FATHER? by He l e n F r a z e e - B owe r
does anyone remember
much who does not assume it. Every child needs not only the tenderness and comfort of a mother’s loving ministry, he needs also the strength and authority in vested in a good father. Indeed, how is he ever to learn the true meaning of the scriptural term, “ Our Father”— that sublime combination of intimacy and reverence— unless he has come to associate the words first with an earthly father? The rapid pace of modem living does much to dis rupt family life; but there is a way back—the way of the family altar, presided over by Father himself. It only takes a few minutes, but it is investment for eternity. Even in homes where spiritual training is emphasized, much of it is often left to Mother. She is the one who reads the Bible stories and listens to the prayers. Many children never hear Father pray. Who can estimate what it can mean to children to have a man in the house who talks to God; to have the one who represents authority, to them, humble himself in their presence and bow be fore the Supreme Authority? They would grow up with the idea that religion is not merely for women and chil dren: it is for strong men as well. In my childhood home it was Father who opened the Good Book in the evening; it was Father who asked the blessing upon*our daily food. One austere phrase from those prayers lingers with me yet: “forgive us our sins of omission and commission.” As a child I had no idea what those big words meant, but humbly I bowed my head and asked God to keep me from such things—for they sounded terrible to me! It was years before I realized how completely Father had covered the field of human failure in that one brief phrase; but it served to inspire me with a wholesome fear of sin that I have never been quite able to get away from. Perhaps our zeal for the democratic way of life and our fear of dictatorship have caused some to think of Dad as a despot and tried to dethrone him. He may have abdi cated the responsibility of leadership since it seemed too great. In any case, there is a woeful lack of filial piety in many homes today. I am told, in some Latin American countries the children are taught to rise when the father enters the room. This may seem a bit too autocratic; but it would certainly be a nice gesture if someone would at least vacate Father’s special chair and let him sit down when he arrives! Perhaps putting out the house slippers, and the evening paper, may seem a bit servile for this generation; but it would be a fine thing to stop activity long enough to greet Father when he arrives and make him feel that this is a moment for which we have been waiting. To reinstate Father may exact something from each of us, even from him; for, after all, respect and prestige cannot be demanded, they must be commanded. On special occasions we so often hear the words, “I never know' what to give Dad.” Would it not be a good thing to give him back his rightful place in the home? And would it not be a good thing to accept it, Father?
n pH E words “ I remember Mama” are more than a JL phrase borrowed from a popular piece of fiction. They are also an expression of a reasonably - general human experience. It is a rare child indeed who does not carry into maturity an accurate picture of Mother in the home, a nostalgic memory that colors a great many of the experi ences of life’s later years. How often one hears the phrase, “Were it not for Mother’s prayers . . . ” A fine thing, to be sure. But I find myself wanting to ask, “What about Father? Does anyone remember Father?” This is not a facetious statement. It is an honest ques tion arising from a very real concern over something which seems to have happened to a great many fathers within the space of my own lifetime. It would seem that Father has to some extent become a fringer in the family group, an outsider in the home which he provides. Per haps this has grown out of .the popular conception that divides parents into two categories: Mother, the home maker; and Father, the breadwinner. This ought not to be. The two tasks cannot be divided. They are each a part of one and the same thing. Just as Mother has a share in the breadwinning, because she “ tarrieth by the stuff,” as the Bible puts it; so Father has a vital part in the homemaking—because he “ goeth down to the battle.” Just how Father became relegated to the rank of mere provider, and just who has been responsible for it, might be difficult to determine. No doubt we have all had some part in it, including Dad himself. The pressures of life being what they are, it is easy for a man to become so involved in forging ahead in his business, or profession, that he has little time or energy to devote to family life. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, is the knowledge that what he is doing is “ all for them” anyway. He is so right too! That is the unfortunate part of it. In life so many correct facts can lead to unfortunate conclusions. A ll this affects Mother’s attitude. A little overwhelmed by the endless round of household tasks, and a little lonely for the man she married, but who now seems to be wedded to his work, she is apt to concentrate on the children as compensation. Gradually she may even come to think of them as largely “ her children”—except when she needs to fall back upon Father for discipline. Thus, the first two steps have been taken toward Father’s di minishing role in the family circle. It is probably true that many broken homes have been the result of just such an innocent beginning. In its more far-reaching consequences such be the case, and there is always the regrettable fact that children are growing up today with no very clear notion of Father’s true place in the home. They are not seeing in proper perspective the man who labors so hard to give them life’s necessities. God would not have it so. He has appointed man to be the head of the household: the guardian of spiritual things as well as temporal. A child misses much who does not see his father in this role; and the father misses
JUNE, I960
11
Made with FlippingBook - professional solution for displaying marketing and sales documents online