Responding to Anger in Peer Support (Core Competencies: 1.4; 1.6; 1.9; 2.2; 2.5; 2.7; 2.8; 3.2; 3.3; 3.5; 3.7; 4.2; 4.4; 4.6; 4.7; 4.8; 4.9; 4.15; 4.17) Consider these elements of providing peer support in response to a peer’s expression of anger. • Stay calm and be present. o Practice deep breathing or sensory strategies. o Use nonthreatening nonverbals. o Speak calmly with neutral tone. o Practice self-affirmation: Do not take the person's anger personally. • Deepen connection o Listen carefully for understanding and offer many reflections: come alongside, validate, and reflect the feeling of anger. o Consider underlying meaning: what might be under the tip of the iceberg? Make educated guesses about underlying meaning and emotions. o Allow pause and silence for the peer to respond. o Share a relevant aspect of your recovery, with permission, that the peer may find relatable. • Deepen exploration. o Reframe anger as an opportunity to explore. o Look for and affirm the peer's strengths that underlie the expression of anger. o Explore how the peer’s values may be informing a response of anger, as well as potential value clashes that are taking place. • Model a holistic understanding of boundaries while meeting people where they are at. o Be aware of personal space and boundaries. o Recognize when a boundary is crossed, as well as, when it may be a time to connect deeper. o Explore how any biases, whether conscious or not, may be impacting your response to anger as well as your understanding of boundaries.
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