WHY DO WE SAY, ‘WHAT?’ EVEN WHEN WE HEARD IT?
TIPS TO SKIP THE ‘WHAT?’ REFLEX Here’s how you can avoid those unnecessary “Whats” and keep conversations flowing: 1. Pause Before Responding Instead of firing off a knee-jerk, “What?” take a second to process. 2. Focus Your Attention Sometimes the, “What?” happens because you’re distracted. Put your phone down, make eye contact, and tune in. 3. Be Honest (Sometimes) If you truly missed what they said, it’s OK to say, “I missed that — can you say it again?” It’s more thoughtful than a reflexive, “What?” and shows you value the conversation. Remember, communication isn’t just about what’s said; it’s about how it’s heard. So, the next time you feel a, “What?” coming, pause for a moment. You might realize you already have the answer!
You’ve been there. Someone says something, and before you even think about it, you blurt out, “What?” But just as they start to repeat themselves, your brain suddenly catches up, and — boom! — you’re talking over them and answering the question they asked. I recently listened to a podcast that discussed this phenomenon. When you hear a sound, your brain temporarily stores it in an “echoic memory,” which lasts two to four seconds. However, it takes a little while for your brain to process the sounds after you hear them. This little hiccup happens because your brain sometimes takes a second longer to process what you just heard, or even to decide if they’re worth processing. Was someone talking to you, or was that just background noise? Think of it as your mental gears spinning before locking into place. But while your brain catches up, your reflex to say, “What?” jumps the gun.
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