The Despatch Christmas Edition 2023

The despatch CHRISTMAS 2023


Russian dolls are so full of themselves.

Two fish are in a tank. One says, ‘ How do you drive this thing? ’

Just burned 2,000 calories. That is the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap

My sister said I could not make a car out of linguine. Her face was shocked when I drove pasta.

Build a man a fire and he ’ ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he ’ ll be warm for the rest of his life Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I don ’ t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it.

I ’ m reading a book about anti - gravity. It ’ s impossible to put down.

Atheism is a non - prophet organization

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you ’ re a mile away and you have their shoes.

The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

I saw a sign the other day that said, ‘ Watch for children, ’ and I thought, ‘ That sounds like a fair trade. ’


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