SSG14

Shakin' Stfeet Gazette '.. . ' October 1, 1974 . ' No. 14 Free

Frank Zappa

FESTIVA 1 L EAST P,RESENTS

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2 SHOWS!

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7 &: 10:30 IP.M.

·WEo: •;oGT., 9th-8 P ..M. H 1 ANS ·MUSl'C H'A 1 L'L MAl'N 1 FtOOR: $6 & $5-BA'LCO·NY: $5 & $4 1 K 1 ~ 1 E'IN 1

Contents ' 'MHUMANGETSME BbUES: Part one' of the story of

FRI,, OCT.. 18 Kleinhans Music Hall .

Editor: Features: Staff:

Gary Sperrazza! Joe Fernb,acher An"dy Cutler

Frank Zappa's Bizarre/Straight 'Records ... by .Joe Ferribacher .......... .4

TOT ROCK ROLLS THE NATION, PART II: Are the tots re~lly

B.a•cony $5;00, $4.91 .

Main floor $6.00, .j5.00

the new teenagers? More evidence ... by Joe ferribacher ... • ........... . 8

Bob Kozak Jim Bunnell Juicy Lucy Perrone Be'rnard Kugel Mitch '.J.D.' Hejna , Dave Meinzer (Ed.) ·Mickael Gallo Bonnie Morris Carol Panard Melissa Beckman Barbara Rick Little Steve Malowski

THE CONNOLLY CONTRACT: Can the Sweet get by without a

lead vocalist? Do you care? ... by Bonnie Morris ......... : .......... 11 LONG PLAYERS: Suzi Ouatro, Kevin Ayers, Linda Hargrove, ELP, Joe Cocker, Average White Band ... by the Staff .................... 13 COLD CUTS: "Daddy, wha't does 'objec;tivity' mean?" ... by the staff .......... 17 PUSH IN' TOO HARD: Why BinRy Brown's is the 1 only rock 'n' roll bar ·in Buffalo and what you can do about it ... by El Mono ....... . .' ..... . 21 CONCERTS: How not to book rock !ri' roll in Buffalo .... : ................. . 22 Bowie Contest Results .. I

' Contributors: t lester Bangs , Graphics:

Tickets available at FESTIVAL TICKET OFFICE in the Statler Hilton Hotel or with a nominal service charge in BUFFALO at the Buffalo State Ticket Office, at Norton Hall on U.'.B.'s Campus, at all Mantwo and Pantastik Stores l\nd at all Audrey & Del's Record Stores•• In NIAGARA FALLS, N.Y. at D'amico Music .and at Move'n Sound•• In EAST AURORA, N.Y. at the Haus of Ullr • '• In FREDONIA, N.Y. at Fredonia State College Ticket OfficeeelnORCHARDPARK,N.Y.atAudioCenter••lnBATAVIA,N.Y. at Audio Center•• In OLEAN, N.Y. at ' Audio Center•• In ROCHESTE~ N.Y. at all Midtown Record and Tape Center ••In CANADA .:_ NIAGARA FALLS, Ol'ffARIO at Sam the Recordman ••In ST. CATHARINES at Sam the Recordman ••In BURLINGTON at Brant Ticket Agency•• In HAMILTON at Maple Leaf and Connaught Ticket Agencies ••In TORO)'ITO at all Attractions Tickets. ·

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Business: Advertising;

Ron Camacho Kim LeF€bvre

Distribution:

The SHAKIN' STREET GAZETTE is published. alternate Thursdays during ; the' · :academic year and m 'onthly during ttie summer vacation by the students of Buffalo State College, and Is funded by the Mandat'.ory Student Activity Fee. Total press run is 12 ,dbo.' ./ THE SHAKIN' ST. GAZETTE is distributed free of charge 'to the co'llege,communities, and over 30 locations dealing in aspects of ,the .. music buiness, and is widely read by Buffalo fans,. disc Jockeys, critics and music business peoplf! across the country, many of whom contribute to the Gazette. THE SH"l-KIN' STREET GAZETTE is made available ou,tslde the city at a cost of $3.00 ·per semester or $5.50 per year. The Shakin' Street Gazette is published at the State University College at Buffalo, 1300 EIJ11wood Avenue, Buffalo, New York 14222. Located in' Student Union Room 417. (716) · 862-6729. Editorial offices at 35 Knox Avenue, Buffalo, New York 14216. (716) 875-8475 .. , Contributions for Shak,in' Street , are welcome, both from students ~nd .non-students, however, we accept no responsibility for ih.eir return. · ·, The opinions expressed within the Ga·z:'ette do not m,cessariiy reflect the editorial pdlicy • • • • ~o don't bug us because we're ;not responsible. No portion of this magazine may be reprinted in any ma,('lner without the express consent of th:_e Editor. · N6w ts the , time for / the_ P•Ort~ I 3

We 11 kids, y,,e have ourselves a ,bonafide winner, although we can't possibly run the- winning entry. Reason qeing that it was decked out in soporific ·color with glitt·er and jewels in abundance; in 'the word balloons were covers of well-known lesbian porno magazines and a priceless comment by Mx. Emerolled Fox (picttJred above) ... you'd have to see it to bee-leeve it but

you can't (unless you look.closely on ou~ 'office· door). The winner(s) is DG/SM, 2107 West River 0 Rd., Grand Island NY 14072, the entire Bowie catalogue on RCA will arrive at his/her/its humble abode ,quicker than you can say "Wham Barn Thank You M'am:" To all those who entE1red: a Shakin' Street thanx! Boy, some str-ange peo.ple , r11ad this magazine. . . " ., ,c ·•

