers a Lite Lunch to eat with others .You can register to join the Lighthouse if you are 18 years of age or older and are a past or present user of Mental Health Services or currently engaged with an Addiction. www.witservices.co.nz : 06 8710409 M: 027 5520496 12
SMOKING / VAPES How about E cigarettes and are they safe to do? If you have moved from smoking cigarettes to vaping then smart move. But you could still be addicted to the nicotine in your e-cigarettes. The research around long term vaping is still sketchy but what we do know is there is always a risk when anything is inhaled into our lungs. Read more about vaping at www.heartfoundation.org.nz AM I ADDICTED? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? You're not alone, don’t ever feel that you are - there are millions of people that face addic- tion every day. There is no shame, some men are tall, some are single, some are not, some get addicted. The problems really being when you can’t admit the truth to yourself and it starts to get in the way of life. Once you can, then the healing journey can begin. Talk to a mate, your GP, a work colleague, a family member , or seek an organisation with people there to offer caring support.
Addiction Support Services Gambling Services Hawkes Bay Te Rangihaeata Oranga Trust gamblinghb.co.nz Sex Addiction Specialists Aotearoa www.sasa.nz Stop Smoking Hawke's Bay Te Haa Matea 0800 300 3777
CHANGE, LOSS & GRIEF
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Change, loss and grief can be an extremely hard and painful process. It’s something all of us have experienced, or will experience, in our lives. Losing someone or something you love is difficult. Grief is a feeling that comes from a loss that has come from a change in our lives. It can show up in our lives due to many different reasons, including: • people – through death or relationship change of any kind • health – ageing, illness, accident or loss of function or limb • things we own – by accident, theft, fire or flood • places – through moving countries, schools, house or city • our place in the world – change in a team, job, role, identity, ourselves • ecological – changes to and in our environ- ment Grieving is a very individual process and how you grieve will be different from how others grieve. Many factors influence this such as your personality, your life experience, how you cope under stress, your faith and, of course, the nature of the loss. The more significant to you the loss, the more intense the grief may be. There is no set time or process - grieving and healing takes as long as it takes. For some that could be weeks, for some months and others longer still. However, it’s important to know that over time the emotions of sadness, numbness or anger do fade and become more manageable as you start to rebuild your life. It’s important to remember that almost every feeling you have when you first suffer a loss is normal. However, if you do not eventually start to feel better, or you don’t feel as though you can handle things on your own, you should consider speaking to your
doctor. SIGNS TO LOOK FOR : There are many dimensions to grief. As well as emotions (shock, anger, sadness, regret, relief, guilt, confusion etc), grief can show up physically (fatigue, nausea, changes in eating, changes in sleep patterns, body aches etc) as well as mentally (distracted, inability to focus etc), socially (withdrawn, risky behaviour etc), and spiritually (what’s important now? etc). It’s especially important that you talk to your GP or someone close to you if you: • feel like life isn’t worth living • wish you had died with your loved one • feel sad and disconnected from others for more than a few weeks • are having difficulty trusting others since your loss • are unable to perform your normal daily activities. Growing Through Grief offers programmes for children, young people, and adults and supports individuals to adapt to the change, loss, and grief they are experiencing in their lives. They operate within Hawke’s Bay, Central Hawke’s Bay and Tararua as well as Bay of Plenty and Tairāwhiti. www.acw.org.nz
HELPING OUT A MATE
We want New Zealanders to know what puts people at risk, what warning signs we can all look out for, how to get help for ourselves or someone else and what we can do to prevent people from becoming suicidal. We want our families, whānau and community to feel empowered to care for their loved ones when they need support. If you think someone may be suicidal, or showing signs of depression, ask them. It could save their life just by showing you care. • Asking about suicide will not put the thought in their head. • Ask them directly about their thoughts of suicide and what they are planning. If they have a specitic plan, they need help right away. • Ask them it they would like to talk about what's going on for them with you or someone else. They might not want to open up straight away, but letting them know you are there for them is a big help. • Listen and don't judge. Take them seriously and let them know you care. • Help them to find and access the support they need from people they trust: friends,
family, kaumãtua, religious, community or cultural leaders, or professionals. • Don't leave them alone - make sure someone stays with them until they get help. • Support them to access professional help, like a doctor or counsellor, as soon as possible. Offer to help them make an appointment, and go with them if you can. If they don't get the help they need the first time, keep trying. Ask them if they would like your help explaining what they need to a professional. • Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor • Lifeline 0800 543 354 or 09 522 2999 or free text 4357 (HELP) • Suicide Prevention Helpline 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOK0) • Youthline 0800 376 633 or free text 234 • Samaritans 0800 726 666. Mental Health Crisis Team Napier, Hastings 0800 112 334
SUICIDE, GRIEF & SUPPORT
STAROS groups run weekly on Tuesday from 5:30pm to 7:00pm and are held on alternate weeks at venues in Havelock North, Napier, and Hastings.
