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J anuary 2025
Staying Together ‘for the Kids’ Can Do More Harm Than Good We have heard parents say, “We would get divorced, but we’re staying together for the kids.” Though it may seem like a noble act or brave sacrifice, is it really in this couple’s and their children’s best interest? Staying in an unhappy marriage to avoid disrupting a child’s life may unintentionally send a harmful message: Remaining in a state of misery is the norm, and you’re stuck in it with us. that’s the right path for you to take. Children have autonomy. They need space for agency in their lives to control their destiny and not suffer the same fate you did. As parents, you want to empower them so they can create a future that’s right for them. BREAKING FREE FOR THEIR SAKE
If you are going through a divorce, it’s imperative to remember your child is indeed half you, but they are also half your partner. Your child is loyal to both parents; if we put them in the middle, it’s never a positive place for a child. “It’s essential to evaluate your need for divorce, regardless of what impact you think it may have on your children.” We often have parents who don’t want to speak poorly of the other parent, even in cases where their partner may be slamming them. What can happen is that when the child spends time with one parent, they may talk about how awful their ex is and how horrible their life is now after divorce. Sometimes, the children only get one story against one parent. You don’t have to get into the dirt, drag them into the drama, or explain your side. But it’s essential to show up and present balance, explaining that mom or dad may be feeling unhappy, and that’s why they say those things. Depending on the child’s age, child-focused divorce also involves consulting with them about what they want to do and their feelings. For children ages 11 and up, getting their opinions about the divorce is essential. You don’t have to implement them but should consider their views. Even for younger kids, this conversation makes the process less frightening. Divorce is never easy, but a child-focused approach can pave the way for healthier relationships and a brighter future for you and your children. By prioritizing open communication, respecting your children’s feelings, and keeping them out of adult conflicts, you set a powerful example that teaches them lifelong lessons.
This month is International Child-Centered Divorce Month, and I think a more meaningful perspective is a “child-focused divorce” — a separation that emphasizes the child’s well-being while acknowledging the parents’ need for healthy, separate lives. Despite the best intentions to maintain your family, staying in an unhealthy relationship teaches the children that it is normal, acceptable, preferable, and even praiseworthy behavior. Our children look to us as they learn about life, how they relate to the world, and what relationships look like. When parents feel stuck in the marriage for their children’s sake, the whole family is likely suffering. Ultimately, children learn that unhappiness is the status quo in marital relationships — not a hopeful outlook.
It’s essential to evaluate your need for divorce, regardless of what impact you think it may have on your children. If you still think you need to separate, then
–Michael Manely
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The new year offers us a fresh start, a chance to reflect, get organized, and set intentions. Every year, I like to think of a guiding word like “joy” or “peace” to inspire my goals or resolutions. If peace of mind is what you are seeking in the new year, organizing your estate plan now can be a meaningful step toward achieving it. By getting your estate plan in good shape, you’re not just simplifying your life, you’re ensuring your loved ones are cared for in the future. ORGANIZE YOUR ASSETS. Estate planning requires organization; one of the first steps is locating all your assets. Make sure you have all the information for your bank accounts, savings, investments, life insurance policies, and any other necessary legal paperwork. Create a detailed list of your assets, including real estate, stocks, heirlooms, and any valuable items to your family. Along with the list, it’s essential to explain where your documents and assets are. The best method is to keep estate plan records in the same place, like a safe or file cabinet. Make sure your family and executors know where everything is. CONSIDER DIGITAL ASSETS. In today’s technology-driven world, you likely also have important digital assets to protect. You might have cherished photos or crucial documents saved on your computer or social media accounts. If NEW YEAR, NEW PEACE OF MIND Estate Planning Tips for a Fresh Start
these are password-protected, make sure you designate someone who will have access to your digital information, like logins and passwords.
SHARE DETAILS WITH YOUR LAWYER. Working with an experienced estate planning lawyer will ensure you have guidance through the process and a backup for all your essential documents. We provide online or in-person documents to help you track your assets, executors, and beneficiaries and plan out vital elements in your will or trust. We can help you get organized, and if you lose any important documents, we will have copies so your loved ones don’t run into any issues. Organizing your estate plan now can bring peace of mind as you enter the new year. With everything in place, you can close the loop in your head and ensure your loved ones have clarity on your wishes.
–Cherish De la Cruz
HELPING CLIENTS FIND THEIR WAY M eet K aitlin H ocker At The Manely Firm, our attorneys are passionate about seeking justice for clients and providing empathetic guidance through some of life’s most challenging legal matters. Associate Attorney Kaitlin Hocker is always honest and realistic with clients, acting as an emotional soundboard while providing a real strategy to move forward. encouraging, and we have such a wealth of knowledge at the firm, so when we deal with these complex issues, I know someone’s going to have the answer for it.” Since joining the firm, Kaitlin has become a go-to attorney for TPO cases and shared her expertise by leading a webinar on the topic for our team. She is also bilingual, helping us serve Spanish speakers.
“They’re coming to us because they need help,” she said. “We work to try to set the client’s expectations and also try to meet their goals as best as possible, even if the facts aren’t favorable.” Though Kaitlin is new to the field, she’s already made a difference. In 2023, she graduated from the Georgia School of Law and worked for the Jane W. Wilson Clinic, specializing in temporary protective orders (TPOs) for domestic violence victims. This was her first experience with family law. She began working for a civil litigation firm but found she missed working with clients on TPO cases. As she began to search for a better fit, she discovered The Manely Firm, and we hired her in March. “It’s definitely one of my favorite jobs I’ve ever had,” she said. “The people I work with are just really nice and
Kaitlin is a local movie theater buff and loves long- distance running, participating in several marathons and trying to get runs in every week. For her, “there’s really no winning or losing in family law” cases; it’s about compromise. She strives to use every resource available for clients while setting reasonable expectations and finding the right emotional balance. “I love to listen to them. I love to be kind of a sounding board for them emotionally, but at the same time, you have to put your emotional guardrails up a little bit because the best way I can be an attorney is if I’m also preserving myself.” We are thrilled to have Kaitlin on our team, where her dedication shines through every day.
