TALKING IT OVER with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, Now York City, is a nationally known psychologist. Ho is the director of one of America's
Q. I am a high school girl vrith lots of problems. It seems as though my family and I just can’t get along. My parents never trust me. I’U be seven teen this year and they still treat me like a baby. They even open my mail and read it. They always want to know to whom I am writing or from whom I get letters. When I buy clothing with my own money, they won’t let me get it unless they like it. I am also having trouble in one of my subjects at school. Right now my father can’t find any work, so we have no money coming in. Be cause of this, they always take it out on me. What can I do? A. This is more than a simple prob lem of just how to get along with parents. There is something that both you and your parents need to do to understand each other. I f you cannot calmly sit down together and talk over their feelings and attitudes, then they should go to a pastor or a professional Christian counselor for help. You need to understand that the problem of unemployment for your father is larger than just not having enough money. Something happens inside of a man when he realizes he cannot get work. He begins to feel that society has rejected him. His self-confidence takes a plunge and often depression sets in. His nerves are on edge, and his reactions reflect his problems far more than he himself realizes. Also, when a parent is old enough to have a 17- year-old daughter, he is usually in his late 30’s, or 40’s or 50’s. Such a man or woman needs much under standing from their children. A ma ture teenager will think about the •needs of his father and mother. This will prove that he is growing up— that he is maturing. I f he rejects his parents, and their authority, and refuses to communicate with them, he is showing his immaturity. As a teenager, you will not prove that you are growing up by establishing a battle line. The one commandment with a promise added is: “ Regard (treat with honor, due obedience and courtesy) your fa-
largest psychological clinics— Tho Christian Counseling cantor in Rosemead, California.
ther and mother, that your days may be long in the land the Lord your God gives you” (Exodus 20: 12 Amplified Version). There are several things for par ents to consider. By the time a young lady is seventeen she is almost grown. The ability to think and catch on and to understand is just about as great for a 17-year-old as it is for an adult. Consequently, par ents can no longer work with such a young person as though she were a child. Continue to bathe your young peo ple in prayer and trust God to take over when they are out of sight. Parents need to be loved, and un derstood. Children and young people need to be loved, and what’s more, they need to be told they are loved. It’s the everyday courtesies, thought fulness and understanding that help establish a rapport between parents and young people. As you, and your parents call upon the Lord, He will supply the grace and strength that is needed. Q. Since the Lord caused me to sur render to His will completely over ten years ago, I have taken the stand that He is my peace. I f we put our complete trust and faith in Christ, we will have a continuous and joyous peace no matter what the storms of life may bring. I take the attitude that only in Him are we overcomers. 1 believe in the comfort and healing power found in the Word, and feel that nervous breakdowns and mental collapse are out of the question for a true Christian. A. There are excellent truths ex pressed in your letter. Christ is our peace. If we want peace in our lives, we must have the Lord Jesus Christ in our hearts, and our will surrend CAN CHRISTIANS HAVE NERVOUS BREAKDOWNS?
ered to His will. In the last part of your letter, however, you express a fallacy shared by many Christian people — that nervous breakdowns and mental col lapse are out of the question for a true Christian. I understand what you mean, and I can see your point of view, but it is erroneous. If we were just spirit, we would never have any breakdowns. But as long as we have bodies, and emo tions, feels and psyches, we are sus ceptible to physical problems and mental and emotional problems. Consider, for example, the person who did not know Christ until he was grown, say 20 or 30 years of age. He has had 20 or 30 years of backlog of all kinds of experiences. There may have been serious emo tional needs that were never met in his life. God does not promise any where in His Word that He will take away the scars; therefore into our new Christian lives we carry over the scars of our old lives. It is true that our past sins are under the blood of Christ and we experience a wonderful sense of freedom a n d peace when we come to Him, but so long as we are in this flesh our past is not eradicated and can be inter twined with present a n d future events which may overpower the mind and emotions, and can for some result in a nervous breakdown. We can no more claim to be im mune to emotional problems than we can to physical disease. Until our bodies have put on incorruption and immortality, we are subject to sin, disease, problems and death. Praise God, some day we shall be redeemed from its very presence . . . “ then shall be brought to pass the saying, death is swallowed up in victory.” Until then, we share with all hu man beings the lot of suffering, whether in the form of physical or emotional illness.
THE KING'S BUSINESS
32
Made with FlippingBook - Online catalogs