STAROS has been supporting those bereaved by suicide in the Hawkes Bay since March 2012 and hold weekly support groups, (see times below) and will also meet people individually if required. STAROS has a basic philosophy of caring for and supporting others and is always willing to be involved with any events that will benefit and potentially improve the wellbeing of the people in our communities which in turn helps to build strong, healthy communities. They facilitate the running of workshops and events that provide useful information and tools for people to take away, that are accessible for as many as possible to attend, events that offer positive messages that give people options that will ultimately make a difference to how we treat each other and how we look after ourselves. STAROS has worked hard to form connec- tions and relationships with other community groups and organisations as well so that anyone who makes contact are able to receive guidance and support for whatever their needs may be within the shortest time frames possible. STAROS AFFECTED BY SUICIDE SUPPORT TRUST HAWKE'S BAY While support for people affected by suicide will remain as one of the pillars of what they do, alongside that support all at STAROS have a vested interest in the areas of suicide prevention, education, and aware- ness as they have all lost a loved one to suicide.
Contact: Warren 027 2864071 or Sandra 027 684 3033 Staros.org.nz
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SUPPORTING THE AFTERMATH Information and support for those bereaved by suicide within the Hawkes Bay and throughout New Zealand
email: support@staros.org.nz Warren 027 2864071 Sandra 027 684 3033
STAROS.ORG.NZ
StarosHB
BE GOOD TO YOUR HEART HEART HEALTH Heart Disease in many cases is a lifestyle disease. Genetics may be the gun but your lifestyle choices load the bullet. Be good to your heart. Heart disease happens when your arteries that pump your blood get gummed up with plaque. It makes your arteries hard and narrow meaning your heart has to do double time to pump that blood to where it needs to go. So what are the big players that contribute to heart disease? • Smoking
• High cholesterol • Lack of exercise • Family history • High blood pressure • Diabetes • Overweight • Drinking • Diet
So get out there, get your sneakers on and reach for a bit more fruit and veg. Being a couch potato doesn’t count either! www.heartfoundation.org.nz Hawkes Bay Branch 76 Wellesley Road Napier South Napier, 4110, Ph: 06 833 7446
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BELOW THE BELT
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Kiwi men. Every year nearly 4000 men are diagnosed and about 650 die from the disease – the third highest cause of death after lung and bowel cancers. Māori men have a slightly lower incidence of prostate cancer but have a higher death rate than other New Zealand men. The reasons for this may be a later diagnosis or treatment choices offered to them.
Plenty of guys have questions about treatment, starting families, sex and more and Movembers online resources are pretty cool as well as informative. GOT A QUESTION? Get straight answers from doctors and guys who’ve been there before. No topic’s off limits, so give it a go. Nutsandbolts.movember.com TESTICULAR CANCER At greater than 95%, the odds of survival for men with testicular cancer are better than good – but for some men, long-term treatment related side effects mean quality of life is severely compromised. testicular.org.nz PROSTATE CANCER Prostate cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer (apart from skin cancers) in
prostate.org.nz 0800 477 678 Hawke’s Bay Support group: Coordinator: Ven Plummer M: 021 487 373
Did you know, one of the most overlooked causes of erectile dysfunction is the beginning of Heart Disease.
