our children, consciously or unconsciously, as means of extending the expression of our own per sonalities. It ought to be remembered that each child has a unique personality which needs to find its own expression and development. Secondly, we realize that we stand as God to them whilst they are small. This fills us with an overwhelming sense of responsibility and we turn again to the Lord Jesus’ promise of 2 Corinthians 12:9 with great gratitude. We realize that we can not expect the children’s lives to be better or holier than our own, and we find this a tremendous en couragement to greater Christlikeness in our daily lives. We hope that our children will always find us approachable: we covet that God-like quality, of always being the same, so that the children will not feel, “Oh, I can’t go and talk to Daddy today; he is in one of his moods.” We long to keep Sunday as the best day of the week — a day when there is time and leisure to laugh and play together, and when together as a family we shall look forward to worshipping our Heavenly Father in church. We keep the best toys for Sunday and want it to be the happiest of days. In the third place, we try hard to remember what it was like to be children ourselves. It wasn’t so long ago, but already we find it difficult to put ourselves in their position. However, we are trying to remember, for we want to “ sit where they sit” and to be really understanding parents. Though our children are only small, we have already learned how easy it is to yield to the temp tation to spoil them. On the other hand, we try to avoid the rigid enforcement of rules laid down for our own convenience rather than the child’s good. It is not weakness to change one’s mind or alter a decision over an unimportant point; indeed, to be flexible and reasonable can often give strength and purpose to one’s firm general principles. It is our aim by careful thought to maintain high standards without being forced into painful and certainly unhelpful battles over small and relatively unim portant things. We strive for happy living with our children which is as much for them as it is for us; and we try to be reasonable as well as firm, and believe it is possible to be both! We have learned more than we shall probably ever realize from our own parents in these matters and we long that in turn our own children shall profit by our experience. In all the joy and happiness of marriage, a Christian couple does well to remember that God is faithful to His promises. He is faithful in supply ing our needs, in giving strength, in filling us with love—all this we rejoice in. It is less easy to rejoice in the fact that our Heavenly Father will give us suffering and sorrow. That He gives suffering for
increasing urge for a baby. How happy we are that we had learned to get adjusted and shaken down together on many levels before our first baby was born! Yet what indescribable and undreamed-of happiness our three small children have brought to us! Should we have further children, we some times feel we shall burst with all the joy and hap piness we have been given! But it is often of great benefit both to husband and wife, and to the marriage, to plan to wait for a year or more before the wife becomes pregnant. A girl often feels elated and happy when she is pregnant, and at these times there is the cheering prospect o f a little baby. But there may be times, apart from the well-known disability o f nausea which many experience early, when she feels unlike her usual self. She may be moody, and occasionally be easily moved to tears, and in little ways she will probably be less easy to understand and live with from time to time. She sometimes feels depressed and tires more easily, and even when everything in her pregnancy is going smoothly, she is often un settled. Thus, if a couple have only just got mar ried it is much harder for both of them, and par ticularly for the husband, to grow together in one ness and understanding. Of course these feelings in a pregnancy are by no means universal, and many women feel as fit as fiddles. Moods change easily, too, after the baby has been bom, but for some weeks afterwards, even amidst countless joy and thrills of the new baby, the mother may feel depressed from time to time, and particularly while the baby still wakes in the night. Extra patience and understanding are needed by both husband and wife as both probably will be tired; but this weari ness is more than compensated for by the joy which the new baby brings, and once feedings have been established and the baby sleeps through the night, everything becomes increasingly easy. It is, therefore, of real value to many marriages for husband and wife to settle down with each oth er and to feel really grounded in their mutual love and understanding, before they first expect a baby. Obviously the coming of children radically trans forms the home. Here, because ours are still young, we feel ill-equipped and lacking in experi ence to offer more than the most tentative advice to parents. Yet perhaps we can say something. First, we have accepted our children as God’s good gifts to us, to be brought up for Him until the day when they will become independent and spread their wings and leave the nest. How we shall long to keep them with us for ever, but how essential to realize that we are stewards and not owners, and therefore that we must give them every encourage ment to launch out on their own! It is necessary to check the natural tendency in many of us to use
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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