FOOD FOR THOUGHT: BY ROSLYN ROZBRUCH (AS I SEE IT)
Over 10 years ago, when Michael and I were having problems with our older daughter, we were in group therapy with other families in our same situation. At one of the sessions, the therapist talked about not enabling our kids. He then told us to write down the answer to his question, “What is the worst thing you fear could happen to your child if you cut them off?”My fear was so great, I didn’t even want to write it down. And that’s what I said: “I don’t want to do this exercise or talk about it.”The therapist and I went back and forth, and then I said, “What if I write down my biggest fear, and it comes true?”
Like the cover of the book says, “A father and daughter’s brutally honest walk with death,” I appreciated how they both shared the good, bad, beautiful, and ugly of their relationship with Jonny. It takes courage to be so honest and share your innermost thoughts and feelings. I also found the book to be very relatable. I gave a copy to a friend who also loved the book and said, “I really related to the brother-sister relationship.” Besides honesty and relatability, Tony and Katie share profound insights. In one instance, Katie writes about her relationship with her brother and realizes you never see 100 percent of someone, while Tony weaves a thread throughout the book discussing in detail liminal space — the place in between “what was” and “what’s next.”
In case you’re wondering what my biggest fear was, I think it’s the same as so many other parent’s, which till this day I still don’t want to write it down, but here goes: I’m afraid that my child will die before I do. Sadly, I know too many parents for whom this has been their reality, and they have lost a child in different situations and circumstances, but in all instances too soon. One such person, Tony Rose — a long-time personal friend of ours and a Diamond member — lost his 28-year-old son Jonny tragically in 2015 and wrote a book with his daughter, Katie, called, “Beautiful Grief.” Katie is also one of my daughter Erica’s best friends. When Erica shared with me over a year ago that Katie and Tony were writing a book about losing Jonny, I knew they were undertaking a big task. Engaging someone’s attention to read a book is tough, even if you’re a writer like Tony who has written several. In today’s climate of the three-second attention span, you need to grab the reader in — gosh, three seconds. When the book was published this past December, Erica gave me a copy to read. I wanted to read the book, and even though Tony is a friend, we aren’t best friends, so I didn’t know everything he was going through. Once I started reading, I couldn’t put it down and finished it in one sitting. The 123-page book alternates chapters written by Katie and Tony in which they share their pain, grief, and healing.
Grief is a universal feeling. I have had my own experience of losing loved ones tragically and suddenly, and I know so many people who have lost a loved one too soon. For some, they can never get past the “what was,” and others, like myself, have been in the liminal space and moved to the “what’s next.” It’s no easy task, and while I believe the wound heals, a scar always remains. I wanted to share my insights about “Beautiful Grief” because I think it’s a book worth reading for anyone who has lost someone they love. For anyone who is a member of Roz Strategies, whether you’re an Insiders’ Circle member, Audit Protection Network member, or Mastermind member, if you would like a free copy of this book, I will ship one to you. Just email us at: info@RozStrategies.com. If you enjoy reading the book as much as I did, please post your thoughts on Amazon, or contact Tony and Katie at www.BeautifulGrief.com.
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