Listening, Revisited (Core Competencies: 1.1; 1.4; 1.11; 4.6)
Thus far, the exploration process has featured the skill of open questions for drawing out the peer’s thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and values. Indeed, a purposeful open question invites people to share about their life. Upon hearing a peer’s story, there can be a tendency to want to gather facts about a problem (who, when, where), engage in analysis and problem-solving, or offer advice and solutions. While such responses may be appropriate in different roles or settings, the challenge for a certified peer specialist is to stay curious as a listener and to center connection in the peer relationship. The desire to problem-solve can unintentionally limit the peer’s willingness to continue sharing or place the certified peer specialist in a perceived expert role. Reflective listening is a powerful way to avoid these potential roadblocks during exploration. Reflective listening fosters peer sharing because when a peer feels listened to, heard, and understood, safety and trust is developed. As safety and trust develop, the peer is more likely to become vulnerable, open up, and discuss the difficult challenges. Skillful reflective listening by a certified peer specialist sends the message: “I want to understand your experience because I trust that you have what you need within yourself.”
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