CHANGE, LOSS & GRIEF
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Change, loss and grief can be an extremely hard and painful process. It’s something all of us have experienced, or will experience, in our lives. Losing someone or something you love is difficult. Grief is a feeling that comes from a loss that has come from a change in our lives. It can show up in our lives due to many different reasons, including: • people – through death or relationship change of any kind • health – ageing, illness, accident or loss of function or limb • things we own – by accident, theft, fire or flood • places – through moving countries, schools, house or city • our place in the world – change in a team, job, role, identity, ourselves • ecological – changes to and in our environ- ment Grieving is a very individual process and how you grieve will be different from how others grieve. Many factors influence this such as your personality, your life experience, how you cope under stress, your faith and, of course, the nature of the loss. The more significant to you the loss, the more intense the grief may be. There is no set time or process - grieving and healing takes as long as it takes. For some that could be weeks, for some months and others longer still. However, it’s important to know that over time the emotions of sadness, numbness or anger do fade and become more manageable as you start to rebuild your life. It’s important to remember that almost every feeling you have when you first suffer a loss is normal. However, if you do not eventually start to feel better, or you don’t feel as though you can handle things on your own, you should consider speaking to your
doctor. SIGNS TO LOOK FOR : There are many dimensions to grief. As well as emotions (shock, anger, sadness, regret, relief, guilt, confusion etc), grief can show up physically (fatigue, nausea, changes in eating, changes in sleep patterns, body aches etc) as well as mentally (distracted, inability to focus etc), socially (withdrawn, risky behaviour etc), and spiritually (what’s important now? etc). It’s especially important that you talk to your GP or someone close to you if you: • feel like life isn’t worth living • wish you had died with your loved one • feel sad and disconnected from others for more than a few weeks • are having difficulty trusting others since your loss • are unable to perform your normal daily activities. Growing Through Grief offers programmes for children, young people, and adults and supports individuals to adapt to the change, loss, and grief they are experiencing in their lives. They operate within Hawke’s Bay, Central Hawke’s Bay and Tararua as well as Bay of Plenty and Tairāwhiti. www.acw.org.nz
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