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independent labels was the sin:iple , fap 1 that Herb Cohen, Frank's financial honcho, . sol\:l , the , distribution rights to ~izzare/Straight to the ever:impor,tar;it Warner-Bros. label. , Besides producing one·or ,tvvongo_od, Mothers lps on his label (my personal favorite, still, be,ir;ig Crusin : with Rueben and the Jets, one of the most complex-simple records ever .made, if you don't bel ieve me just l_is~\)Q t9,tl;ll;l off,beat bi3ss drum note "l{l}ich strains through a song c.alle<;I '.'Jelly Roll Caumdrop ...") Hrank literally went out onto thEH~re~ts pf Hollywood to find s ch murky neomorphs as Wild, Man Fjscher; Alice Cooper; C~r;i,t. Beefheart; and the G.T.O.'s~perhaps his most important discovery in terms of sociologic_al -l;lisJory) . · . Most of these groups, ancl Reople., had records out which h11ye gone virtually unnoticed. and 1 can still be found moulding away in dusty bargrn bins f©r pr,ices varying fron:i $1.99 to $.39. These albums are importa.nt, they shou\d be had for the sake of time- capsule- cultural-. -backtracking. They're also pretty good. Some are ,ex_ercises, i,:, incoherency, others exhilerating glimpses into a .fourth dimension of surreelhood : ,'. dada, mµsical cubism; ,am;l sometimes sheer nonsense for the sake of sheer nonsense.. Is ~ver;ybody in? The stories about to begin: \ No doubt the crowning achievement of Bizzare/Straight records was , Trout Mask Repli,c_a._ by a soft-spoken absurdist g(:\nius called, Capt. Beefheart. Beefheart .had just come off a number of musically vivaciOL!-S,- fin~ncially disastrous outings with labels like Kama Sutra, and Blue Thumb, when he latched o_nto an old hombre from his hometown, Frank Zappa. Zappa and ·Beefheart spent many a dusw night jamming in the local bis!ros. · Lat~r. when Frank.. talked Don (a.ka Capt.) into recording yet another recorc!,, the Capt. sat down and jammed out all the songs for the session iri something like two hours. Wi~h the help of his Magic Band, Zoot Horn Rollo, Rockette · Morton, the Mascara Snake (Don's brother who was totally burned out by "thousands" of acid trips, which e~entually led to. •Capt. to ~aking a hard lin,e stance against drug abuse) and Antennae Jimmy Semens, he went into the studio and taught his band each of the looney toons to be recorded. The results is one of th,e finest records of the era, a monument to abstract lyricism, convoluted musical phrasings, and general all round m~yhem . It. ,was on "Trout Mask Replica" where the Capt. showed t,e•~ probably one of the finest poets of the century. Ho~ can you argue with: , \ "I saw yu_h dancin' in yer x-ray gingham dress I knew yo~ were under duress I new you under yer dress Just keep comin' Jesus Yer the b.~st dressed You look dandy in the sky but you don't scare me Cause I got you here in r,-;y eye

Between late 1968 and late 1969 dozens of independent record labels were rising from the ashes of the psychedelic evolution, or de·volution, depending\ entirely on one's sense of greasy history. It was a ti'me when normality was bust and whatever happened to cross your mind became the password for existence. , , The San Francisco music scene was swarming across the country on the undergro'und railroad and laying waste to the waxy ear channels of concrete hardened city-criminals, groups like the Grateful Dead (blech), Janis Joplin and Big Brother, Quicksilver, etc. (if you wanna know any more names call up Ralph Gleason collect and he'll name at ·least a thousand-the old fcl{_t'S still trying to sell that baby-puke) and there was even an underground to augment the·underground, a musical cadre which bred on the entertaining_aspects of intellectual paranoia and utter confusion. Paramount amongst these mini-mutant masters was a band . of maniacs called the Mothers of Invention . .--A constantly straining musical aggregation, ,or aggravation, which ran tantivy into the brick wall of established norms. Led by ace-cynic-cyanide-snide Frank Zappa, the Mothers became the foremost leaders of the under- the- underground counter- kulture. They surfaced only on occasions like when they were asked to play on the Steve Allen Show. A true moment in the history of rockaroo. There sits Steverino reading the lyrics from "Hungry Freaks Daddy'.' tinkling his bell, tooting his horn, all the while espousing the musical _completeness of Zappa and the Mothers. Zappa comes out and talks, real smart,- very intelligent, a true spokesman for the race of hippydom. Then the Mothers play and hlow away the entire studio. They scared a lot of people that night. Quickly the group amassed enormous quantities of vinyl product'. Only thing they weren't making any money, they were starving, and Frank started stealing ideas from members of the group. Eventually, they broke apart, like the proverbial marriage dish in some, foreign countries, and became Little _ Feat, Geronimo Black, the Magic Band, etc. But, Zappa continued the vision of his youth and kept the Mothers alive in various · mutations which sprouted such ominous talents as Flo & Eddie, Aynsley Dunbar, Jean-Luc Ponty etc. Until we see the Mothers of today-pure diluted dog breath... Boy, I sure think Zappa oughta stick his geetar up his basic nasal retentive and go back to Lancaster where he belongs, chiding the tumbleweeds instead of insisting he's still as funny, or important, as he used to be, because he ain't... But, whilst collecting his current brain-waves he managed _ to create one of the most, inspirational independent recording labels since ESP records. Bizzare/Straight Records was Fra,nkie's toy, a label which was totally dedicated to taking artists of momentary note and capturing them for the sake of documentation, for the .sake of sociological history. Anc;I for that we owe Frank Zc1ppa an incredible debt. His foresight, ·no matter how badly it was obscured by his continued insistence on taking these performers and producing them as if he ' were them instead of them being them, it was Zappa's versior-i of what he thought they should sound like, not their vision of what they should sound like. No matter, Frank and his . aptitude for collecting the essentials of freakdom, were important, are -important, because nobody gave a spit-on-a-shine. Throughout Bizarre/Straight's short, but fruitful career (the only reason they lasted longer than any of the other

"China Pig" all rounded out like a nice shoulder of slaughtered lobster (the Capt.'s favorite fish-dish) , with the supreme Beefh!lartism called, "Neon ME\ate Dream of ·an· Octafish ..." (Try this one on fer size all yo's aspiring poets .. .) 'Lucid tenacles test 'n sleeved 'N joined 'n jointed jade pointed Diamond back patterns Neon Meate Dream of an octafish

Artifact on rose petals 'N flesh petals 'n pots Lack 'n feat 'n tubes tubs bulbs· 'N jest incest injest injust in feast incest 'N specks 'n speckled speckled Speckled speculation · Fedlocks waddlin' feasts Archaic faces frenzy Ceramic fists artificial deceased . .. "

In this lifetime you got 'mhumangetsmeblues With 'yer jaw hangin' slack in yer hair's curlin' Like an 01.!! navy fold stickin' in the sunset The way you were dancin' I knew . you'd never come back You were strainin't'keep yer Old blac~ cracked patent shoes In this life time you got m'humangetsmeblues... "

Since the auspicious mega-lLJmp of Trout Mask Replica has slipped into a vinyl slipstream , the Capt. has stayed with Warr:ier Bros. and reieased many more such masterpieces. · The , Spotlight Kid and Clear Spot - the Capt. slickest outing yet, produced by Ted Templemen, and sporti'ng such classics as "Big Eyed Beans From Venus" "Too Much Time" and "Crazy _Little Thing" this record has paved the way for the Captain's ··--·--·-L --.-·----------------- -------'---

. . . and that's not even one of his better effort5. Q.thers include, " Frown1and" "The Dust BIQws Foreward 'n iifhe Dust Blows Back"·"Dachau Blues" and how's 'bout ole "Ella Guru" interlaced with such antics as "Veteran's Day Poppie" and "The Old Fart was Smart" and the Rocky Jones blues jam on --... ------ ---,-----------------

'Fu Man Captain relaxes under the nose he ain't no hamburgi!r

OCTOBER 1, 1974

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SHAKIN' ST. GAZETTE

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Is this Zappa's new band, The Rea1- Mothe~s?

