Health is wealth Mag - APRIL - MAY 2025

Self-Love & Self-Worth

The Wound of Abandonment:

You associated love with the fear of being left behind. Why You Always Choose Those Who Don’t Choose You

Why do you always fall in love with people who don’t value you, don’t prioritize you, or simply don’t choose you? Have you ever experienced this? You fall for someone who is never emotionally available. You put too much effort into a relationship while the other person does the bare minimum. You keep waiting for them to change, to realize your worth, but it never happens. You justify their indifference, thinking that one day they will prioritize you. When the fear of loneliness makes you seek love in the wrong places.

How Do You Know If You Have the Wound of Abandonment? When this wound remains unhealed, we repeat the same pattern in adulthood: we cling to people who don’t choose us because we believe love must be earned. If you identify with these situations, this wound may be controlling your love life: 1.You feel terrified of rejection or being ignored. You put excessive effort into relationships and accept less than you deserve. 2. You always end up in relationships with emotionally distant or cold people. 3. When someone offers you love and stability, you lose interest. 4. You justify your partner’s indifference and keep waiting for them to "change." 5. You fear being alone and prefer mediocre relationships over solitude. 6. If these patterns resonate with you, it’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to heal them.

This pattern has a name: the wound of abandonment.

What Is the Wound of Abandonment and Where Does It Come From? The wound of abandonment originates in childhood and deeply affects our relationships in adulthood. Possible causes: You grew up with an emotionally or physically absent parent. You felt you had to "do something" to receive love or attention. You experienced rejection or loss at an early age. If love always makes you suffer or you find yourself in relationships where you have to "earn" the other person’s attention, it’s time to look within and heal what has kept you trapped in this cycle.

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