“ Wives, submit yourselves unto your own hus bands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Col. 3:18-21
some face will be different twenty years from now. Time and care make many changes. The beauty which can make your life happy to th'e end is deeper than fair skin, soft hands, and a beautiful physique and silken hair. The hidden beauty of a quiet spirit, a loving disposition, an understanding heart, are not immediately apparent on the outside. When the storms have scarred the tree, and the sands of time have almost run out, there will be a beauty then which remains, firm, imperishable and true, which is of great price. Listen to Peter’s advice in 1 Peter 3:1-4: “ Likewise, y e wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word'be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Finally, be y e all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.” I Peter 3:1-4, 7-8 Here, indeed, is a bit of advice that might well be studied and memorized by all husbands and wives. One more bit of advice. Pray much together about your proposed marriage. Let me repeat that. Pray much, and pray often, about your proposed marriage. If you as Christians considering marriage cannot pray about your marriage together, you simply don’t belong together. But now suppose you have observed the rules that I have tried to give you, and you have been Scripturally married, not too young, not in haste, after much prayer together. Now what is the course to follow. Very simply, let me give you a few very definite rules. Remember, though you are Scripturally united, you are still two different personalities. You are still different, and must learn to grow into each other’s lives and become united as one. There will be differences, but they will disappear if you will only follow these rules: 1. Begin your home life with God. After the wedding is over and you are alone, immediately build a family altar and keep it in repair. Each day when possible begin the day with prayer and the Word of God together. At the close of the day assemble the family for prayer and for the reading of the Bible. Families who pray together, stay together. That statement can bear repeating. Families who pray together, always stay together. Make Jesus Your Pattern Rule No. 2 for happiness is: Make Jesus the pattern in all your relationships. He sought not His own, but always the other’s good. He found His happiness in making others (concluded on next page)
Incompatability The second warning before you marry is the matter of mixed marriage. One of the commonest reasons given for divorce in our courts is incompatability, by which they mean a clash of personalities, differences of views on religion and morals. But the incompatability did not arise after marriage; it was already present before mar riage and should have been recognized before the clash in personalities resulted. The avoidance of hasty'marriages, going slow, would have revealed these incompatible qual ities before the damage had been done. Differences of temperament and tastes, differences of race and habits, differences of religion, often blossom into broken homes and all of its resultant disasters. In general, marriage should be on one’s own level as far as possible, on a com mon agreement on both religion and faith. Inter-marriage between different faiths is a dangerous practice unless both are willing to submit themselves entirely to the Word of God. We hear a great deal about tolerance of different faiths and religions and classes today. It has become the subject of a great deal of intensive propaganda. All of this may be fine, and we have no objection to it, as far as society is concerned and business, in the matter of recreation and social intercourse, but marriage is quite a different thing. Tolerance is a fine thing in its place, but husbands and wives should never tolerate one another. Tolerance is not the answer in the marriage relationship. By tolerance we simply mean that we are willing to endure and put up with things in others which we don’t like about them at all, but we are willing to just overlook and tolerate these differences, for the good of all. Now this, of course, may sound fine, but it cannot work in the marriage rela tionship. If my wife and I simply tolerate one another, we may get along for a while in this way, but sooner or later, bang!, tolerance ceases to be a virtue. Tolerance is not the answer. Love is the only solution to the prob lem. The world preaches tolerance, but Christ enjoins love. If you merely decide to tolerate one another’s reli gious differences, it is never going to work. Unless you are willing to give up, in love,'mutually, your differences and be fully agreed in this most important matter, only misery can result. Agreeing to tolerate one another you may say, “ You go to your own church, and I’ll go to mine.” This sounds fine,, but it is a hopeless dream. How can two walk together except they be agreed? Much less, how can two live together and raise a family together, and worship together, except they be agreed? Avoid mixed marriages. You can love your neighbor in spite" of his different faith, but you don’t have to marry his daughter. Look for Quality A third bit of advice in addition to the warning against hasty marriages and mixed marriages is this. Look for spiritual qualities, not mere physical beauty and appeal. Remember you have to live together a long time, and a pretty face may be nice to look at, but physical beauty is only skin deep. That pretty face is going to change after a while. Those square shoulders and that masculine, hand
JUNE, 1960
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