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· forgotten Cooper creepers. It. presents a now higt,ly polished . performer iri .a raw, !!'Ore natural state, his voice vyasn't smooth, the band made mistakes, they had r;io sense of cohesion, and they scared the piss outta a lot people."Side One of the record is relatively calm: the opening ca•t is entitled "Titanic Overture" and is to "Nearer My God to Thee" :as Hendrix was to the "Star Spangled Banner." A lot of Lizt (no pun) ish organ grinding playing ·dirges for the mute green trances. of the slowly drowning. All that in a minute/nine seconds. "Sing Low, Sweet Gherrio" begins with a low acoustic guitar only tff be drowned out by the pulsing in-out rhythmic meanderings of the band and Alice's incoherent • lyrical tribute to drunken suicide. At times they\ sourid like a cross between the West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band and Ornette Cole'man on a bad night. "Today Mueller" is simply an android Fandango, conjuring images of clean 'looking humanoids sitting in a dark cate sipping sludge and .staring at a computer. The side rounds out with a five minute opus called, ' "Fields of Regret"-this is where the first strains of the "Black _,, JuJu" theme begin and that's all you need to know. , Flip it over and you find out why these guys became as big as they' did. It's all there. Diluted, but still very evident. The main attractions here are, "Levity Ball" which was recorded I SHAKIN' ST. GAZETTE

inv,asion .of the common consciousness. His latest release, Uriconditio17ally Guaranteed '(Mercury) hailing Don's philosophy of "Love over Gold" shows him on-the front cover ~lutching at handfuls of greasy greenbacks. Inside, the record is l'ight, hard to get into, but eventually brilliant. Don, you're not getting older you're just getting a shade _ more "distempered grey." That's one of the a,rtists given ·a boost by Zappa and Bizzare. Another was a band of Detroit cultural d.p.'s going under ' the title of Alice Cooper. At that time Alice was Sporting blo~d locks and spreading tales that he was really the reincarnation of a witch which rad gotten herself burned at the stake during the heyda')'. of Witch Hunting. The band was loosely knit and prone to ex~nwagant jams in which Alice would ,bring out a portable window, give his evil stare, and wash the audience with an overwhelming 1 sense of impending destruction. • I first met Alice the week Bizzare released their first Lp, , Pretties for You and all we talked aboyt was the absurdity of the rackjobbers insistence on putting a white strip of tape over an exposed pair of fem-p,an';ies on the cover, and t,he direction in which he wanted to !l~ with the band "W.e wanna get into more electronic music:- . . "Pretties for You" is one of t~e 6 \

live at th~ Club Cheetah-the o'nly official live recordi~g of the group incidentally; the Al\'1PH ETIM IN E encrusted bluz-buster called "B:B. King on Mars"; followed by their first almost hit "Reflected." Judging where they're at now this recorcj was essential, and is essential to own. So much has been written about these guys that it's useless to even go on, so I won't. Another of the mutoids Zappa collec'ted was a zany who called himself "Wild Man Fischer." His double-Ip ramblings are so dense that I'm still trying to find out wh,at's actually happening when it plops on my Edison machine. All I can say is "1 'm working For the Federal Bureau of Narcotics" and "Jennifer Jones" are the best songs (if .ya can call 'em that) that I've ever had the occasic,:m to wrestle with. For a detailed look at Wild Man Fi~cher dig up an old .copy of ) PUNK magazine and read "springtime for golda meir"-1 wrote that one so's why cover ·the same ground twice. Also of special · note: Kim Fowley's introduction to Wild Man's import still stands as tt,e best Fowley since "Good Clean Fun .. . r• AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: 1 , "Ladies and gentlem'en; and those who aren;t sure. The glorious day in pop music has thusly arrived. It h(ls been decreed that a Jewish mother shall give birth, shall have. given birth too, well, anyway a Jewish kid is gonna make it big, man.

It is now time for the beautiful people like Donovan, Mickey RooneV and one of the Beatles, to set aside' because a growling savage has hurled himself from the precipice of the lavistine ledges of the Sunset Strip leaping out of the eating affair, a Jackass King storming_ through the petrols of the planetary galaxy, at last we have an idol, we have Wild Man Fischer, who i~ gonna take us from the darkness and out of the fog and dampness, he's gonna take us into bruises and cuts and bandages, qaby, and iodine. Wild Man Fischer is gonna get us back in the parking lot, hitting each other where we belong, no more love and ·flowers, because Wild Mari Fischer is standing naked •.. " well, you get the idea. That's only two minutes oii , the record and it's like a B-side compared to •the chaos the Wild Man gets intb. · Finally th-e-object de art.' .. a d'iscussion of the G:T.O.'s. ' I . I 1 (Hey kicls, you'll have to wait for Part Two of this story because El Mono experienced sensory overlode while researching this extravaganza. He assures us that part two will be "UNFUCKIN' REE~" because it'll be entirely about the fabulous G'.T.O.'s including comments from the Shakin' Street Staff as they first hear the Girls Together Outrageously .. . what the hell, these brats were all too young to remember...)·

OCTOBER 1, 1974

their arms around each other they present the meat which a magazine like 16 or Tiger Beat would give ' th~ir lifetime supply of Yardley for, wh.ich is not meant. to imply that it's true, because it probably isn't, but what an aura of latent perversion they DO cast off. Just like way back when Sonny and Cher first hit "Where the Action is" dressed in those heavy fur coats and Sonny was so smF:! and Cher so tall and sexy, you just had to think things like "I wonder if she's into · whips..." f>.ure fantasy, but a kid has the right to cream-dream over his fave-rave anytime he wants to, especially if he goes out and plods down six bucks for their LP's thereby keeping the stars in eternal cocaine. 1 Secondly, they showed some film from a BBC documentary on one of the Osmond -concert dates over in Great B.' To say what we saw was delicate is absurd. The mob scene in front of these tot-glitoids would've been enough to send chills up and .down the collective spines of CB DeMille and OW Griffith. Girls '!Vere fainting left and right and the decibel level of their continuous war-cry would've been enough to make any heavy meta~ maniac's nose bleed-that kind of shrill screech is true heavy metal music, and it's going by totally unnoticed. Girls would pass-out, be carried across the stage and placed in an emergency medical center, recover, go out and faint again just to get b,ack up on stage. CUT BACK TO DONNY AND MARIA: smiling. The viciousness of that crush of humanity near the front was overwhelming. It made anything we see at OUR concerts seem like sitting down in a · nice, posh, sedate hall to watch Frank Sinatra and Johnny Mathis have a tiattle of the vocal chords: At one point that crush got so intense (during a Davicf Cassidy concert) one girl was literally crushed _to death-now that's fanaticism. Speaking of David Cassidy, ace-Partridge Family honcho, they've released a recording of that concert, the one where the tot got mangled, and if you listen carefully, and use a little bit of imagination, you ' can actually hear the girls bones crush, RIGHT THERE ON THE RECORD. The record's called ironically, "Cassidy Live!" (Bell) ~nd starts out with thousands of post-pamper femme fatales screaming out at the tops of their training bras, Gimmie a C-C, Gimme a A-A, etc., and so forth until ole' dreamy eyes himself vaunts onto the stage and belts out "It's Preying on My Mind." All this reviewer can say is: "The men , don't know but the .little girls OCTOBER 1, 1974

