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October 2020
Conquering Real Ghosts Reflections on Halloween and Overcoming Your Fears
Just like any other kid, I loved Halloween. I can remember getting excited with each day that passed during this season as I anticipated all of the candy I could collect. On Halloween night, my sister and I would trick-or-treat for as long as we could, then come home to survey our loot. There’s no other feeling quite like taking inventory of your candy collection after a successful Halloween. And like many kids in my generation, my parents would inspect each piece of candy that night for razor blades or drugs before turning us loose for a sugar high. As an adult, the magic of Halloween seems to be less alluring to me, but for one special person in my life, Halloween will always be just as magical as it was when she was a kid. My wife adores Halloween. Her favorite Halloween movie is “Hocus Pocus.” She always comes up with the best couples’ costume ideas. (One year we were Edward and Bella from “Twilight,” and last year she and her friend dressed up as Hall and Oates.) She even convinced me to dress up as a Care Bear one year! Our Halloween decor is always on point, and every Halloween season, we dress up, go to our favorite karaoke bar, and have a blast as our one-night-only personas.
Personally, I don’t care whether we dress up or stay home, but my wife smiles from ear to ear every year when we celebrate Halloween. As an extreme extrovert, Halloween is the night my wife shines. It’s the best night of the year for her, and her smile makes all the embarrassing costumes worth it. I’d dress up as a Care Bear every year if it would make her happy. (To my wife: Please don’t make me do that.) There are many people who are just like my wife. They love to dress up and indulge in the spooky, scary stories of this season, but for others, real-life horrors are often far scarier than any ghost or goblin in some gore or paranormal flick. At Douglass & Runger, we deal with fear a lot. Nobody ever wants to contact a lawyer, and typically it’s the fear of the dealing with the loss of a loved one, staying with their spouse in an unhealthy and abusive relationship, or paying their medical bills after a car wreck that prompts someone to ask us for help. They have a problem, and they need someone to guide them to a solution. We can’t play the role of a psychologist or therapist for our clients, but we can offer them a guiding light as they navigate this strange and scary time in their lives. I actually read a business book recently that highlights this concept very well. In “Building a StoryBrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen,” Donald Miller writes about the concept of superhero stories. Everyone is the hero in their own story, but they can’t always do it alone. They need a sidekick to help them through some of life’s most difficult situations, like legal trouble. People struggling to start estate planning may fear addressing death or thinking about it. Individuals who want a divorce may worry about making it on their own or how their kids will respond. Regardless of our clients' fears or anxieties, our goal is to guide you, our hero, through the various legal situations you face to ensure you are set up for success. You don't have to face the real-life monsters alone. Every life, every problem, and every fear is different, but the answer is still the same: You have a legal sidekick helping you fight your battles.
We can get over your fear together.
Have a safe and happy Halloween!
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THE BEST HALLOWEEN MOVIES ON DISNEY+
‘Hocus Pocus’
Pop some popcorn and break out the candy corn because it’s time for a spooky family movie night! Disney+ offers a treasure trove of Halloween movies with just the right amount of tricks and treats. Here are a few of the best Halloween movies you can watch on Disney+ right now.
Max and his family have just moved from California to Salem, Massachusetts, when Max accidentally resurrects three evil witches. To save his little sister, Max must team up with his new crush and a talking cat to stop the witches’ reign of terror. “Hocus Pocus” does contain some truly frightening scenes, so it may not be appropriate for young children. However, the way this film balances comedy and humor makes it a perfect Halloween thrill for older kids. These are just a few of the creepy and cool Halloween movies streaming on Disney+. When you’re done with these, scroll through the catalog to find some more new favorites. Happy Halloween!
‘Halloweentown’
When 13-year-old Marnie and her siblings follow their grandmother home on Halloween night, they make some surprising discoveries. Not only does their grandmother live in Halloweentown, a place where monsters lead normal lives, but their whole family is secretly a bunch of witches! Marnie must learn to rely on the magic of family in order to save her grandmother and all of Halloweentown. If your family enjoys “Halloweentown,” you’ll be glad to know that all three of its sequels are also on Disney+!
