Turning Tension Into Trust
Smart Strategies for Handling Tough Customers
According to the Society for Human Resource Management, more than 70% of workers experienced or witnessed acts of incivility daily during a three-month period in 2024, potentially damaging productivity and morale. Customers and clients who display challenging, disruptive behavior are clearly an increasing problem. Many business owners just chalk it up to the costs of striving for growth and success, but more than a few wonder if some customers create more problems than they’re worth. Is it ever okay to “fire” a customer? The decision requires business owners to weigh the costs of serving that customer against the toll on productivity. Here is a deeper look at the tradeoffs involved. SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY Challenging customers can serve as an incentive to learn and train employees in new interpersonal skills. The first step is to listen carefully and discern the customer’s motives. Some people complain because they want you to recognize their wants and needs as important. Some behave aggressively to cover up their anxiety or irritation with life in general. Others claim to know more than you based on a need to control others or show off. It’s equally important to realize problems that have nothing to do with your company may have triggered the customer’s difficult behavior. For example, someone having trouble paying expenses might blow up over a small billing problem. Business owners should consider the possibility that the customer is having difficulty understanding instructions or having a bad day. Figuring out the underlying issue can help you respond most effectively, even empathically. To understand the customer’s problem, allow them to voice their complaints completely without interrupting. Practice active listening by making eye contact, avoiding distractions, and signaling your understanding by verbally confirming you hear their concerns. DISPEL THE TENSION Show empathy by acknowledging the customer’s anger or frustration. And never, ever descend to the customer’s level by abandoning your professionalism, politeness, or respect. Repeat a description of the customer’s complaint to show that you understand. You might say, “If I understand you correctly, you’re upset because the product you received arrived too late for you to use.” This shows the customer you’re paying attention and also validates their emotions.
Even if your business is not to blame, it can be helpful to apologize for the distress they are experiencing, such as, “I’m sorry this has caused you so much frustration.” Then, engage with the customer to find a solution. Ideally, present more than one option for them to choose from. Then, follow up later to ask whether the solution was helpful. How you handle the problem demonstrates to the customer that you are committed to excellent service, which will, ideally, lead to a trusting relationship.
LET GO If a customer’s behavior crosses a line into abuse, it may be necessary to end the relationship. Threatening language, aggressive behavior, or insults are unacceptable. Keep notes on such behavior, and set limits by saying, “I would like to help solve this problem, but I cannot help if we aren’t able to have a polite conversation.” If you decide to terminate the relationship, do so politely. Express your regrets honestly, and explain that another provider would likely better serve their needs. However, this step should only be a last resort. Given the power of online reviews and social media, finding a resolution is nearly always worthwhile.
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