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OPINION
Y ou’ve probably heard the old philosophical question: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? It’s been interpreted in many ways, but to me, it’s always been about validation. Does something matter if no one acknowledges it? Recognition matters, but real growth happens when leaders value quiet progress, not just visible wins. If a tree falls and no one is around…
That question came to life recently through my son’s experience with math. He was struggling with advanced algebra – he’s in eighth grade – and we started studying together. Which meant I was relearning algebra right alongside him. Over time, his confidence grew, and by the end of the year, he pulled off an A-. His school has an auto-notification system that alerts parents when grades drop below an 89, and I realized I hadn’t received a single alert in weeks. It felt like a solid parenting win. When report cards came out, he casually mentioned they’d been posted. Then, after a pause, he said, “You didn’t say anything about my grades.” And he was right, I hadn’t. Because I wasn’t getting the alerts, I assumed he was doing well. But his comment made me pause. Did he need me to acknowledge what a great job he’d done? Wasn’t the A- enough? At 14, yes, he did need that validation. And it came in the form of a few overpriced items from the mall.
But beyond the new clothes, I saw something shift in him. He felt proud of the turnaround. He saw himself differently. We’d figured out how to study better, how to identify what he didn’t know, and how to ask better questions. The grade became more of a checkpoint than a finish line. This experience reminded me of a concept I’ve always wrestled with: the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivation is driven by external rewards like grades, praise, bonuses. Intrinsic motivation, on the other hand, comes from within. It’s the internal drive to learn, grow, or contribute, regardless of recognition. In his book Drive , Daniel Pink explores this distinction and argues that while external rewards can be effective in the short-term, they often fail to sustain long-term engagement or creativity. He identifies three key drivers of intrinsic motivation:
Janki DePalma, LEED AP, CPSM
See JANKI DEPALMA, page 8
THE ZWEIG LETTER SEPTEMBER 8, 2025, ISSUE 1600
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