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TotRockRolls theNation Now that we've finally established the fact that a generational cultural mutation, "does" exist we should go back, way back, and find out what was happening when the mites were being catered to by a masterful set of hyped teenwagerswho, in actuality, wer~ mere replacements for ;-i rapidly awakening , mass of:, wild childs BUT FIRST: Part II by Joe Fembacher , whole conception by including Wild Girls into his vision). padded '·away. They left the bodies stripped to the skin many with· the genitals 9ut off. The wild boys make little pouches from human testicles in which they carry their hashish and khat. , ."

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-/sit true what they say about Donny and Maria...

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It;~ obvious that Amerka's highly touted Second Political Revolution was a monumental flop; so went the history of the teenage revolution-whaaa happened? -cultural ' (subliminal, naturally) 0°'d, that's what happened. But a tot revolt can happen, . will happen, and can succeed. If they realize it in time. The mind of a child is cold, calculating, illogical, vicious and most of , all, pure-free from conceptual sin-if the kids revolt as KI OS, not as kids trying to em_ulate their big brothers and sisters, they'll win, Like the Lilliputians of · Swift's "Gulliver" they can strap the giant down ~o the white sands of the beach and slowly cannibalize 'em for their own needs and pleasures. Tots .as essential purity (aka sheer evil); the terror of the innocent-shudder. If the tots ban together they can kill!!! They already have. Evidence: Recently, Donny and Maria Osmond were co-hosts ori the Philly based Mike Douglas Show. First off, they exude the promise 'of the Forbidden American incest taboo-they come on like Faulkner or Tennesee Williams-when they wrap SHAKIN' ST. GAZETTE

"The regiment is well into the valley. It is still a hot afternoon with SLJllen electricity in the air. And suddenly' there they are on both sides of us against the black mesas. The valley echos to, their terrible charge cry a hissing outblast of breath like a vast WHOOOO? ... Their eyes light up inside like a cat's and their hair stands on end ... They aren't human at all more like vicious ghosts. They carry eighteen-inc.h bowie knives with knuckle-duster handles pouring into the river bed above and below us leaping down swinging their knives in the air. · When one is killed a body is dragged aside and another takes his place." And if you're walking down the street some day and a buncha pee-wees start givin' you the eye . just veer clear of 'em 'cause what they want to do to all grown-ups is: "I saw the Colonel empty his revolver and go down under ten wild boys. A moment later they tossed his bleeding head into the air and started a ball game. Just at dusk the wild boys got up and

Anyone curious enough to take a terrifying-if not amusing-glance into what would-or should we say, will-happen if the tads of the world shucked off their strangling coil of societal subservience and ran rampant through the streets of suburbia, just pick up a copy of William Burrough's (the old fart just might be smart, even if he's been burned-out since he ate his naked lunch) "The Wild Boys": a book of great importance to anyone wht> wants to know exactly what a good rock-ass attitude is really all about: AND I QUOTE: "They have incredible stamina. A pack of wild boys can cover fifty miles a day. A handful of dates and a lump of brown sugar washed down with a cup of water keep them moving like that. The noise they make just before they charge ... well I've seen it shatter a greenhouse fifty yards away..." (if he weren't so mono-sexual, he would have bolstered the

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D 'd av, contemplates eating Susie's eye

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make-up -- knoik!!!

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-"And they use human skin to form the sheaths of their instruments. .. "

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collective guts•out for alll)OSt an hour and a half already, taking themselves and a twenty·-·mile radius on a sonic . roller coaster ride - the screaming on the Ip is better than the whole Ip itself if you wanna get into pure atonal technics and what-not, . jeez it's almost-but not quite-as good as the_screaming on the early live Kinks Ip-man tho'sepmeys sure know how to screecheroo. This is only a live gig from David Cassidy, can you imagine what it'll be like when we can all sit back and pant ~II over Susan Dey's eyelashes ... Well, this isn't exactly what this installment of TOT Rock was supposed to be, but I get excited by this stuff and its implications, so keep an orb-feel ' out for TOT ·Rock Ill and we'll do an in-depth look as teenzines as they_were; and as they are today . That means that in the next issue we'll meet people like Sally Field, before she had something extra; Sajid, an early Sabu rip-off, Jay North, Luke Halpin, he's ,the one who starred with Flipper; and dazzling look into Davy Jones' secret diary; and how to grow tits through isometrics and we'll even get into Yardley commercials, and .. well till then rem~ber KISS A TOT TODAY 'CAUSE HE'LL PROBABLY BE SL I CI NG OF F YOUR NUTS TOMORROW.. . _____ __________ -'---- SHAKIN' ST. GAZETTE

understand" and it's been that way s,ince Elvis first twisted his hips in front of a mixed audience. . He follows this with a w(spy ode to the burning passion '.f summer romance. "Some Kin"d c:if A Summer" is one of those timeless pieces that can even surmount the indignities of live prod,uction. David's . milky •vocal arrangement, combined with a truly brilliant ·performance by some unknown girl singers in the background, make this ,a toori worthy of · pop-toppers li'ke the Raspberries and the old Badfinger. Next is an oldie that tears instantly into the fluttering -hearts of his girl-child audience, "BreakiAg Up is Hard to Do," especially if you're lucky enough to be breaking up with David. "Now "ladies and gentlemen you're gonna see "me do something I do very poorly..." David croons as he slides his lips across his pet Honer as if it were his honey-pie's luv-lips. Then h~ sings another dirge to teenwean-all .the time paying just homage to the Rascals-called, "Bali Ha'i."