WOF FOR YOUR BODY
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HEALTH CHECKLIST: Prioritise your health, make small changes, and embrace a holistic approach to well-be- ing. Health is a precious asset that we often take for granted until it's compromised. It's essential to appreciate and prioritise our well-being in advance. One approach to achieving optimal health is following the NEWSTART principles—an acronym for the "eight laws of health." These precepts provide simple guidelines for nourishing your body, promoting healing, and experiencing vitality. N - NUTRITION: Proper nutrition involves more than just avoiding refined foods, sugar, and salt. It's about consciously choosing nutrient-rich foods to fuel our bodies. Include a diverse range of fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, legumes, and whole grains in your diet. Try adding a fruit or vegetable salad to every meal for an extra nutritional boost. E - EXERCISE: Exercise is not limited to joining a gym—it's about engaging in physical activities that you enjoy. Find an activity that gets you moving and brings you joy, whether it's dancing, hiking, swimming, or playing a sport. Start small by incorporating movement into your daily routine, such as walking instead of driving short distances or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. W - WATER: Water is essential for human existence, constituting approximately 60% of our bodies. While the conventional recom- mendation is to drink eight glasses of water per day, it's important to focus on overall fluid intake. Opt for water and other healthy fluids over soft drinks and other acidic beverages.
role in our well-being as it provides us with essential vitamin D. Spend some time outdoors to benefit from sunlight exposure, but remember to protect your skin from excessive UV radiation by using sunscreen and wearing appropriate clothing. T - TEMPERANCE: Temperance emphasises moderation and self-control in all aspects of life. Avoid excessive indulgence in substances or behaviours that can harm your health, such as overeating, alcohol abuse, smoking, or addictive behaviours. A - AIR: Good air quality is crucial for our health. Ensure proper ventilation in your living and working spaces to promote fresh air circulation. Spending time in nature and taking deep breaths of fresh air can invigorate your body and mind. R - REST: Sufficient rest and quality sleep are vital for our bodies to repair and rejuve- nate. Establish a consistent sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine. If you experience difficulties sleeping, consider relaxation techniques like meditation or avoiding stimulating activities before bed. T - TRUST: Cultivating trust and spirituali- ty can provide emotional support and inner strength. Find practices that resonate with you, such as prayer, meditation, mindfulness, or connecting with a community that shares your beliefs. Nourishing your spiritual well-be- ing can contribute to overall health and balance in life. Remember that these eight laws of health are general guidelines for achieving well-being. Each individual's health journey is unique, and it's important to consult healthcare professionals for personalised advice and treatment when necessary.
S - SUNSHINE: Sunlight plays a crucial
BE PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER
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LEND A HAND – BE THE ONE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE Volunteering. It isn’t just good for your community, it’s good for you too! Did you know volunteering can : • boost self-confidence • lead to job opportunities • bring happiness There are lots of local community groups that need men to get involved and volunteer. While pitching in is vital for the well-being and development of our Hawke’s Bay community, volunteering can benefit you too, building social connections, offering skills and experience and improving mental and physical health. Whether you want to get out and about, share your knowledge or exper- tise, care for those in need, coach a team or be a mentor, there’s a wide variety of positions where you can lend a hand and make a difference. • introduce new skills • draw people together Volunteering Hawke's Bay Offering individu- al and group volunteer opportunities to help you find the right role to start lending a hand within your community. www.volunteeringhb.org.nz | 06 391 5476 | info@volunteeringhb.org.nz Napier Art Deco Trust. Are a volunteer organisation that safe guards Napiers Art Deco Heritage. We have several areas of volunteering and activities with high commu- nity engagement. We have Vintage Car tour drivers as well as Walking guide volunteers. Our volunteers interact with our surrounding
community and get to share Napiers stories with guests from all over the world! www.art- deconapier.com Big Brothers Big Sisters Become a mentor for a young person aged 6-12 years. A small investment of time can spark potential, support a young person to thrive and have a lifelong positive impact. www.bbbshb.nz PARS (Prisoners Aid and Rehabilitation Services) Hawkes Bay Manawatu PARS (Hawkes Bay Outreach) PARS Hawkes Bay partners with those who have experienced the justice system, and their whanau, by providing reintegration services. This includes a Men's group, social connection with a team of volunteers and advocacy with Government and other non-government agencies. Please call 022 602 0994/0800 727 700 or email hawkesbay@manawatupars.org.nz
BECOME A MENTOR MAKE A DIFFERENCE
a long history and in past times was a place for medical treatment as well, hence the red and white poles outside, that you still see today !Barbershops are important in any community as a place for men of all ages to come to regularly, with conversation and connection. Through a good haircut, barbershops can instill a sense of self confidence in their customers when they leave.
