Power of Parents Pocket Guide 2025

P O W E R OF PARENTS ® POCKET GUIDE

For Parents and Caring Adults of Middle School and High School Students Talking With Kids and Teens About Alcohol, Cannabis, and Other Drugs

What’s Inside

Table of Contents

Your Child’s World �� 2

What Style of Parent Are You? �� 7

Talking About Alcohol ��9

Helping Kids Make Good Choices ��14

Talking About Cannabis and Medications ��16

In Conclusion ��20

How To Use This Pocket Guide Because underage drinking and substance use poses special risks to young people and is illegal, this pocket guide urges parents to: Use the strategies recommended to talk with your child about alcohol, cannabis, and other substances, even if they don’t seem interested in experimenting. Mark passages that mean the most to you and commit to regularly using what you learn here. Practice and perform the exercises and see what beneficial changes come about. Actively monitor your kid’s daily activities and overall mental health wellness.

Set a family rule of no alcohol or cannabis use before age 21. Agree on consequences for breaking the no-use rule, including a safety plan to ensure your child always has a safe ride home.

1 Your Child’s World As children enter middle school and then high school, their maturing bodies grow at different rates, leading to social awkwardness. They may face the dilemma of who to become friends with and how to fit in. They encounter more responsibilities and demands at school and around the house, and they may also face new moral dilemmas about risky behaviors and substance use.

Their brain focuses on what’s happening right now, basing decisions on immediate emotions rather than what consequences may happen in the future as a result of their actions. When it comes to alcohol, kids may know some risks, but their experience can have more impact than facts. They may think, “My friend or parents drink and nothing bad has ever happened.” Do not assume facts or statistics will convince your child to avoid alcohol. It is important to have clear family rules about what to do if they are in a situation where alcohol becomes present.

Talk Soon LAUREN’S STORY

“Each time Lauren left our house with her dad’s car, he would say to her – ‘Lauren, don’t drink and drive’. How many parents do that each time their child leaves the house in their family car? Lauren’s response that night was – ‘Dad, I’m the designated driver tonight.’ – which is really silly because anyone under 21 shouldn’t be considered a designated driver since they aren’t supposed to

drink. Young drivers are also inexperienced, so they should never be a designated driver anyways even if they haven’t been drinking. Additionally, Lauren’s father and I’s conversation should never have been ‘don’t’ drink and drive’; it should have been don’t drink underage because it’s illegal and dangerous’.”

-Debbie Sausville reflecting on the tragic loss of her 16-year-old stepdaughter, who was killed in a single-vehicle, single-occupant crash after drinking underage at an unsupervised party.

Kids may not consciously plan to drink or use substances, but they may take an opportunity to experiment. For example, they may be hanging out with friends where alcohol is accessible and decide to open a bottle because there are no adults around. “binge” drinking Young people tend to engage in intense drinking, called “binge” drinking.

For girls, binge drinking means having 3 DRINKS within 2 hours.

For boys, binge drinking means having 4 DRINKS within 2 hours.

The risks of binge drinking are significant. Teens who binge drink are more likely to experience physical harm, face unwanted sexual advances, or sustain serious injuries. Binge drinking also increases the likelihood of impaired driving, riding with an impaired driver, having unprotected sex, and exposure to STDs.

ARE YOU MAKING THIS ASSUMPTION?

Know The Real Facts.

We Assume

My child knows the negative effects of alcohol.

They won’t listen to me at this point.

The Facts

Leading national surveys reveal that parents are the number one source that kids turn to for important information. Parents can influence

Although most kids do learn about alcohol in their health classes, research shows that many important issues never get covered. School programs alone are not enough to stop youth from drinking.

their child’s decision not to drink alcohol.

We Assume It’s too early. My child is not interested in drinking.

We Assume

We Assume My child’s friends are good kids who do not drink alcohol.

My child is too busy to experiment with substances.

The Facts

Busy schedules don’t make kids immune to peer pressure. As they get older, even structured activities - like sports - can increase their exposure to alcohol.

About 1 in 10 of 8th graders have drunk alcohol in the past 30 days.

According to data from a Monitoring the Future national survey, about 1 in 4 8th graders have tried alcohol.

What Style of Parent Are You? PARENTS DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Despite how you may feel sometimes, research shows that parents are an important influence on whether or not their child chooses to drink alcohol or try other substances. Kids do care about their parents’ opinions. They tend to respond well to a positive parenting style. In contrast, many studies show that authoritarian, overprotective, and permissive parenting can lead to negative outcomes. The strategies recommended in this pocket guide are compatible with the positive parenting style.

To take our online parenting styles quiz, visit madd.org/powerofparents.

