CALM IS CONTAGIOUS
A Revolution of Residential Design
When big emotions show up at home, your child isn’t the only one who’s feeling them. You are also going through an experience, and their nervous system is taking cues from you. When your stress rises, theirs will also climb, often mirroring your anxiety before they have words to explain it. The truth is that calm is contagious. If you can self-regulate and ground yourself, your child will follow your lead. Understanding this co-regulation is one of the first steps toward helping your child feel safe and secure, even in the hard moments. HOW YOUR EMOTIONS SHAPE YOUR CHILD’S STRESS
LEVITTOWN AND THE RISE OF SUBURBIA
In 1947, a stretch of potato fields on Long Island started growing something new. Instead of potatoes, the land was transformed into thousands of identical houses, each built in just a few days. The development was called Levittown. To the families moving in, it must have felt like a miracle. To those watching from afar, it looked like the future. Before Levittown, the suburbs were mainly for the wealthy. Places like Shaker Heights in Ohio and Riverside in Illinois offered quiet streets away from the pollution and overcrowding of the city, but working families couldn’t afford to live there. Levittown was different. The developers, Levitt & Sons, treated home construction like an assembly line, and crews efficiently knocked out house after house. At their peak, they finished dozens of homes a day. Housing was in high demand at the time. With veterans returning home from World War II and the baby boom beginning, cities were running out of space. A Levittown home sold for around $8,000, which was within reach of families using GI Bill loans. The single-story houses came with stoves, televisions, and a small yard for barbecues. It wasn’t luxury, but it gave the families who moved there a chance to live their version of the American dream. Soon, the development became its own world. Swimming pools, baseball fields, and shopping centers became places where families ran into neighbors on Saturday mornings, which felt new and full of possibility. But that possibility wasn’t a reality for everyone. Racist sales policies barred Black families from buying homes, even when they qualified for loans. The suburb also reinforced older ideas about gender. Women who had worked during the war felt pressure to return to domestic life, stay home, and care for the kids while their husbands commuted to work. For all its promise, it was still a product of its time. Even so, Levittown launched a new style of living that transformed the landscape of American life. Other developers copied the model, and before long, new neighborhoods stretched toward the horizon. Rows of identical houses became symbols of stability, and the dream of a better life moved to the city’s edges.
WHAT IS CO-REGULATION? Co-regulation is a way to help your child when they are feeling overwhelmed, but it’s also an important lesson for them. By walking alongside them and being aware of your own feelings, you’re helping them learn how to self-regulate. This is a skill that takes time for young people to develop. As parents and guardians, we don’t always realize how much our energy and mood impact our children. You must pay close attention to your stress levels and actions, being mindful of your facial expressions and tone. You can only help your child become more grounded when you are grounded yourself. HOW CAN YOU SPREAD CALM? If you notice your child is struggling with their emotions, the first step in helping them is to identify how you are feeling. Take a mindful pause before approaching the situation, practicing deep breathing techniques to regulate your heart rate. Ask them about what’s going on so you can watch how they respond and understand their emotions. You can lightly place a hand on their shoulder, hug them, encourage them to take a deep breath, or suggest they have a glass of water. Once they have calmed down, you can try discussing with them what the next steps might be, such as moving on to another activity or resolving any lingering negative feelings. The first step to co-regulation is self-regulation, and your calmness will teach your children how to overcome the stressful emotions they are feeling. Want to learn more about co-regulation? Dr. Stefanie Mazer is a Florida psychologist who helps families feel seen and heard. Visit her website at DrStefanieMazer.com .
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!
The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com
2 • BrucePA.com
Made with FlippingBook Ebook Creator