'shit-eati'ng grin on his face as he quietly escorted two or three teen luvlies up to his hotel room for an evening of fun and spin-the-perversion · hubba, hubba. The same goes for David, he knows who his audience is, and he .knows just how they like it-hot 'n,nasty. Then an amazing thing happens, you put on side two and David actually rocks out. H'l:) drives 'em insane with "Please Please Me" (nice move, sorta -like John Kennedy' proclaiming "lch Bin Ein - Berliner...") tJ,en does an, honest to qoodness Rascals' song, "How Can I Be Sure," only to razamataz the night away with a trio of toons: beginning with Steve Stills lost lament "For What It's Worth" · anc:I., for what it's worth this i; ok if you, like Steve Stills. I don't. . But, then again he finishes up with a - ·continuous rock medley-like any top-notch rock 'n' roll star does-which begins with the perennial "CC Rider" and lapses on into the void with things like "Blue Suede Shoes," "Jailhouse · Rock," "Rock and Roll Music," and his own true blue rockalong Cassidy caper, "Rock Me Baby.'' This is one live record that remairrs a document throughout, a document with screams that put the Five's ' ~Kick Out the Jams muthafuckas" to shame, simply because he doesn't have to ask for his audience to kick out the jams, his audience has . been screaming their ------ .----- ---- - ' ... , .. _ ________________ .,

1-0-CLOCIE: 2-0-CLOC~ ?,- 0-CLOC~ ROCK.4'

TWO THOUSA'ND DOL.l.ARS A I-IEAD 1 PLUS CONSIDERING Tl-IE EXSPEN<:.E IN\/0L\/EP GOING :To E.NGLAND, IT WOULD COME. TO EtGH7'" G~AND.

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"TEN THOUSANO DOLLARS?// WHERE.'D •HE 011-\E.R·;.a COME IN? ' -

'(Ol,J SE.E., WHEN OUR CLIE.NTS DON'T PAY IN ADVANCE, THEY ALliOMA"TICALL'l' PUT A CONTRACT OUT ON THE.MSEL\JE.S. OF couR':E WE't> WANT THE. 2.GRANP FOR THE CON"TRAC.1 ON YOU AND ~e. R.EST WE EXPECT ON A DUE DA"TE. IF 'iOU PA'< ON "Tl-IE DUE. DATE YOU GET YOU~ Two G's BACK.AFTER "T\4Ai YOU LOO~E \00 DOLLARS A DAY. AFiER '2.0 DA",'S- 'YOU LOOSE YOUR LIFE .

He finishes up side one witti a rockaroundtherompenoom edition of Leon Russel I's "Delta Lady.'' Let's face it, the men who .scoffed at Brian Jones 'cause he was cute a~d worr. weird clothes and long hair couldn't possibly understand why · he always had that ............. _ .. --- . _______ .. ,

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ng Ployers

Now the past has had its share of blasts and images like the Pelvis, Buddy, Janis, Jimi, Harold's, and Hermar's. Some · e>f 'em were real, others were performers straight till the end. Oh while wa're at it, remember Fabian? Shit, he couldn't sing a toile~ bolll(I commercial, still everybody went ape over his ass. An' today I just heard that Miok "Th~ Bad Boy Soup· Stained Fat-Lipped Can't Act" Jagger just got the lead · in a new Walt Disney Production of "Tarzan Eats Jane at McDonalds·with -Plenty of Tartar Sauce." That's the trouble with Rock 'n' Roll today, there's too much Hollywood, too much Peter Lorrie, too much Elliot Ghould, too much Huey Heffner, •too much Johnny Carson and, and, ... oh! fuck! I just give up, cause I'm sick of it. Remember that what once belo,ngec{ in ' the gutters (and the kids embraced it!( '. has become refined and "tasteful." Now : R 'n' R lives with stereotyped schizoid half-assed glory seekers that spend time , sippin' the cream of Burbank cause it's good for their, image. We should install a · Rock 'n' Roll execution block. What it all · comes down to however, is that there ain't nuthin' wrong with gimmicks as long ,

"TWO MONTHS LATER Ai A SHAlA( THc.'1': ARc.DEMANOING 1'0C'OME i"Q A MEEJING,81!1 i~ISPLAtE -.1\l<;.T I \'SNi '81G ENOl.lGI-I."

WILL iHE. S'wE.c.i AO'-JE~\'2.E. FOR ANO'THE.R BRIAN C'ONNOL.L '( ?

in the seventies and I don 1 care what 1anybody says is IMAGE! IM,4.GE! ·IMAGE! How many chicks'Can you score, the typ~ of threads you wear. With her you Just exchange roles. But nobody in the promo department ever faces the big macho question: . "HOW GOOD CAN YOU GUYS PLAY?" Maybe this is what the kidz are lookin' for - cause they're all displaced and mentally zilch - ha! ha! ma brother gets his kicks oi;, Esquire foldouts (1950), and now it's Penthouse. So Suzi ain't whatcha' call a pin-up (she's too flat), but some big- R 'n' R critic long ago • was watchin' Mick shake his •ass and somehow blew this thing outa 'proportion. So Rock 'n' Roll needed ta get it together again so I guess this Queen Bee and her sis 1 s gang (Fanny) fits the bill. Me, I purely don'tgivva' shit. I wanna' go back to the Seeds n' Music Machine n' Blue Cheer n' MC5. Baby that thar wasn't bull that was real honest ta' God ROCK N' ROLL. It wasn't cute, celluloid. packaged, and made-up (ya know I wish I could kill CSNY wit. their Deja Vu rhetoric, cause I tl'link tha's where Chinn/Chapman got their ideas, while Mickie Most (at the time producing Suzi's first single - "Brain Confusion") was . trippin' on stickin' colgate toothpaste in their ears. Then ' they took turns eatin' out each other'~ lobes ta death ... Why dya' think Suzi has 99.9% fewer cavities? She ,wen't to Hol,lywood ta get em' capped!). Anyway you guys remember Micki e "The Egotist" Most. This dude usta produce for Jeff Beck and eventually kicked himself in the ass for letting Rod Stewart .(who was in Jeff's group) and a few million slip · thru his fingertips; Anyway he brought Suzi to England from the Motor City. One of her first attempts was a single on Rak records and surprisingly .enough she wrote both songs. "Rqlling Stone" was the "A" side with a cute hook but ,that was all. Side B sounds like Peggy Lee doin' "Fever," at the sweet age of 15. The only good part . abo.ut this number is in the intro when she gives a mild purr when she says "liiayayayay" like she's whispering it in your ear. Both of these cuts by the way have those same haunting distasteful choruses.

