King's Business - 1965-08

T A L K I N G

withDr. Clyde i

Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a nationally known psychologist. He is the director of one of America's largest psychological clinics— The Christian Counseling center in Pasadena, California. GIVING AWAY PUPPIES Q. Several months ago, we accepted a puppy for our five-year-old boy. This past week, the puppy cost us almost $25.00 in veterinary bills, and he still needs shots required by law. Needless to say, this money should have been spent on the children. I f we can find a good home for the dog, what shall we tell our boy by way o f explanation? Will it cause him to lose confidence in us or harm him emotionally? We will appreciate your sugges­ tions. A. This problem comes up quite fre­ quently in our mail, and, of course, it has two sides. First, you need to consider the finances involved in keeping an animal in a home. Many people have never really thought this through. As a result, they’re ^pend­ ing much money on an animal when it could be used to benefit people. I remember so well a woman who was discussing this. “ The dog,” she said, “ doesn’t cost very much.” Her husband bristled and said, “ Yes, it does. That hound costs us a lot!” So they began to figure. They were trimming the dog, feeding it, and so forth. There were veterinary bills, medicines, and licenses. In a year’s time, they spent over $200 on the dog. Quite a price for a poor, strug­ gling family. A Christian who realizes that he is a steward, knows that he is held responsible for the money God gives him, and he wants to be careful how he spends it. You say that this $25.00 should have been spent on the children. Sometimes a good way to spend money on a child is to spend it on a dog. Just so you don’t go to ex­ tremes. A dog might be a good in­

life that I can remember. Do you have any suggestions? A. When a person has had a severe temper all his life and seems not to be able to control it, there may be several causal factors. First, he may not be in good physical health. When a person is in poor physical condi­ tion, he often has trouble with his temper. It may be that you are at a low ebb physically, needing to see a physician. Secondly, you need to take a look at your emotional well being. Experi­ ences in childhood may have caused you to feel insecure, so that you can­ not stand derogatory remarks. If you had counseling sessions with an op­ portunity to understand the causes of your problem, you would feel dif­ ferently and your temper would not give you so much trouble. You may need spiritual help. I don’t know whether you know Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour, or not. God has sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for us, so that we could be saved and so that we could control bad tempers. He can change us greatly. I am sure that all Christians could tell you many things which have changed drastical­ ly since they have been saved. You should consider this seriously. If you have never been bom again, ask Christ to save you, and He will do just that. That is the first step. The second step is to grow in Him after you have come to know the Lord as your Saviour. He says in II Corin­ thians 5:17, “ Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away [that in­ cludes your temper]; behold, all things are become new.” In summary, look at three things: your physical condition, your emo­ tional health, and your spiritual well being. You don’t have to remain the way you are!

vestment as far as affection for the children is concerned. Children can learn much from having a dog and caring for it. A dog can give a child much pleasure. I remember a minis­ ter once saying, “ As a child, the best friend I ever had was a dog. My parents kicked me around and didn’t care for me. But I always had my dog. One of the reasons I’m able to love other people today in the min­ istry is because the dog taught me how. There was a lot of affection between us. It kept me from becom­ ing bitter.” Your child may be so closely at­ tached to this dog that it would be hard for him to give it up. If you do give the dog up — if- that is your decision — then it would be impor­ tant to talk it over with the child so that he understands. Don’t just let the child come home some day and find that you have given up the dog. It is always easier to under­ stand a thing, to accept a situation, if you are prepared for it. But pray about your decision: I imagine the boy will win out! Q. I enjoy your radio broadcast and your writings very much. Would you tell me what I should do with my bad temper? My father and my two sis­ ters have bad tempers, too. When I get mad, I could knock them in the head with whatever / have in my hand. I don’t want to do this, but I feel like I could do it when they make me mad. I don’t like to be picked on. I am 21 years old and not married yet. I don’t want to be an old maid. I want a nice husband. I have had this bad temper all my HOW CAN I HANDLE M Y BAD TEMPER?

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THE KING'S BUSINESS

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