Buchanan Law Group - January 2025

Shining the Light on Lighthouse Parenting

Checking in Regularly: Ensuring open lines of communication.

• Encouraging Autonomy: Allowing kids the freedom to make decisions and learn from the outcomes. • Promoting Resilience: Supporting children as they navigate challenges, helping them to develop coping skills and independence. PARENTS SET BOUNDARIES AND OFFER SUPPORT. Unlike authoritarian parenting, which might stifle a child’s sense of independence, lighthouse parenting encourages self-reliance through trust and minimal but firm boundaries. Parents provide the framework, trusting the kids to make good decisions. This method helps to build a robust support system where children know they have the safety net of their parents’ guidance when needed. KEEP THE LIGHT ON Adopting the lighthouse method involves unconditional love paired with expectations and boundaries. It’s about guiding children through the complexities of growing up without removing the essential experiences that teach them about life. Of course, no single parenting style is perfect for every child. How you reinforce lighthouse parenting depends entirely on your child’s needs and developmental trajectory. Ultimately, lighthouse parenting aims to prepare children to thrive independently, ensuring they know the way back to shore, no matter how far away they sail.

A Balanced Approach to Raising Independent Children

Among the countless parenting styles out there, an approach called “lighthouse parenting” is a beacon for guiding children through life’s turbulent waters while giving them the space to navigate on their own. While it may sound ideal, is it the right parenting style for your kids? WHAT IS LIGHTHOUSE PARENTING? Coined by Dr. Ken Ginsburg, a professor of pediatrics at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, lighthouse parenting is a philosophy detailed in his book “Raising Kids to Thrive.” This approach emphasizes a balance of nurturing and communicating with children while allowing them the freedom to grow

independently. Just as a lighthouse guides without steering the ship itself, lighthouse parents offer direction and ensure safety without overly controlling their children’s lives. IT ADVOCATES FOR A BALANCED APPROACH . Lighthouse parenting positions itself in the sweet spot on the parenting spectrum — not as overbearing as helicopter parenting nor as detached as free-range parenting. It focuses on being emotionally present and available, providing a safe space for children to bring up issues and learn from their experiences. This method involves:

Celebrate the Past, Seize the Future The Art of Missing While Moving On

Whether your divorce was an amicable parting or a tumultuous tidal wave of disharmony, the fact remains that you may end up missing your former spouse — a lot . Here are three thoughts to consider when your heart drifts down memory lane. EMBRACE THE MOMENTS THAT MATTERED. While a divorce typically represents the end of an important relationship, signing on the dotted line doesn’t mean the marriage was all bad. You may cherish many things and always miss your union with your former spouse — and that’s okay. After all, you likely had many reasons for marrying them in the first place. The emotional rawness of a finalized divorce may tempt you to overlook the special moments the two of you shared. It may be better for your peace of mind to allow these memories to make you smile than discard them under a mountain of bad feelings. ACKNOWLEDGE THE ABSENCE. Getting divorced means parting ways with the person you’d share the details of your day with, who’d accompany you to key life events, and who’d curl up next to you on the couch while watching a movie together. The end of some of these basic routines can be emotionally

distressing for many divorcees. Even if a marriage ends in turmoil,

it’s normal — and by no means a sign of weakness — for one or both spouses to miss the comfort of sharing their daily lives with someone. TURN TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND FUN.

If feelings of nostalgia become too much of an emotional strain and burden on your well-being, spending more time with understanding friends and family members who can help you create new memories can go a long way. Being single again after a long period can be a blow to your confidence and sense of security. But it can also lead you to explore new hobbies or rekindle old interests in ways not possible due to the time commitments of your marriage. While it’s not always healthy to ignore the precious moments of the past, maintaining a clear focus on future happiness can help you stay positive as your post-divorce life evolves.

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