Mentors are positive role models who offer support, friendship and fun to a young person. A small amount of your time can make a lasting impact in your life and the life of a young person.
CONTACT US TODAY FOR AN OBLIGATION FREE CHAT 022 175 2296 hawkesbay@bbbs.nz
BigBrothersBigSistersHawkesBay
www.bbbshb.nz
YOUNG AT HEART
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Greypower National Office An advocacy organisation promoting the welfare and well-being of all those citizens in the 50 plus age group. Ph: 0800 473 979 www.greypower.co.nz Age Concern Hawkes Bay and Napier Ph: (06) 870 9060 | 06-842 1346 www.ageconcern.org.nz Enliven Ph: (06) 877 8193 www.psec.org.nz/enliven-older-people/ SeniorLine A national information service for those over 65 to help navigate the health system. www.seniorline.org.nz Dementia HB admin@dementiahb.org.nz Hastings 06 878 7502 Napier 06 834 0417
Many men over the age of 50 can experience significant mental health difficulties, particularly in regard to isolation, depression and risk of suicide. Many older men are reluctant to seek help from health or social services and also find that what is offered by older people's organisations do not meet their needs. Men in general and older men tend to hide how they may be feeling. This is often due to cultural ideas about manhood suggesting that men should keep their feelings to themselves and that mental health problems are a sign of personal weakness. Men who hold on strongly to these traditional ideas about masculinity may be reluctant to seek help or even admit to feeling sad. They may focus on physical symptoms rather than their emotions. They may also not recognise the signs of depression. (MensLine Australia)
Think about volunteering with a local group, ask for advice, give back to your community, be active and seek new challenges, stay connected with your community.
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WHAT IS A MEN’S SHED?
A Men’s Sheds brings men together in one community space to share their skills, have a laugh, and work on practical tasks individually (personal projects) or as a group (for the Shed or community) Sheds in Napier, Hastings, CHB and Wairoa.
www.menzshed.org.nz
WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK Back pain Did you know that having back pain is one of the leading causes for sick days off work. It’s also on the increase as we are living longer. Back pain can get in the way of exercise , sleep and in time even lead to depression. The key to looking after your back is to stay fit and flexible. Immobility weakens backs. Consider yoga and exercise that strengthens your core muscles. Don’t ignore back pain , there are many choices and options to help and relieve pain. After all it’s the only one you have.
Hearing Hawke’s Bay 06-835 7790 www.napierhearing.org.nz We offer hearing tests, advice and support for people with hearing loss, along with helpful devices and solutions to help with everyday hearing.
