All was blurred, no clear lines colors or images. It was endless, threatening to swallow me and take me under. Everything that I had prepared for, years and years of…All lost meaning. As if in one moment, I had reached a tipping point where all was futile. Blinded by the lights, there came a moment of clarity, I lost my voice, realizing I had not been alive.
Her attention was drawn to a piece of paper on the desk- An inner voice immediately echoed the famous phrase “to be or not to be”. She knew that this paper could / would open up doors that she was not sure if she wanted to walk through. She stood in silence frozen in place. The harsh ray of light that penetrated through the drawn shutters was fierce. It presented itself as a straight arrow which lit up the piece of paper with a red intensity, almost about to burst into flames. Then the words would be lost into oblivion. She too wanted to be lost into oblivion. All was known and present, the absence and emptiness encompassing all. Encountering the written words would realise what she already knew , upon awakening that morning. The knowledge and pain so fierce, just getting out of bed seemed a task she would drown in. Another ending Another inevitable ending It seems as if reality is playing out her worst nightmare, But perhaps finally, some peace might cover all , as the worst has occurred,
No more fear, Just raw pain.
First, I thought it was all a misunderstanding- I think this is a sentence that haunts me,
The possibility of going on in a day-to-day manner and then the arrival of a message or a phone call that begins in a mundane manner, not arousing any sign of what is to come, And then the slow realization that everything has come undone, that nothing will ever be the same again. The fear of loss, so actual and present, as if there is no more skin covering my soul.
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