A solitary past Randle grew up without many friends or family members with whom she felt close. Her relationship with her mother was always strained and her father had passed away years before. Due to her mother’s neglect, she and her sister were forced to stay with family members who would abuse the young girls. Her childhood became filled with physical, mental and sexual traumas. After losing her sister, Randle became even more isolated. Her addiction to opioids took her deeper into her seclusion and she used it as a way to cope with the pain of her loss. “It was hard on me to not have any support, not even from my mom,” Randle says. “You need your parent at that age and don’t understand yet that not everybody knows how to be a mother.” The drugs took over most of Randle’s adult life. She continued to use even as she raised her six children until they were eventually taken away from her. Losing her children was what motivated her to enter Family Recovery Program in 2011. She graduated from the program in 2012 but had to find housing before getting her children back. Randle struggled to afford the new living arrangements and support her family, eventually leading to a relapse. “That was a hard time for me,” she says. “I was in and out of treatment again. During my fifth time in 2014, I ran into Dr. Gainers and she pushed me to attend the alumni meetings. Those changed everything.”
Growing bonds The alumni meetings provided Randle with the support she had been looking for. She’s now been clean for two years and serves as the lead parent mentor for the center, doing client assessments and referrals. Working with other parents who have substance abuse problems has helped her understand her own situation better, especially as a mother. “My kids might have felt like they were on their own at times, but I always tried to be a good mother. Children who are dealing with their parents’ addiction usually grow up faster. They feel like they have to take care of themselves because that’s what they have been doing,” Randle says. Randle uses her personal experiences to help parents understand the shifting dynamic between child and parent when the adult is using. Because parents feel guilty about their situation, children can gain too much control in the relationship. It’s important for parents to maintain authority even as they go through the recovery process. She wants every parent to know it is possible to create a better life and stronger bond with their children. “That’s our goal. Everybody here is willing to go above and beyond for every client to reach a better life. I know I am,” she says. “After everything I’ve been through, I’ve realized I’m still alive and maybe I’m supposed to help someone else now.”
“Children who are dealing with their parents’ addiction usually grow up faster.” -Rita Randle
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