FEELING ANGRY? HERE ARE SOME SOLUTIONS TO HELP Anger is a perfectly normal healthy emotion. Everybody has different triggers and what causes one person to see red might not bother
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the next person. Anger only becomes a problem when it gets out of control or if expressed in aggressive and violent ways toward others. IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGERS Think about where and when you are more likely to get angry, and see if there is a pattern. For example do you get angry with certain people? When stressed? When drinking or using? At work? Or behind the wheel? LISTEN TO YOUR BODY Anger stimulates the adrenal response system which is the body’s way of coping, resulting in the fight or flight response. You may notice increased heart rate, tense muscles, increased temperature, rapid breathing or fist and teeth clenching. WHEN THIS HAPPENS TRY TO ▪ Pause and take a deep breath to avoid reacting straight away. ▪ Breathe in for blue and out for red. ▪ Walk away if you can. You can always come back and talk when things have calmed down. ▪ Visualise yourself dealing with the situation in a calm manner that’s non-aggressive but assertive.
LOOK WITHIN Anger is generally the result of other deeper feelings or emotions. Many men experience anger due to frustration, loss/grief, pain, depression/anxiety and being treated unfairly. ASK FOR HELP If you are struggling to manage your anger there is plenty of support out there. Don’t leave it too late. If you have ever felt so furious you have not been able to control yourself, or if anyone has asked if you have an anger problem then you probably do. Other signs of being affected by anger could be less obvious and include: ▪ always being irritable, little things make you angry and that is your main response to situations ▪ when you’re angry you’re aggressive or nasty ▪ you may feel depressed and avoid being around friends or family ▪ you may use drugs or alcohol to make you feel more relaxed or calm.
GIVE YOURSELF A REALITY CHECK
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When you start getting upset about some- thing, take a moment to think about the situation. Ask yourself: ▪ How important is it in the grand scheme of things? ▪ Is it really worth getting angry about it? ▪ Is it worth ruining the rest of my day? ▪ Is my response appropriate to the situation? I WANT CHANGE All over New Zealand communities are taking ownership of reducing and preventing family violence. Family violence happens in homes, in neighbourhoods and in communities. Crisis services such as Police and social services which support victims and perpetrators usually get involved after violence has happened. So communities have a significant role to play in preventing violence and making it not OK, just as they have with smoking and drink driving. Communities can bring family violence out into the open through media campaigns, billboards, posters, street events, signs on buses. Neighbourhoods can take a stand and make family violence not OK. Families can declare themselves violence-free. Adults can look out for and protect children in their neighbourhood and community. They can support parents to keep children safe.
FAMILY VIOLENCE INFORMATION LINE - NATIONAL HELPLINE Ph: 0800 456 450 NZ POLICE Call your local Police Station and ask for their Family Violence Coordinator. People at risk from domestic violence can get a Police Safety Order (PSO) from the police or a Protection Order from the court. DOVE HAWKE'S BAY INC. DOVE Hawkes Bay works to stop, heal and prevent family violence. (06) 843 5307 www.dovehb.org.nz FAMILY WORKS HAWKES BAY (06) 876 2156 www.familyworks.org.nz VICTIM SUPPORT Free 24/7 Helpline. Helping put victims of crime and trauma in control of restoring their lives. 0800 842 846 www.victimsupport.org.nz
MEN CAN BE VICTIMS TOO
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“I NEVER THOUGHT THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME” Sexual assault can happen to anyone, no matter your age, sexual orientation, or gender identity. Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused may have many of the same feelings and reactions as other survivors of sexual assault, but they may also face some additional challenges because of social attitudes and stereotypes about men and masculinity. REMEMBER…YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME… EVEN IF: ▪ Your attacker was an acquaintance, date, friend or partner. ▪ You have been sexually intimate with that person or with others before. ▪ You were drinking or using drugs. ▪ You froze and did not or could not say “no,” or were unable to fight back physically.