ANO"THER. WON'1" DO.' I LIKE 1HEM JUST 1HE \/JAY -n-1EY ARE./NOWGE.i OUT/

IN 'THE. NE.)("T EIGHT ISSUEs.,·n-1E 8TI-I 'wl 1..1.. BE. n~e. ''ASSA':.IN'S ,, SP'ECTAC:.ULAR/

S'we-E.T F.A.'s AND THE S'v.JEE. 1 ,E.T,C.,BLA-BLA 1--...,..,...~::c,,,;~,..-,,==--=--=,.....,,.=~= NOW WE ARE

Off"ERING 3 MILLION OOLLRRS

Suzie Q QUATRO Suzi Quatro (Bell)

"She claims that she hasn't owned a dress in years, preferring ,denim offstage \ and insisting on leathers on stage. She wears either her black or ner gold skin-tight leather jump-suit while i;>erforming. Closer investigation reveals not only a birthmark under her right eye, but also two tatoos: a rose on 1 her shoulder and a star on her wrist." That is. what the bio_sheet s_ays on Suzi Quatro, so big deal. Popeye had two tatoos too, : but at least you could see em! Anyway, it sounds like th is dude is givi-n' an {iUtopsy on her. What the hell, we were never aware of this shit before, somehow the music · always spoke for the musician. So why does everything hafta' be promoted to the erotic? Yeah, I can imagine some fifty-year old geek bringin' a rolled-up newspaper · with him just to see Ms. Vaseline Queen, Fine, you get your kicks etc. Bu! Suzi is schizoid cause her pipes need lubricating on stage, in the studio her voice sounds like she's gettin' a vibrator uj:> her ass. 'But why do people "dig" her, har, har, cause she thinks she's ' from the .other side of the tracks.. What does she have that AnnetteFunicello and Skeeter Davis didn 't have? Least they could sing but they were homegrown virgins. So there. Ask you r average metal freak teenager most of 'em wil l just .wave a hand in the air: "Ehhh?". Touche. Now the big thir:'g OCTOBER 1, 1974 \

MEAN'WI-IILE.... CONNQLLYS NEW OCAL CI-IOROS ARE WORl<.INGFINE, WE. NOW OROP IN ON 3 DRUNKS.. .

-Here's one lady that didn't need leather to get you hot. 13 '·

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future in the little bar bands she took off for Nashville. Her songs were n t great but they got her noticed en o u g to get ·steady work as a session musi ·ian and _ then as a recording engineer (unusual anywhere for a woman b t almost unheard of in the excessi· 1ely male ·dominated Nashville coun ry music scene). Now she is gaining re ,ognition as a singer-performer and _her ong writing has developed to the point that she· can record an album of a dozen 9riginal songs without a single bad cut. Her -name is Linda Hargrove and her title (or at least the title of her album) is Blue Jean Country Queen. She doesn't fit the image of female country pop singers. Linda would lo.ok as ridiculous in a blond wig 'and makeup as Tammy Wnyette would performing in the bluejeans, halter top and sun glasses that Linda wears. The music she plays doesn't fit the stereo type either: arrangements are very well thought out and though a variety of ideas are going at once, they never sound cluttered. Her voice, with a heavy so~thern accent is not powerful but still convincingly strong, simple and honest. The same three words would probably best describe her lyrics: strong, simple and honest.

indebted_ to B.B. King, l-;lowlin' Wolf, Willie Dixon, etc. And where would Rod Stewart and Paul Rodgers be without Sam Cooke to copy?Young Britishers are still retreading black music but now more in the style of Detroit and Philadelphia than Chicago or the Mississippi Delta. Ross, Frampton's Camel and the Average White Band are examples of this, the AWB being the purest and closest to the original sound. 1 With 9 (out of 10) cuts being original, co-vocalists Alan Gorrie and Hamish Stuart manage to convey the feeling of Motown in the Sixties. Side one opens strong with "You Got It" and never stops. "Pick pp the Sixties" is, an instrumental, stopping in the, middle for some screaming and yelling. "Got the Love," sung by Stuart, is a love lament of the genre: Boy Loves AbsentGirL AWB;s version of the Isley Bros. "Work to Do" has a brass section, composed of Randy and Mike Brecke~, Mel Davis and Glenn Light," released as a single, exudes gospelly bniss coherently put out by the Price-led horn secti'on. "A Little Rain"· states Cocker's purpose: "And when I'm ·on my last go-round/ I earl stand another test/ Because I've made\it 'before/ ...And I can make it solT)e , more." A positive attitude never hurt anyone. "I Get Mad" ' is a great brassy rocker, the type qf song Cocker sings best and incidentally the only song on the LP he wrote. As for the rest .of the album, well he's not 100% back to ' par and three songs don't make an albl'.Jm. In fact, he almost blew his comeback on the first date of theUS tour at th~• Roxy in L.A. in front ; of a "press and guests only" type audience, pwbably due to his fondness of the aforementioned_ cognac. Christ, I almost feel like a bloody schoolteacher. "He really can do better, Mrs. Cocker, if only h~'d try." Ole Joe has shown us he's got the stuff before and A Little Rain, especially after the disastrous fourth album, lea_ds one to believe he'll soon be better than ever, "if only he'd try." -Andy Cutler A.C-.N.E. ' JUNE 1, 1974 Ayers, Cale, Nico, Elno (Island) / l's sittin' ta home one day pickin' my pimples and slurpin' up the puss thinking how cools I is 'cause I'm eatin' pimple pu~e an Jistenin' to "DOA" by Bloodrock (I once attempted to get inta the stout

Ferris, in addition tci AWB regulars Roger Ball and Malcolm: Davis. It pays good homage to the Isleys, although it's sort- of ironic: a song by -the lsleys, masters of the cover version, done by white lim'eys. Also of interest is ''.There's Always Someone Waiting," a paranoiac bump that makes yoLl want to re'ally look over your shoulder(?) where Show Your Hand failed: Show Your Hand was the AWB'• first a(bum (on MC4) and was uneven, .the only outstanding cuts being "The Jugglers" and "TLC," an i_ncredible eight-minute bump. Besides, Show Your Hand sounded more like the recent N.Y. soul sound (of Kool, the Kay-Gees, etc.) where this, as I said, is more 'Motown meets Philly. Average White Band is a nearly flawless al bum; they're ruff and tuff and sho' nuff' strut their stuff. -Andy Cutler

as the music is the primary goal. Now let us join together mind to mind • as we examine the latest attempt by the spirit sister to Jimi Hendrix, the one (and fortunately only) Suzi Ouatro. ' The album overall has such a sweet punk essence to it, it makes me sick. _I don't c·are. if she is a punk, don't ram it down my throatJake! "Devil Gate Drive" ' 'was a hit single in England (but over here you know half this stuff flops on its ass). The beat just plods on continually so ya don't know when this ends and sumthin' alse starts. Anyway I don't like the way she does Chinn/Chapman songs; the Sweet do 'em better. She had to throw in some standard Rock 'n' Roll so she picked "Keep A Knockin' " and "Hit the Road Jack" which is in_~identally arranged by Motown cause you can do the bump to it (even though only white kids do the bump anymore). I need a .38 caliber cause I can't stand it no more the way da boys irl\ her band keep ---'botchin' up 1hose choruses. It '. sounds like everybody's loaded (which means it should turn out great), but they all sound iike they got epilepsy of the mouth. I like the chorus in "Savage Silk" but that's all, and "Move It" has the only real potential for bein' - a blockbuster in the states. On side two she shocked ·the hell outta l me because Suzi and her playmate wrote a song "Cat Size/' which is one of the better cuts on the Ip - it's a ballad and for the first time she sirigs by herself with no distortion in the background. The whole concept of this album is teenage or at least it tries tp be. Okay, so there is a lot of sexual connotation, but that's not all that is teenage. There are those never ending problems which a kid faces today that weren't · around a few ye~rs ago. That's the problem, the companies iJnd songwriters all forget who their main source of income is. That kid in the. record store who is fiercely clutchin' his hard earned coin just so albums like· this will _steal it on 'em. Women in Rock 'n' Roll is nice but remember Leslie Gore was the fi~t heavy metal singer. THE KIDS WANTA LITTLE ACTION THE KIDS WANTA LITTLE FUN THEY WANNA GET THEIR KICKS BEFORE THE EVENINGS DONE CAUSE THEY'RE GOIN TO HIGH SCHOOL RAH! RAH! RAH! HIGH SCHOOL

