riddance. Let’s take the example of all the hard subjects I so assiduously avoided in college, the dreaded STEM subjects – where one was tested with real questions and was expected to give real answers. I’d argue that science, technology, engineering, and mathematics are also dependent on B.S. Not that there’s any B.S. in these fields. (Well, there is – but there shouldn’t be.) Rather, the problem is who funds science, technology, engineering, and mathematics? Usually it’s fools – like me. We who are full of B.S. are the people who rise to be corporate chief executives, presidents of universities, and high plenipotentiaries holding the public purse strings. Think of all the things that we owe to B.S... Think of all the things that would be impossible without B.S... Poor Jim Bridenstine, the new NASA administrator, will have to go before a Congressional budget committee and say, “We need $10 billion for the James Webb Space Telescope so that we can peer deep into the universe and investigate across the fields of astronomy and cosmology to observe some of the most distant events and objects in the universe, such as the formation of the first galaxies.” Congressman: “Why? Are there voters out there?” Jim: “Um...” (And this is where Jim needs B.S. He needs somebody like me to rush to his side.)
Jim: “Perhaps I should let my staff member, Junior Space Cadet O’Rourke, explain the further benefits of the James Webb Space Telescope.” Congressman: “Let the witness be sworn in.” Me: “The Honorable Representative will be pleased to know that, besides its telescopic properties, the James Webb Space Telescope also employs an eight-foot array of mirrors which, if the situation requires, can be reversed to collect solar rays and focus them in an intense beam directed at Bashar al-Assad, causing his head to pop like a kernel of Orville Redenbacher’s in a 1,200-watt microwave.” Congressman: “$10 billion? OK.”
Hank Blaustein | © 2014 Grant’s Interest Rate Observer. Used by permission. www.GrantsPub.com
American Consequences 83
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