Listening Roadblocks Cheat Sheet These are the roadblocks to listening. • Directing: telling people what they need to do o You must face up to reality. o You must do something about this situation. • Warning: pointing out the risks or dangers of what a person is doing o If you do, you will regret it. o You must stop, or else! • Advising: making suggestions, providing solutions o Here is what I would do if I were you… o Have you thought about… • Persuading: providing reasons or attempting to convince with logic o It is the right thing to do and here’s why… o Now let’s think this through. The facts are… • Agreeing: taking the person’s side, approving, praising o Yes, you are right. o That is exactly what I would do. o Good for you! • Analyzing: explaining what the person is doing or saying o Do you know what the real problem is? • Probing: asking questions to get information or to gather facts o When did you first realize that? o What makes you feel that way? • Reassuring: consoling people o Everything will be okay. o This will work out. • Sympathizing: feeling pity or sorrow for people o I am so sorry to hear this. o I am sad about your situation. o Well, at least it is not as bad as _________. • Distracting: using humor, changing the subject, or withdrawing
o That reminds me of this joke… o Let’s talk about something else.
FURTHER READING: Miller W.R. (2018). Listening well: The art of empathic understanding . Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock.
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