Dr. Clyde M. Narramore, graduate of Columbia Uni versity, New York City, is psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in America.
and gets several demerits and makes C’s and D’s. A t times he is defiant to his parents. Recently he was caught at school with “stogies” in his pocket, which he was keeping for a friend. He told me about it before anybody else had a chance to report it to me. When I asked him about it, he said, “I am so stupid, Mama. How could I let that guy persuade me to do it?” He tells me he really wants to be a good Christian boy. When I re minded him that I love him as much as his older brother and sister who are outstanding Christian young peo ple, he said, “I know you do, Mama. When I say that you don’t love me, well, I am just not thinking straight.” What are your suggestions? A. It is interesting to note in your letter that your son’s older brother and sister are both outstanding Chris tians, preparing for full-time Chris tian service. Since you and your hus band are both Christians, you no doubt have sufficient spiritual insight to understand the spiritual problems which may exist. However, there may be a number of other reasons why your boy is maladjusted. The causes may be physical, intellectual, social or emo tional. Many children would make a good adjustment in life except for the fact that they have a physical difficulty which prevents them from doing any better than they do. It is my suggestion that you make a request of your local school prin cipal to have a conference with your school psychologist. No doubt the psychologist will be happy to make a complete case study of your son, administering several good standard ized tests. Then the psychologist will share his findings with you. The best way to understand a person is to study him, and I suspect that your boy needs this kind of professional help. This specialized service from your public school is, of course, free.
take time to show him how to use his toys. If you do not do this he will certainly figure out some way of amusing himself with his toys and very often it will be destructive. If you had shown your boy how to use crayons and had taken time to help him use color books or large sheets of paper, your walls and furniture would not have been marked up. Children enjoy using toys the right way, but it does take constant train ing (and much time) on the part of the parents: W h a t To B o Q. Is there any help for a peculiar condition in an older man, in that he seems to be especially attracted to very young girls? He has an un seemly desire for little girls from about four to nine years of age. I believe he neither fully realizes this condition in himself, nor has con trol over it. We must find help for him, and a solution to this problem somewhere. Can you refer me to some reliable source for help on this mat ter? A. Undoubtedly, there are psycho logical causes for this behavior. I would suggest that you or someone talk with him kindly about the mat ter, encouraging him to see a psy chiatrist. A psychiatrist can discover the physical and psychological causes which prompt such actions. Actually, there are quite a number of people like this man you mention, and there is help for them. Of course, he needs spiritual coun sel too. This is of utmost importance. I feel certain that almost any well- trained psychiatrist would be happy to share his findings with the man’s pastor, who in turn can work with the man more effectively. Bad B og Q. I am writing because I need help with my 12-year-old son. He is in the sixth grade and he could make all A’s but he just “horses around”
Snahes Q. Please explain what our attitude should be toward snakes and playing with them. We read that the snake was cursed of God and that man would hate it. 1 have been taught from childhood that it is to be avoid ed because of the curse on the snake. Vve even heard it said that playing with snakes is playing with the devil. However, among my friends there are those who believe that I’m absolutely wrong and it can be kept as a pet. They have been used by some for the fun of scaring people. I have voiced my opinion and have been ridiculed about this. Please dis cuss this matter so I may get new light on the subject. A. In this matter, as in all others, I think we need to be mature and take a realistic, adult attitude. It seems as though you may have had some unsound teaching in your childhood. There is generally a natural dread of snakes, even though a person has never been taught about them. To the Christian, snakes are probably a reminder of the serpent that was used to beguile Eve. Too, we know that the serpent was cursed above all cattle and above every beast of the field. Of course caution should be exercised against all things that are dangerous, but neither is it desirable to have an excessive fear of them. Learn ing to P la y Q. Our greatest problem with our little boy is getting him to play with his toys. He doesn’t pay much atten tion to them. Even when he does play with them he is very destructive. Not long ago I bought him some crayons and that evening I found marks all over the wallpaper and furniture. He seems to delight in taking toys apart and breaking them. A. You cannot take for granted that a child knows how to play with each new toy that you give him. As a parent it is your responsibility to
27
S E P T E M B E R , 1 9 5 5
Made with FlippingBook - Online catalogs