The Power Of Listening (CONT’D FROM PAGE 48)
said, “No man ever listened himself out of a job.” Who Are The Good Listeners? Think of the people you have known in your life. What would you say is the percentage of really effective, deep listeners compared to the number of people you would dismiss as poor listeners? Pretty scary ratio, no? Of those people you admired for their great listening skills, what qualities did they express that led you to your positive per- ception of them? Here are a few things I have seen in great listeners: • Focused on me: they made me feel like I was the only person in the room • Non-threatening, relaxed attention • Non-verbal reaction to my words that showed me that they were interested in what I was saying. • They seemed genuinely curious in me and wanted to hear what I had to say • Admitted when they didn’t understand or weren’t quite clear about what I was saying and asked me either to repeat what I had said or to clarify Create your own list of qualities that demonstrate ex- ceptional listening skills and then make a point of learning, using and improving upon those qualities as you navigate your personal interactions with others. We all have a good listener living in our own brains • They often asked for more detail • Non-judgmental in their responses
ken to us. Poor listening, to a great extent, is socially rein- forced. Getting ahead often seems to imply getting others to hear what we have to say, not the other way around. Here are some of the other influences that inhibit my ability to listen: • I am rushed and focusing on other problems more than what the person in front of me is talking about • I am not always interested in what others have to say or, at least, I think that my thoughts are more important than their thoughts • I think I understand what the other person is saying be- fore they have actually said it Do you ever have similar thoughts? Why Is It So Important To Listen? Influence requires high level listening capability and ex- pression. If you aren’t listening to them, they will not listen to you. We all want others to find us to be credible. If the other party believes that you are not listening to her, she will naturally believe that you do not understand her. If she is left with the belief that you do not understand her, you will have a very low level of credibility in her mind. This ob- viously will lead to a diminished perception of the value you have to offer and will undoubtedly generate a lot of resistance to whatever it is you are trying to communicate. Calvin Coolidge, a U.S. President from way long ago,
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Mark Neely Training and Consulting Services Over 20 years experience delivering Sales & Negotiation Training to the Corrugated Industry
Training Topics Include: • Prospecting • Trust Building and Differentiation • Sales Process Accountability • Negotiating Skills
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September 14, 2020
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