THE MYTH OF PERFECT PARENTING When Good Enough Is Better
Most parents have found themselves in a situation with their kids where they stop and think, “I’m messing this up.” It usually happens in the middle of an ordinary day. You get short with your child when you meant to be patient, or you realize too late that they were trying to tell you something while you were only half listening. Maybe you were distracted or tired, maybe your mind was already on the next thing. In those moments, it can feel like good parenting depends on getting everything right all the time. It doesn’t. Kids tend to benefit much more from a parent who is emotionally available and engaged than from one who is so concerned with getting everything right that they neglect the relationship itself. That lines up with the older idea of “good enough parenting,” a research-backed approach that dates back to the 1950s.
Being a “good enough” parent isn’t about lowering the bar you’re working toward. The point is to recognize that kids can thrive with parents who are responsive and involved, even though they are also imperfect, distracted, and human. Research shows that this approach is actually more beneficial for our kids than over-parenting, which can leave them more anxious and less confident. It also helps to remember that when parents make too much of their own mistakes, kids can start absorbing that same kind of pressure and self-criticism. So, what does this type of parenting look like in real life? It basically comes down to staying connected with our kids without acting like every moment has to be handled perfectly. Often, that can be as simple as pausing before reacting or stopping to give kids our full attention
when they’re trying to tell us something. It might also mean going back to a moment we handled poorly and trying again. Responses like those can do more to build resilience and trust than parents sometimes realize. No matter how much effort we put in, parenting will always be challenging. The goal isn’t to get it perfect, but to keep showing up, learning, and growing, while letting go of the idea that every imperfect moment means we’re doing something wrong.
The Strange Laws of Alaska DON’T WAKE A SLEEPING BEAR!
In Alaska, it is illegal to wake a sleeping bear just to take its picture. The fact that this law exists means that, at some point, someone looked at a sleeping bear and thought, “You know what this bear needs? To wake up for
a photo shoot.” Although the law might sound absurd, it gets at a bigger point. Alaska doesn’t deal with the same day-to- day problems as the rest of the country. You can see that clearly in laws across the state. Local code in Soldotna on the Kenai Peninsula prohibits what it calls “attractive nuisances,” which is just a codified way of saying people shouldn’t leave food or other tempting things around that invite bears into town. It’s another rule that sounds funny on paper, but it starts to feel a lot less funny when you imagine a bear wandering your neighborhood because someone got careless with their trash. Under Alaska law, it’s also illegal to view moose from an airplane, although that only tells part of the story. The restrictions are tied specifically to using an aircraft to spot moose for same-day hunting. That says a lot about how common small planes are in the
state and how seriously it takes fair-chase hunting to protect local wildlife.
Alaska’s odd laws don’t stop there. Fairbanks has ordinances covering issues such as unnecessary horn use and excessive shouting in public places. It’s also illegal to ride a motorcycle or operate heavy equipment at night in Fairbanks. Unlike the other laws mentioned here, these have nothing to do with wildlife, but they say something about how much Alaskans value peace and quiet. And at some point, someone clearly decided the nighttime motorcycle situation had gone far enough. Some of Alaska’s laws may be good for a laugh, but most of them feel oddly practical once you understand the circumstances behind them. It’s one thing to read about a sleeping bear law from far away. It’s another to realize somebody apparently needed a reminder.
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