• Tailgating • Not maintaining a consistent speed • Being slow away from traffic lights • Last-minute braking • Changing lanes unsafely The Power Of Listening (CONT’D FROM PAGE 44)
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Think now about listening. We can all sense when someone is really listening to us or not. Here are just a few of the traits/behaviors of someone we might consider to be a poor listener: • They are distracted: While you are speaking they are on their smartphone or watching someone/something other than you. They may look at you briefly and send a false smile your way as if to indicate that they are listening but are obviously somewhere other than with you as you are speaking. • They redirect the conversation: Before you have fin- ished your thought, they personalize it or change the subject altogether. You begin, “I spoke to Betty Jones yesterday and…” Before you have finished your thought, the other person speaks, “She works at Whipsnapple,
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doesn’t she? They just put in some new machinery. Su- per fast! I heard it can…blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” • They rush you with an impatient glance at their watch or interject, “Uh huh” or “Mmm” at inappropriate mo- ments trying to get you to get through your point. • They are falsely patient: They may wait for you to finish but are not focusing on anything you are saying. They are only waiting for you to finish so they can tell you what they want to say. • They have poor non-verbal skills: They may be listening but they don’t look like they are. This can be perceived when the expression on their face doesn’t match up with what you are saying. For example, their face is a blank while you are trying to communicate something of deep, emotional value. What I find very interesting is that while our awareness of bad drivers and poor listeners is quite acute, rarely do bad drivers or poor listeners ever acknowledge these defi- ciencies. What seems so obvious to us is oblivious to them.
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September 14, 2020
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