coherence to themselves and their organisations, building cultures where connectedness and high performance, as well as satisfaction and meaning are naturally interconnected. Many cultures and the institutions within them have developed two beliefs about human emotions that I believe are false. The first is that there is such a thing as ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ emotions. The second is that emotions make us weak, unpredictable and ultimately, unproductive. Ask yourself if you believe that fear blocks you. If your answer is “yes”, you are not alone. Whenever I put this question to a room full of executives, virtually all agree that fear is an obstacle. The prevailing belief is that we should either block out or rid ourselves of fear, since sitting in this ‘negative’ emotion prevents us from taking the bold steps required to solve problems. But nothing could be further from the truth. What blocks our ability to solve problems is the act of blocking the feeling of fear itself. Once someone feels safe enough to allow themselves to feel fear — to relax and pay attention first to the physical sensations of fear and only then to the thought patterns and narratives it creates — there is almost always a moment of shift or opening. This usually leads to an energising or settling sensation, felt throughout the body, which is the exact opposite of being stuck or blocked. As the psychotherapist and poet Miriam Greenspan states in Healing Through the Dark Emotions : “Vulnerability is at the heart of our human capacity for empathy; for suffering, but also for joy; for hurt, but also for compassion; for loneliness, but also for connection. When we are most vulnerable, we
REAL-WORLD EXAMPLES OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AT WORK
• During a recent retreat, one participant had a ‘light bulb moment.’ He recalled an incident in which he had discovered an employee engaging in illegal activity and called the police. “The police came,” said the executive, “and, in front of everyone, handcuffed the man and marched him out. Staff were understandably shocked. Later, I called everyone together, told them why I had involved the police and encouraged them to get on with their work. But, for most of that week, people were in a kind of daze.” In this ‘lightbulb’ moment, he realised he could, instead, have called everyone together and said: “I’m angry at our colleague, but I’m also shocked and upset to have seen him arrested in front of us. “I imagine many of you may be feeling similarly, so let’s acknowledge our emotions. Take a few minutes with the person next to you and share how you both feel.” He reflected: “Had I simply acknowledged and made space for how everyone was feeling, we would
have saved three days and hundreds of hours of below‑par performance.” • One of my clients leads an organisation of more than 100,000 employees and simultaneously holds several board positions. He recently told me about being in the board meeting of a major US company in which a deeply heartfelt conversation occurred as members discussed the idea that everyone’s humanity ‘needed to shine.’ At some point in that meeting, he said, everyone present had shed a tear. “I had never been in a board meeting where anything like that had happened,” he recalled. “And I bet it has never happened in any Fortune 50 company before.” A little while later he wrote this: “Just had our company board meeting. Everybody was in the usual strategic planning mode. Then, I asked the question, ‘How is the leadership team feeling?’ It was a cathartic conversation and something completely different opened up.”
24 Business Impact • ISSUE 4 • 2023
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