you’re able to practice self-care, that’s great. Just don’t forget about the people around you. No matter how privileged we are, we still need human connection. We still need to give and receive love. Here are five ways to shift your thinking to community care, considering the needs of your family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, group members, and others you interact with on a regular basis. • Check-in regularly: In many cultures, it’s a norm to open conversations and even transactions with “How are you?”. It’s a question asked quickly and automatically, often without waiting for an answer. Instead of asking people how they’re doing, clearly state that you’re checking in with them. One way to do this is by saying, “Hi, I wanted to check in with you. How are you feeling?”. If you know the person is particularly overwhelmed or having a difficult time, you may want to be specific. You can say: “Hey, I know you’re working from home and taking care of your grandmother. How are you managing?” You can also ask people if they’re finding time to do anything other than work. If you can’t help, you can show moral support. If you’re able to help, you can make an offer. • Empathize: We sometimes experience similar circumstances. While socioeconomic status and demographics change the way we navigate these circumstances, there are universal elements to every challenge. Working with the same difficult co- worker, having no help with childcare, or being in quarantine, are all frustrating issues you may not be able to change—but you can talk about it. Empathy is not the same as dwelling on an issue, and it’s not about feeling bad for someone. Empathy is understanding and feeling what someone else is feeling. It’s a way to validate someone’s thoughts and feelings and to let them know they’re seen. Part of being in a community is acknowledging difficulties as much as we celebrate achievements. This makes it okay to experience both the ups and downs of being human. • Make a specific offer: We can often intuit when other people are having a difficult time. When we’re able, most of us like to help. One of the failings of self-care is that it’s difficult to pinpoint what you need when you need it the most. When someone says, “Let me know how I can help,” we understand it as a kind gesture. Still, it often ends there because we’re burdened with the self-assessment and solution- building process. A part of community care is assessing what others may need, offering to provide it, and following through when the offer is accepted. Instead of vaguely telling someone you’re willing to help, anticipate their needs and make an offer. Ask if you can deliver a meal for their family, do their grocery shopping, fix the leaking sink, draft the email they’re struggling to send, or create a playlist with feel- good music. If you’re checking in regularly or you’ve spent time empathizing, you’ll know what to do.
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