AWB THE AVERAGE WHITE BAND (Atlantic)

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·.j

Black American music has always had a profound impact on English music -,The Sixties' Blues craze that made superstars of Clapton, Beck, Mayall and co. is 100%

I• •

-Suzi gets another hit.

As I've safd, Blue Jean Country Queen is an extrer:nely even album, so- picking the best cuts would be difficult. However the title song and opening cut is _notable for the way in which Linda grabs a hold of the issue, kicking things off with a s·olo acoustic guitar riff, and then leads the band through an evenly rocking -Mitch '.'J.D." Hejna autobiographical song with a neat little

SIS BOOM BAH! YA BETTER LET THEM HAVE THEIR WAY -MC 5 IT WAS MEANT TO BE THIS WAY FOR A LONG TIME.

western swing break half way through. Other notable songs include "City of Angels" with its be,autiful soaring c;horus, "Bye, By.e Babylon'( a jumping number which also has a ca,chy cho-rus, and one of the most beautiful love songs 1 've ever heard, "I've Never Loved Anyone More" co-written by Linda with Mike Nesmith, and previously recorded by Johnny Rodriguez.

o ecords by listening to the "live" version of that ·song underwater in my backyard swimmin' -pool, ·the '(five" version being sumthin' like nine minutes long an I almost made it 'cept I passed out... ) when this blind-mute staggers through ·my screen door waving what looks like a record. So's naturally being the punknod that I am, I's scramble outta my easy chair-it's a great chair, has lot_sa neet print designs of nun's bein' screwed by dogs 'n Iii •girls bein' buggered by cucumbers-an immediately punched the tard out an swipes his record. Standin' there in my, Lassie jockey shorts I's let my eyes leer on the cover. Hey, there's a broad wha look like a zornbie's-menstrual cycle; an a guy wearin' a red beanie what looks like one a dern faggots, he's got lipstick on an he looks like he's been dead for a long time. Then there's these -two norm. looking at each other as if to say "who invited the ghouls ..._?" l's looking 15

Cocker I CAN STAND A LITTLE RAIN Joe Cocker (A&M)

Joe Cocker. The mere mention of the name evokes images of a slobbering lunatic, oozing with booze, .spitting out the lyrics to "A Little Help From My Friends" as if they were broken teeth. Mr. Cocker, always a firm believer in the merits of Courvasier, is in the process of Staging-A-Comeback, and this new album might well serve to dispel that nasty old image of a drunken buffoon. Produced by Jim Price, A Little Rain is Cocker's slickest effort to date. Side one's first three songs - "Put Out the Light," "A Little Rain," and "I Get Mad" prove to be the best consecutive 11 minutes he's ever waxed. "Put Out the OCTOBER 1, 1974 I

Jean Queen BLUE JEAN COU_NTRY QUEEN Linda Hargrove (Elektra/Asylum) She started her career in Florida rock With the fine mixture of sweet c.ountry music punched with rock 'n' roll and based on strong melodic pop, sung and written by one of Nashville's finest emerging talents .and played QY two dozen , of Nashville and Memphis's best musicians, Blue Jean Country Queen has a lot going for it. In fact not only is this one of the four or five best albums _I've heard this year, it's the freshest thing I'ye heard in a loooooong time. -Dave l\(leinzer bands and then when ther=e_-=.:se:..::e ..... m_e:___d_n_o________________ ··- ··--···- _ ........ -------·- .. . ,-- ---·-··-·--·-----

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OCTOBER 1, 1974 -------- ---- Cold Cuts NOT FRAGILE_ Bachman-Turner Overweight (Mercury) Formed by the least innovative ~nd

. at the cover an I starts pickin' my nose-an eatin' it, I do's that ever time l's . hasta think-trying to figure ,out the title of the dumb thing . Then I's start gettin' confused 'cause all I can see is "'June 1, 1974" an so'.s I starJ thinkin mabee this ain't no record, it's a freekin' new fangled calendar, then, . . Besides that : this thang is an uneven collection of 'live' moments captured for the sake of someone's posterity and preserved . on polyvinyl chloride for : $6.98. It ostensibly started out as a : s i m p Ie r e co rdfo g o "f a n o rm a I : run-a-the-mill Kevin Ayers concert, only : thing, Kevin decided to ask some of his : long time '7tjols along for an a la morte ' super-sessio~ . Which was his first mistake. Why? Simple, his idols make listening to the side of Ayers all by himself-actually he's with his back-up band, the Soporifics, which is a great name for a back-up band - practically impossible. In other words after listening to John Cale doing "Heartbreak Hotel;" Eno doing two of ·his songs, "Driving Me Backwards" and "Babie'•s on -Fire" culminated with an eight minute Halloween version of Jim Morrison's "The End" by Nico and her harmonium, who cares about Kevin - Ayers? The Eno material is erratic-to take this whole whizbang into the realm of 'objective' criticism-for the easy reason that on "Drivin' Me Backwards" he sings . Ii ke he's swallowing sandpaper and · ground glass, the song, itself being one of : the weaker efforts from his s~lo Here :Come the Warm Jets LP. So thatone's ' questionable. "Baby's on Fire" is a finely , dispersed message from the gutters of ' Soho. Nicely done. Now we get to the two finest events in , rock-on since the -Doors recor.ded : ' 1 'Celebration of the Lhard..." John 'cale '. has been warping out his musical : messages ever since his early days of 1~trying to scream plants to death . His solo \ P's, with "Paris 1919" being the most · realized, Cale vision to date, are extraordinary. So now John's decided to take on an all time classic oldie: "Heartbreak Hotel." A rocker? Nope. A dirge ior the fifties? Maybe. An image cif decrepitude and deprivation •as only Dorian Gray _couJd fathom? Getting 1 closer. Something to' lie in a Wafm tub of water and run a jagged piece of aluminum across your wrists? '!'.,eah, that's it. Cale's ·arrangement and his dry · vocalization : make this a tep contender to beat out : Lou Reed's Berlin LP for sheer • nastitude. I know it's only rock n' wreath but I LIKE IT!!! :16