▪ This feels great! ▪ I want you/this/that ▪ Can we do more of that? ▪ This feels right ▪ Undressing
NO CONSENT MAY LOOK AND SOUND LIKE: ▪ No ▪ Stop ▪ I feel scared ▪ I’m not sure I want to do this ▪ That hurts ▪ Silence ▪ I want to, but not right now ▪ Slurred words ▪ This feels wrong ▪ Moving away ▪ Crying ▪ Putting clothes back on HAWKE’S BAY MALE SURVIVORS SUPPORT Tautoko Tāne Hawkes Bay (+64) 022 403 2191 MSAAT AND NATIONAL SUPPORT malesurvivor.nz VICTIM SUPPORT FREE 24/7 Helpline 0800 842 846 victimsupport.org.nz SAFETOTALK.NZ 0800 044 334 or text 4334
Reference : counselingcenter.utk.edu CONSENT
Consent needs to be a part of every sexual experience. Someone staying silent or saying maybe is not consent. People can change their mind at anytime whether it’s before anything actually happens, or half way through. Consent is not a contract. Sex without consent is sexual violence and is never okay.
CONSENT MAY LOOK AND SOUND LIKE: ▪ Yes! ▪ I really want to...
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Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Peer Support Services
Peer Support Peer Group Support Family / Whānau Support
Counselling ACC Sensitive Claims Con dentiality
tautokotanehbnz.org
IN PARTNERSHIP WITH DOVE HAWKES BAY
FAMILY MAN LIFE AS A NEW DAD
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3. Connect through touch Physical touch makes your baby feel safe and secure and builds trust and connection with you. This kind of bonding with newborns also stimu- lates your baby’s brain development. You could try carrying and holding your baby as often as you can. If you hold them to your chest, they can hear your heartbeat. 4. Talk to your baby as often as you can while you’re carrying or changing your baby. For example, ‘Let’s get this nappy changed. That feels better, doesn’t it? Here’s a nice clean nappy. Don’t cry – we’ll be finished soon’. Every word baby hears helps develop his language and learning and strengthens your relationship with him. Telling stories, reading books or singing songs has the same effect. 5. Look after your relationship . Having a new baby can put extra strain on your relationship with your partner. Try to stay positive and support each other as you learn how to parent together. Asking how your partner is going lets your partner know you care and you are there to support your new family. Understand the changes you will both be experiencing particularly around post partum and depression that can occur, also for men, about 10% of men can experience depres- sion after childbirth. 6. Help with breastfeeding Your support for breastfeeding can be vital while your partner is learning. You could give practical support – a glass of water, another pillow or whatever she needs. Or if she’s having trouble, you could encourage her to get help. If your partner finds she can’t breastfeed, you could reassure her that it’s OK and consider learning about bottle-feeding and formula.
Becoming a dad will possibly be one of the biggest events in your life. Making the most of any time you have off work to get to know your baby is a great way to start your life as a dad. This is time to begin your relationship with your child. Make sure to attend pre natal classes and mid wife meetings so you can share this journey as parents together. Be aware of paid parental leave that is available and prepare in advance so your employer is on board with you taking time away from work. As a dad, you’re going to have a huge impact on your child’s life. Newborn babies come into the world ready to connect with both their parents. If you’re going through the intense emotions – not to mention lack of sleep – that often come with a new baby, you might be wondering where to start and what to do. You might even be thinking your partner has it all covered, and feeling unsure of what’s left for you to do. PARENTAL LEAVE 1. Get involved in the daily care of your baby – dressing, settling, playing, bathing and nappy changing – is the best way to build your skills and confidence. These everyday activities also create lots of one-on-one time with your baby, which is the building block of a positive relationship. Another bonus is that it’s also good for your baby’s other parent to have a break. 2. Learn your baby’s cues, Babies give ‘cues’ or signals to what they need through their behavior and body language. By really paying attention to your baby’s cues, over time you’ll learn how to work out what your baby needs.
8. Paternal Depression In Dads this often goes unrecognised, yet 1 in 10 Dads experience this. If you are not feeling like yourself and this lasts for over 2 weeks then you need to find support and someone you can talk with. Life feels better when you are happy and well. See a GP or text 1737 30
7. Look after yourself. If you’re well, you’ll be better able to look after your baby and support your partner. You can keep your energy up with healthy lifestyle choices and as much sleep and rest as you can – even if it’s not at night.