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ONE-POT CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP
Imagine two people walking along a picturesque beach with beautiful weather and a sailboat in the distance. One person smiles, remembering happy memories of sailing with their family, while the other feels a pang of sadness, recalling the loss of a loved one in a boating accident. Both saw the same scene, but their reactions and emotions differed significantly because very different experiences shaped their stories about the situation. How we feel in response to the reality presented to us is not evoked by reality; it’s based on the story we tell ourselves about the facts. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions. We don’t typically choose how we will feel about things; early experiences, cultural norms, family dynamics, and even religious or societal influences program our subconscious. Early life lessons become a framework for interpreting reality and how we feel in response. Developing emotional intelligence allows us to take a step back, identify these automatic responses, and make deliberate choices about how we want to respond. Practicing emotional intelligence requires mindfulness and acknowledging that our feelings are not necessarily the truth of the situation but our interpretation of things. To build this skill within ourselves, we must learn about the nuances of emotions. Guilt, for example, differs from remorse; abandonment is not the same as feeling ignored. Expanding our emotional vocabulary plays a vital role in growth and becoming stronger in our emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence can empower you to use your emotions positively to overcome challenges and relieve stress. It helps you strengthen meaningful relationships, succeed at home and work, and achieve your goals. When you can connect with your feelings and use them to make informed choices, your intention transforms into action. This year, we will explore emotional intelligence in depth, delving into helpful tools like the emotion wheel, which helps individuals identify their feelings more precisely, and ways to grow your ability to recognize your emotions and use them to navigate your responses. Stay tuned to this series as we continue this journey of self-discovery and emotional empowerment! The Stories We Tell Ourselves MATTERS OF THE HEART
Inspired by TasteOfHome.com
I ngredients
• 2 1/2 lbs skinless,
• 4 celery ribs, chopped • 4 medium carrots, chopped • 2 bay leaves • 1 tsp dried thyme • 3 cups uncooked egg noodles (about 8 oz) • 1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley • 1 tbsp lemon juice
bone-in chicken thighs
• 1 tsp salt • 1 tsp pepper • 2 tbsp olive oil
D irections 1. • 1 large onion, chopped • 3 garlic cloves, minced • 10 cups chicken broth
Season chicken with salt and pepper. In an 8-quart stockpot over medium- high heat, add oil and chicken and cook until golden brown, 3–4 minutes. Remove chicken and set aside. 2. Add onion to drippings; cook over medium-high heat for 4–5 minutes. Add garlic and cook for 1 minute. Add broth and bring to a boil. Return chicken to pot. Add celery, carrots, bay leaves, and thyme. Reduce heat and cover; simmer until chicken is tender, 25–30 minutes. 3. Turn off heat. Remove chicken to a plate. Add noodles and let stand, covered, until noodles are tender, 20–22 minutes. 4. Shred chicken meat into bite-size pieces, and return to pot. Stir in parsley and lemon juice, and discard bay leaves.
“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice.” –T.S. E liot
–Shelia Manely
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211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 www.allfamilylaw.com
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The Power of Child-Focused Divorce
Secure Your Future and Simplify Your Present How Kaitlin Balances Compassion and Realism
Unlocking Emotional Intelligence One-Pot Chicken Noodle Soup
Smart Snacks for Stress-Free Family Travel
S nack S mart HEALTHY MUNCHIES EASE TRAVEL WITH KIDS
“I’m hungry” may be the second most common complaint parents hear when traveling with kids — right behind, “Are we there yet?” Children need to eat often because they have small stomachs and high energy needs. Running on empty can cause irritability and fatigue, tempting many parents to resort to fast-food drive- thrus. A healthier, thriftier route may be to invest time upfront in planning and preparing snacks to keep your kids happy. Some snacks can occupy preschoolers with counting, sorting pieces, or assembling their own treats. For example, preschoolers handed a bag of rainbow-colored Goldfish crackers may be tempted to sort and count by color. Kids can create mini-sandwiches from homemade “lunchable” bags with high-fiber crackers, Artisana nut-butter packets, lean deli meats, and cheese. “Ants on a log” is another entertaining snack: Stuff celery sticks with nut butter, hummus, or cream cheese and line the filling with raisins or nuts.
you to select high-fiber, low-sugar ingredients such as nuts, dried fruit, whole-grain pretzels, and unsweetened dry cereal. Legume-based chips such as Harvest Snaps or Hippeas chickpea snacks can add novelty. If you’re short of time, consider assembling some ready-to- grab items such as RX Bars with Nut Butter, high-protein Chomps meat sticks, dried fruit, rice cakes, and portable tubes of low-fat yogurt. Fresh fruit and handheld cheese sticks or Babybel mini-snacks are spill-proof protein sources. A few hard-boiled eggs, perhaps with a little hot sauce or ketchup, can calm hunger. And for youngsters in a growth spurt, some rolled-up slices of deli meat with cheese can satisfy their boundless appetites. Finding the right container or bag can make portable snacks easier to manage. If you have room among your belongings for a small cooler, keep yogurt, fresh veggies, and other perishables handy. A small, inexpensive tackle box or zippered tote can be another space-saving solution. Once all the preparations are behind you, you can relax knowing your kids will be well-nourished and ready to enjoy the trip!
The most satisfying, energizing snacks combine protein, healthy fat, and fiber. Making your own trail mix enables
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