17th STREET

have vaguely familiar titles like "Hangin' On" and . (get ready) "Rock and Roll Man." The only likeable aspect about this piece of. vinyl is the presence of a couple of Bowie-like vocals, and if you can . imagine ·him backed by a bad boogie band, you can imagine this album's high points. Perhaps they might be capable of whipping together some good material in the future, but as of now, I'm afraid these Heavy Metal Kids couldn't make it as featherweights. The only thin)l Trip records has ever been famous for is a single they rel~ased long ago. It was one of those two sided hits: Side A: "Pushin' Too Hard" by the unforgetable Seeds and "I Fought the Law" by the Bobby Fuller Four, Now, THAT'S a single, you can take all those Ben Edmunds, and Brian Wilso~ sonic-vomits and toss '.em in.to the cosmic debris when you loose an ear on this single. Anyhow, Trip must've had some real, and I mean real, early Hendrix tapes collecting dust on their sh;vles for years. One day, someone says, hey let's make us some coin. Be warned all yo' Hendrix fans this stuff is only for the most die-hard fanatics. It's all real crude sounds like it wa~ recorded around th~ time ·Jimi was just about to leave for the land of limeys and get experienced. The only surprise is a version of "Red Ho.use" never before heard and I. suppose that makes the whole thing worth it. But, why .bother when you can sit back and wait for Douglas records to release their collection of tapes with Hendrix jamming . J I with ohn McLaughlin, Hendrix jamming with Johnny Winter etc. Th.e wait'II be worth it, believe me. This .is just another golly- gee- he's- dead placebo! PHENOMENON U.F.O. (Chrysalis/Warners) What with all the legendary hype this group's been ·getting it's a let down to , find out that ·they won't make your ears and eyes bleed with feats •of heavy , mental mania, instead what you get is a gentle rE!hash of old Black Sabbath riffs and one good , song called, "Doctor THE GENIUS OF JIMI HENo'RIX Jimi Hendrix (Trip)+

. talented member of the original '' Guess Who, Randy Bachman's B-TO has surprisingly . become .the boogie band of the year. This new LP will undoubtedly carry them further in general ,popµlarity, which is . indeed unfortunate · because, simply, they STINK. Not _Fragile is another excursion into the , land of post-psychedelica: two ultra-heavy .guitars complemented by similarly h~av'y bass and migrane-inducing pounding drums. Add hoarse vocals and you have B-TO, a weighty combination that's not ·exactly a new idea, and even at that is not carried through with enough cirigin~lity or finess~ to make it all worthwhile. I was almost afraid to put it on at first; expecting to be blown into the wall - instead I was bored into the wall like an innocent metallic screw with titles like "Rock is My Life" (Yeesh ... ), "Sledgehammer" and "Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet." With so many good Canaidan bands that can rock 'n' roll with style (the defunct Wackers, Pagliaro and the in 7 redible Thunderniug), these yokels deserve ·to be chased down the street with .an electric cow prod. There are a million or so bands, 1 with unkno~~ m~sicians, that have played ir\ the British l'!;les from places like the Greyhound in the London area to the Patti Pavillion in Wales. Man·y of them \never see the inside of a recording studio and ,most of them d,on't deserve to. But one group that has made it to a studio are , the Heavy Metal Kids, a band that Dave ·Dee has ta'ken under Qis wing. Dee was the leader of a 60's group called Dave Dee, Dozy Beaky, Mick & Tick - roughly ) the British equivalent of the Morikees. This group doesn't sound like the Monke~s nor do they play anything resembl,ing heavy metal. Quite simply, the , l:-leavy ' Metal Kids are ' an average - competent boogie band, quite simi lar to the kind you would expect to play a high school dance if they were fi ye New Jersey kids. .There is really no need for a thorough track by track analysis, since all the Kids' songs sound quite alike and ) HEAVY METAL KIDS (Atc~/Atlantic)

...Oooh, I think it's in me ... ooh...now...hard~r..harder.•ooh Finally, the event to end all event's. The triumphant return, at least on record, of the chan~ueuse of . necrose, tlie landlady o;f lunacy, Nico: ·

Emerson,·Lake & Palmer (Manti core/Atlantic)

Wnile record companies keep harpin' on and on ' about the vinyl shortage to young an_d old alike, this thing turns up: the biggest, phoniest, cheapest money-making scheme imaginable. The recording. is lousy,· th'e pressing is flimsy, • and the package practically falls apart the moment you unwrap it. , · With the exception of ''Karn Evil 9," the performances. are qkay, but still not as good as the studio originals, so what's the _point? The songs are often .unbalanced, with Carl Palmer rushing everything, Greg J_ake dragging .everything into the ground, and Keith Emerson following whoever's in the lead at the moment. Lake's vocals are drab throughout the entire album, ·especially on his ballads "Take a Pebble," "Still ... You Turn Me On," and "Lucky Man." And his reve~berated singing only adds to the 1 band's electronic artificialness. Emersc;>n is sloppy within "Karn Evil 9," often coming in late and missing countless notes. And while Palmer's drum solos remain the· high p·oint of the album, he gets gain' just too fast for the rest of the ban,d, thus a huge letdown follows each solo when he's joined by Emerson and Lake. And if all this weren't enough, the cute little stereo effects destroy any hopes you might have had about grasping the feeling of actually being in the audience, thus abol ishing the main reason live albums exist. Despite its $12.98 list price (c;1nother reason why this live album exists), this album is absolutely worthless besides ELP's previous albums, which were much " more liste,nable than this ·guck. It's not

To have Nico do J im Morrison's "The End''. is momentous. Why? Because, you see, Nico used to date Morrison way back when, .and the amazing thing about it was the fact that she was able to completely dazzle Morrison with her madness ... as the story goes she kept staring at the tiles in the floor and Morrison wanted h.er to whip him and she wouldn't and Jim got all frustrated etc. etc. Anyway, I'm not _going to spoil the joy of letting you 'sit down and get your ass scared off by this song by getting into~ long and drawn out exegesis on the aesthetic importance of all this, simply take this hint: listen late at night with all the lights off and see if you can't stop yourself from screaming. Say, if there ~re any more records like this there might be som~ hope for decadence as a . cultural norm-I me~n seedier than it already is--,-yet. Whip on, bros. of the ni ht. -Joe Fernbacher

H.E.L.P. WELCOME BACK MY FR IENDS TO

high-energy trivia this time - it's solid, THE SHOW THAT NEVER ENDS - electric shit. And since when has there LADIES AN 1 D GENTLEMEN: EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER been a market for that? -Jim Bunnell SHAKIN' ST. GAZETTE t

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