‘Frankenweenie’
This movie is a charming twist on the classic horror story! When a young boy loses his faithful dog, he uses the power of mad science to bring the pooch back to life. What follows is a strange and heartwarming stop-motion adventure about the love between a boy and his dog. Some scenes may be a little intense for young children, but “Frankenweenie” never becomes too scary for kids to enjoy.
Co-Parenting During a Pandemic
3 TIPS TO SURVIVING THIS SCHOOL YEAR
Tip No. 2: Notify the School
Whether your children are back in school full time or you’re attempting another round of virtual learning, this school year is unprecedented for many reasons. Co-parenting can compound the stressors this pandemic-riddled year introduced into our lives, and for many parents, navigating changing guidelines and proper communication with their ex is like traversing a minefield.
Your child’s school should know about their home situation. It’s very easy for teachers, administration, and the nurse’s office to call the home of nondivorced families, but it’s vital that both parents receive a notification when they are divorced or co-parenting. Parent- teacher conferences, performances, and classroom issues should all be attended by or discussed with both parents. Making sure the school knows about your situation is crucial to ensuring this happens.
It may seem impossible to find peace, but it's not. Avoid disasters with these three tips to surviving this strange school year as a co-parent.
Tip No. 3: Plan for the Worst
Tip No. 1: Find Tech Tools
If you do not have a plan for your child’s schooling to go completely online again or what should happen if they contract COVID-19, you must develop one immediately. A game plan will protect your child and prevent you from getting headaches from panicked planning. Look to your child’s teachers and school administrators for guidance and develop a plan with your child’s other parent before a disaster happens.
In today’s digital world, there’s no reason for you and your ex to go about co-parenting alone. There are many apps that make life as a divorced family much easier. Cozi is a family calendar app that allows each parent to plan their child’s day with color- coded events and lists that keep tasks, to-dos, and items to buy in an organized space. Meanwhile, WeParent was created with psychological research to offer organization and a messaging platform all in one space. Find the app that works for your family, and you’ll find communication is much easier this year.
This school year may be very different than most, but it doesn’t have to be fraught with confusion and anger. If you need legal assistance for co-parenting, call our team today.
Learn more about our other areas of legal expertise online at DouglassRunger.com.
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Uncontested vs. Contested Divorce DO YOU REALLY KNOWWHERE YOUR DIVORCE IS HEADED? At Douglass & Runger, our goal is to always offer the truth. We don’t like to waste time. Our job is to guide clients to the best possible outcome for their situation, and regardless of the case type, we always strive for that result. This goal is also true when it comes to divorce, and we often have to guide our clients past their assumptions. At our firm, it isn’t uncommon for us to receive a phone call from one spouse claiming to need help with an uncontested divorce. As we learn more about the case, we often discover that if the couple continues down this path, their divorce could actually become contested.
Classic Pumpkin Soup
So, what does this all mean? The definitions of a contested and uncontested divorce are actually fairly simple — it’s people that make them complex.
Pumpkins aren’t just for pie — they make delicious soup, too! This fall, try your hand at this healthy soup recipe and warm up with a bowl.
