t u r f t a l k
Win or Lose, Play with Character b y To m F i t z p a t r i c k
J im Loehr, founder of the J&J Human Performance Institute and sports psychologist, spoke to a group of coaches recently. Jim has worked extensively with top tennis, golf, and corporate stars. He shared his 30 years of research with us below. We’ve been duped into believing that achievement is the be all, end all goal. If we achieve great things in life, we are going to be happy. Jim Loehr found that athletes ranked #1 felt extremely unhappy, dissatisfied, and empty inside. They found it difficult to simply feel good about themselves. A common theme to overcome this feeling was to achieve more, win more titles, which led to even more emptiness. If they could become a superstar all over again that might overcome it. Instead, they still felt somewhat empty inside. We’ve been taught to believe that external achieve- ments drive confidence, fulfillment, and meaning to our lives. In fact, the J & J Human Performance Institute found that there is no evidence to support that achieving external success brings internal happiness. Going after external goals does drive a sense of excitement and energy but in and of themselves, they are not that fulfilling. Achievement should instead be based upon being something much greater than serving personal self-interests. Build your character to be a more committed person to causes greater than yourself. When Andre Agassi re-purposed his tennis career to serve the needs of young people and build a charter school, a transformation took place. He was told that be- ing ranked #1 with titles behind his name was a great thing; but it didn’t give him what he had hoped for in terms of satisfaction. The repurposing allowed him to work harder and with more determination than before. So, when he achieved #1 in the world again the happi- ness that he was looking for started to come. Let’s get the reason for our achievements correct so that we can become extraordinary human beings of great character. Avoid the roadblocks of low and overly high self-esteem. Let the treatment and concern for others grow so something magical in our lives can happen.
The Human Performance Institute studied a group of young athletes and found that the #1 reason for working so hard was actually to be a better, more character driven person. Each day they would pick a virtue and work on it in the context of sport and competition. These virtues included sportsmanship, honesty, kindness, humility, and moral character. The result was the athletes became extraordinary achievers. They also found that their personal growth wasn’t linked to success in tournaments. They weren’t afraid to lose because if they did it gave them a chance to work on resiliently handling rough outcomes. Everything was put in the context of trying to become a better human being. Who you are as a person is more important than who you are as a competitor. There is a distinction between performance charac- ter and ethical character. You can be a great performer but be a zero in your moral and ethical character if you are taking shortcuts to be a winner at all costs. And this applies in business as well as in sports. The highest level of inner strength that a person has is found in how they treat other people, gratefulness, and compassion. You would think these traits are at the opposite of the spec- trum from winning. But in fact, Loehr found that treat- ing other people nicely was at the heart of believing in yourself and feeling good about yourself so that you are a real force in any competitive battle. The moral character is the highest form of health that we can have and can help us achieve sustained success in anything we do.
Jim Loehr and Tom Fitzpatrick
Going after external goals does drive a sense of excitement and energy but in and of themselves, they are not that fulfilling.
Tom Fitzpatrick is a David Leadbetter certified instructor and an active realtor with Scenic Sotheby’s Intl Realty. Contact him at (850) 225- 4674 or tom@scenicsir.com
Tom Fitzpatrick
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