Car seat: you can’t take your little bundle of joy home without a car seat Change of clothes: Comfy clothes recommended, such as sweatpants, sweatshirts Comfortable shoes such as sneakers or jandals Your own pillow or blanket from home, you may have to rest on a chair Toiletries: toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant Healthy snacks, like trail mix, fruits, veggies Reusable water bottle Loose change for the vending machines (for when you need a break from the healthy snacks!) Cell phone and phone charger / Camera - charged ! Speaker for music: even better if you and mom put together a playlist or two beforehand! Massage oil Birth plan: easily communicate what you want the birthing experience to be with the midwife or doctor by writing down your birth plan and bringing it along to the hospital NEW DAD’S BABY BAG CHECKLIST Here is our checklist of what to pack for you, your partner and new baby:
TOP TIPS Keep the car fueled up and know where you are going to park! Know the shortest route to get to the maternity ward / hospital in any traffic. Have money for parking. Don’t forget the car seat !
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SAFETY ON THE ROAD
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DRINK DRIVING / UNDER THE INFLUENCE In 2022, There was 178 deaths in crashes involving alcohol / drugs. *Note: Data is for all crashes reported by NZ Police to Waka Kotahi NZ Transport Agency for the year 2022 The second biggest contributing factor to road crashes in New Zealand, alcohol seriously affects your driving by slowing your reaction times and affecting your senses and judge- ment. Being a responsible driver means never driving when you're over the permitted blood alcohol level as it may impair your judgement. Seatbelts save lives – it’s that simple. Many drivers habitually speed on New Zealand open roads and urban streets, failing to seethe connection between vehicle speeds and crashes. Yet on average, 12 people are seriously injured or killed in a speed-related crash every week. Each year, approximately 90 people are killed on New Zealand roads because they didn’t wear a seatbelt. A seatbelt supports you if you’re involved in a crash or if the vehicle you’re in stops sudden- ly. In these situations, the force on the seatbelts can be as much as 20 times a person’s weight. If a seatbelt isn’t worn, this is how hard a person would hit the inside of the vehicle. Wearinga seatbelt increases the chance of surviving a crash by 40%.
Car accidents are one of the biggest dangers to New Zealand children. It’s important to choose the right child restraint to keep your child safe. Plunket for car seat safety plunket.org.nz
WORK / LIFE BALANCE
FREEDOM FROM FINANCIAL STRESS It’s the ultimate goal for business owners, but sometimes feels more like an impossible dream. In pursuit of that elusive work/life balance we try to mold our business into someone else’s idea of perfection. This is fueled by social media portraying an unrealis- tic picture of how we ‘should’ be doing life. We feel stuck, overwhelmed and indecisive and we struggle to pay ourselves.... let alone all the bills. We hunker down, work harder, sell more and do more, hoping it will all magically work itself out. REAL BALANCE COMES IN THE FORM OF THREE ‘FREEDOMS’ FINANCIAL FREEDOM Having sufficient cash flow for the quality of life you desire. Being able to rest easy knowing you have enough cash in the bank to pay the bills, grow your business or even take a holiday! TIME FREEDOM Being able to enjoy life outside of business. Hitting the gym, taking leave or making that Friday afternoon golf session instead of working all hours! MIND FREEDOM Having peace of mind. No more sleepless nights worrying about how you are going to pay your team or IRD. You have confidence that risks are managed, there will be no tax surprises and your business can weather any storm!
WHAT SHOULD YOU TALK TO YOUR ACCOUNTANT ABOUT TO MAKE THIS IMPOSSIBLE DREAM A REALITY? Planning and accountability are the keys here. Annual tasks such as business planning and forecasting set you up for success, while ongoing reporting and coaching keep you accountable and on the right track. Achieving that dream balance is a journey, not a destination.
