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The Christian Home By Rev. Paul Bayles
E verybody loves a wedding! June is the month for beautiful brides and exciting weddings. Probably the most beautiful wedding ceremony ever held was the one in Eden. God created Adam, called him a masterpiece, and gave him a vocation and a fresh, crisp, wonderful world in which to live. Just how long Adam served God alone we don’t know, but something was miss ing. Have you ever wondered what Adam was doing when God saw that he was lonely. Perhaps he was in volved in a losing battle with house keeping. Whatever the cause for this loneliness, God came to his rescue by fashioning a partner suitable for him. God still knows what kind of a partner a man needs, and He wants to be consulted in the selection. We need God’s help in selecting a life partner because the reasons that we give for marrying the one we do marry are often very unreal. In times past, mates were brought together by a third party, usually the parents. It is imagined today that modern Amer ican youth has complete “ freedom” to choose their own husbands and wives, but this is an illusion. Actually, modern young people have little more romantic freedom and much less success than did their an cestors whose parents did the select ing. Since this is true, why not allow God to help you choose? He knows your deepest needs, and He under stands your unconscious motives. You ask, “ But how can I know God’s will for my marriage?” The story of Adam doesn’t give too much help at this point. God put him to sleep and when he awoke he was married! This also describes modem romantic love. It leaves young people in a state of intoxication, greatly reducing their efficiency in thinking through their feelings. Romantic love produces un real feelings and causes each to purr, “ Dear, you’re the only one for me.” Actually, Adam was the only one who could look at his girl and truthfully say that! Therefore, Adam’s situation differs from ours today and his “ deep sleep” didn’t cause him the trouble that “ romantic love” brings to modem youth. Romance isn’t bad. It is very important to marriage, but it must be understood and a sufficient disillusion ment must be realized before marriage
so that a young person can logically determine God’s will. Couples must want God’s will in every area of life. Instead of thinking, “ How can I know God’s will for my marriage?” we should genuinely and consciously present our whole life to Christ. The prospective marriage part ner must be one who has already pre sented his whole life to Christ. He must take a realistic look at such mat ters as common interests, mutual en joyment of spiritual things, mutual ambitions and goals, backgrounds, family traits, ideals a n d plans. He must have a willingness to work problems out, rather than to deny dr try to escape them. God has promised to lead the person who is committed. We all admit that Eve was God’s life-partner choice for Adam. What an ideal couple! What a beautiful garden wedding! They had it made. What could ever go wrong? But something did go wrong. You see, even Christian marriages have to be worked at. Just being “ in God’s w ill” and having a beautiful ceremony are not adequate reasons to insure a happy marriage. Each partner must help to keep the marriage alive. Notice the steps that caused the breakdown in Adam’s home. First, their relationship to God became clouded with sin and disobedience. Then their relationship to each other became touchy. They lost trust in each other and began to shift blame. The next relationship to suffer was par ental. Not getting along with each other, they began to complete with each other for the affection of their children, and the results were tragic. This same order can be seen in the home of Isaac and Rebecca. Advanced in years, Isaac became impatient with God and took matters into his own hands. He and Rebecca had what probably was a poor relationship. As a result, they competed with each other for the love of their sons. This is too often the order of grief in Chris tian homes. Remedial steps must come in the same order: spiritual, marital, and parental. Always remember that God will direct you in this area if your whole life is yielded to Him. Remember, also, that even though your marriage is “ God’s idea,” it must be kept alive. Happy marriages don’t just happen.
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