At the most basic level, an uncontested divorce prevents a trial, but for purposes of the process and the cost, an uncontested divorce means that the couple has agreed to and signed a Marital Dissolution Agreement without the necessity of serving a divorce complaint on their spouse. The Marital Dissolution Agreement contains provisions that address the equitable division of the couple’s assets and debts and specifies how these assets and debts are split without any objection. For parties with minor children, an uncontested divorce also means that a Permanent Parenting Plan has been signed by each party prior to filing a divorce complaint. The Permanent Parenting Plan addresses issues related to the minor children. It specifies which parent is the custodial parent, delineates a visitation schedule for the non-custodial parent, and establishes child support. Simply put, a truly uncontested divorce requires the parties to complete these two documents at the outset of the process and without serving a divorce complaint on their spouse. Uncontested divorces provide couples a simple and effective way to divorce relatively inexpensively and with little trouble. However, if there is pushback on any of the terms of the Marital Dissolution Agreement or Permanent Parenting Plan requiring a divorce complaint to be served on the opposing party, that’s when the waters get a little muddy. Under this scenario, the divorce becomes contested. This process involves filing a complaint, serving the other party, and filing various motions before a judge for resolution. More often than not, the parties will engage in litigation and ultimately settle their divorce without having a full-blown trial; however, the divorce litigation process can drag out for months and become expensive fairly quickly, depending on the issues. If your divorce must go to court, an attorney can help you fight for what you believe is right. As stated above, many divorces settle without the necessity of a full-blown trial. Along those lines, mediation is a powerful tool that many attorneys use to offer third-party input on the disputed matters of the divorce while avoiding costly, time-consuming visits to court. In the end, many divorces are resolved without a trial, even if the divorce begins with disputes and some litigation is required to obtain the client’s desired result. Regardless of the specifics of your divorce, our team will help you fight for the justice you deserve. If we can help you with your divorce, or if you need help with any other legal matters, please call us today at 901-388-5805.
INGREDIENTS
• 1 tbsp olive oil • 2 shallots, diced • 3 cloves garlic, minced • 2 1/4 cups pumpkin purée (homemade or canned) • 2 cups vegetable broth • 1 cup canned light coconut milk • 2 tbsp honey
• 1/4 tsp sea salt • 1/4 tsp pepper • 1/4 tsp cinnamon • 1/4 tsp nutmeg
DIRECTIONS
1. In a large saucepan over medium heat, sauté olive oil, shallots, and garlic for 2–3 minutes. 2. Add the remaining ingredients and bring to a simmer. 3. Transfer the soup to a blender and purée. Pour the blended soup back into the pan. 4. Cook over medium-low heat for 5–10 minutes. Taste and add additional seasoning as desired, then serve! Inspired by MinimalistBaker.com
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Inside This Issue
1
‘I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost’: Don’t Fear Real‑Life Monsters With Our Help!
2
Family-Friendly Halloween Movies You Can Watch Tonight! 3 Ways to Rule the School Year as a Co-Parent
3
Is My Divorce Contested or Uncontested? Classic Pumpkin Soup
4
When ‘Star Wars’ Invaded Halloween
THE SPOOKY ‘STAR WARS’ SHORTAGE OF 1977
A long time ago … in October of 1977 to be exact, Halloween was fast approaching and many parents faced a major dilemma. That year, kids didn’t want to go trick-or-treating dressed as vampires, witches, or ghosts. The classic costumes simply wouldn’t do. That Halloween, almost every child in the United States wanted to dress as their favorite character from the new hit movie, “Star Wars.” Today, you can walk into a Halloween City on Oct. 30 and easily pick up a costume for Rey, Darth Vader, or Princess Leia. But in 1977, less than five months after the release of the first movie in the popular franchise, getting your hands on “Star Wars” merchandise was a bit more difficult. Ben Cooper, a costume company in Brooklyn, had the foresight to license “Star Wars” for costumes right after the movie came out. Unfortunately, they didn’t foresee how great the demand for these costumes would be.
Retailers across the country were selling out of “Star Wars” costumes as fast as they came in. Some stores reported selling more “Star Wars” costumes than pumpkins. Kids who got their hands on an authentic Han Solo or C-3PO costume were considered lucky. But kids who arrived at the store to find the costume shelves empty didn’t throw in the towel. Instead, they went and found some brown towels to make their own Chewbacca costumes. In the current age of cosplay, homemade costumes based on movie characters are commonplace, but in 1977, this was uncharted territory. Kids searched for white dresses to be Princess Leia and bathrobes they could cut short to mimic Luke Skywalker. Moms everywhere broke out their sewing machines and created costumes using only action figures for reference. It was grueling work, but it showed how much kids wanted to spend Halloween in a galaxy far, far away.
The “Star Wars” costume shortage marked a new era for Halloween — one where making your own costume was just as cool, if not better, than buying it.
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