LEGAL TALK Sometimes in life we may find ourselves in
situations that may require some legal support . Some examples are for wills , purchasing a home , mediation, or having to go to court. You can find a lawyer yourself or you may be eligible for free legal aid. Remember only lawyers can do what they do and sometimes taking legal advice from friends and family can end up being a very expensive mistake. WILLS What is a will? Your will is often your last message to your loved ones. It is a legal document that is unique to you and can help make sure your assets, the people and things you love are taken care of after you’re gone. See publictrust.co.nz for online wills or speak with a local Lawyer.
Find a family lawyer | Family Law www.familylaw.org.nz
Hawke's Bay - Community Law Free legal information and advice including family law and other court processes. Ph: (06) 878 4868 communitylaw.org.nz Legal Aid www.justice.govt.nz/find-a-legal-aid-lawyer Citizen’s Advice Bureau CAB is a free and independent service to all people so they can understand their rights and obligations to get the best possible outcomes.
Napier (06) 835 9664 Hastings (06) 878 0525 www.cab.org.nz
Sorted.org.nz
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EMPLOYMENT & WORKPLACE
WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I’M BEING BULLIED AT WORK? Bullying and harassment is a serious and common work risk which can also overflow into personal and home life. Studies suggest that between one in five and one in three New Zealand workers report bullying or harass- ment annually. Under the Health and Safety at Work Act 2015 businesses are expected to manage health and safety risks arising from their work as far as is reasonably practicable. Businesses must recognise that bullying is a health risk and deal with reports of concerns quickly and appropriately, with clear process- es in place to do so. It is crucial to have or Create a culture that: • values people speaking up through having a simple way for people to report concerns • builds good relationships and identifies appropriate behaviour
risk of issues not being raised with them. If you’re experiencing employer issues of any kind, which are making your workplace intolerable or where you believe you’ve been unfairly dismissed,contact local organisation
CONTACT LOCAL BUSINESS SACKED KIWI 0508 22 77 99 sackedkiwi.co.nz
• has speedy resolution options available.
It is important all businesses provide a means for workers to feel safe reporting concerns about bullying and harassment. The usual business reporting mechanisms may not work for bullying, and businesses need to be flexible about how it is reported to avoid the
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FEELING ANXIOUS OR STRESSED?
SELF HELP TECHNIQUES TO CALM It’s natural for us to worry or stress about things, in fact we have an inbuilt “negativity bias” in our brain that has us do this! Anxious feelings occur when we start thinking about future situations and anticipating that some- thing bad will happen or go wrong. Stress occurs when we don’t feel like we have the resources to cope with our situation. Both stress and anxiety trigger our fight, flight response, making us feel like our rational brain has been hijacked and it’s hard to get perspective, think logically or problem solve. TRIGGERS The first step to interrupting and managing these reactions is to notice your triggers and your signs and symptoms e.g. rapid breath- ing, churning tummy, lack of sleep etc. HAVENING TECHNIQUES® Havening Techniques® are a powerful and simple set of techniques, based on neurosci- ence, that can quickly take you out of the fight flight reaction. Havening uses soothing touch, in a way that sends messages to your brain to calm down and feel safe. It activates specific receptors in the skin that triggers the release of helpful, calming neurochemicals, such as serotonin, oxytocin and GABBA, putting you back in control. Touch should be at a moderate pace (not too fast or slow) and a pressure that feels soothing. Use a combination of the touches, or just one that you prefer, for 1-5 minutes, to feel calm.
SIMPLE SELF-HAVENING TECHNIQUES® You can also combine the Havening Touch- es® with deep breathing from your diaphragm; or saying a calming mantra to yourself e.g. “I’m calm, in control, relaxed” or “I’m safe, I’m ok right now” or something else that resonates with you. MORE INFORMATION For ongoing or chronic anxiety, stress or trauma you can see a qualified Havening Techniques Practitioner. For more informa- tion visit www.havening.org Havening Techniques is a registered trade- mark of Dr Ronald Ruden, 15 East 91st Street, New York. www.havening.org
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