PERMISSIVE

AUTHORITARIAN

Parent gives in; “kids will be kids.” When they drink illegally, kids of permissive style parents tend to have significantly higher than average blood alcohol levels compared to other underage drinkers. Parent uses their authority to strengthen and protect (not control) the teen. They build trust and teach decision making skills. When a child of positive style parents does drink illegally, they tend to consume significantly less alcohol than a child of other parenting styles. POSITIVE/ AUTHORITATIVE

Parent gives orders; “my way or the highway.” Compared with all young people who drink illegally, children of authoritarian style parents tend to consume

the most dangerously high levels of alcohol.

OVERPROTECTIVE

Parent stays in control; parent rushes in & teens do not face consequences of actions. Teens of overprotective parents

may not be as likely to drink illegally than

teens of authoritarian or permissive, but are more likely to consume alcohol than teens of positive style parents.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Positive parenting strategies can help empower kids to avoid underage substance use.

Talking About Alcohol

The first step in talking about alcohol is simply getting started. Often, the conversation takes more than one sitting and evolves over time. As a parent, you must take active steps to start this conversation. Suggest to your teen that you would like to talk. Don’t expect the teen to agree. In fact, many teens respond negatively.

Questions that start with “how,” “what,” and “why” can encourage an exchange of ideas.

TOPIC: The physical effects of alcohol on the body

HOW How do you think drinking helps or hurts your body? WHAT What physical activities do you want to do in the future that drinking could hurt? WHY Why do you think some young people drink if they can get hurt?

TOPIC: How drinking affects decisions

HOW How do you think drinking affects choices young people make? WHAT What problems can happen when young people choose to drink? WHY Why do you think some young people drink if it can have a negative impact on their choices?

HOW How does drinking before the age of 21 affect someone? WHAT What answers could kids give if they’re pushed to drink before 21? WHY Why do you think some people would start drinking before 21? TOPIC Drinking before 21

SETTING THE SCENE

1 Talk About Their Interests: Regularly discuss topics that matter to your teen. This builds trust and makes serious discussions easier.

2 Ask Permission to Start Conversations: Begin by asking, “Is it okay if I ask you a question?” This sets a collaborative tone. 4 Listen Without Interruption: Give your teen space to speak freely, showing respect and fostering openness.

3 Pick the Right Time:

Avoid forcing conversations when your teen isn’t receptive. Wait for a better time when they’re open to talking.

5 Suspend Judgment: Focus on understanding rather than criticizing. Your attitude while listening is key to effective communication. 7 Emphasize Common Goals: Remind your teen you’re on the same team and want the best for them.

6 Speak with Respect: Acknowledge your teen’s

feelings, value their perspective, and use positive body language to convey your support.

8 Avoid Lecturing or Debating: Approach discussions as opportunities to connect rather than win arguments.

RIDING WITH AN IMPAIRED DRIVER Research shows, even kids that don’t intend to ride with a driver who has been drinking or using substances may be “willing” in some circumstances. For example, they might be willing to get in the car if they feel responsible for helping a friend stay out of trouble or not get hurt. Someday your child may be faced with this decision, and it’s important to set clear family rules.

When talking about impaired driving, remember to:

Discuss the dangers of impaired driving, for drivers AND passengers.

Teach them how to identify signs of impairment.

Encourage alternatives like calling a trusted adult for a ride.

Remind them there are no shortcuts to sobering up.

Stress that they need to call 911 in an emergency.

Honesty is important, and you should not lie to your child. You could say: CHILD PARENT

“Did you drink when you were young?”

“Yes, I did, and I regret it. I want you to be better informed than I was at your age and make safer choices.”

THE BOTTOM LINE: Listen attentively and keep an open mind. If tensions rise, pause the conversation and revisit it later with a calmer mindset.

5 REASONS THAT YOUTH RESPECT

Naturally, teens will want to know WHY they should not drink. Explaining the why goes a long way in a youth’s decision-making process.

Most kids know it is illegal to drink or use cannabis under the age of 21. State clearly that you expect your child to obey the law. Underage drinking and cannabis use is illegal. Research shows that the younger a person starts drinking, the greater the chance they will develop alcohol problems later in life. Drinking might lead to alcohol use disorder. Kids who are drinking are more vulnerable to dangerous situations, like sexual or physical assault. Drinking can put you at risk of assault. Heavy drinking can damage the liver, kidneys, brain, and heart, all with serious long-term consequences. Drinking can shorten your lifespan. Consuming alcohol can lead to sickness, blackouts, overdose, or even death. Remind your child that alcohol poisoning can happen suddenly and with little warning. Drinking can cause serious consequences.

4 Helping Kids 7 out of 10 teens

Make Good Choices Many teens choose to drink because they assume everyone else is doing it and that it’s an acceptable thing to do. However, studies show that:

8 out of 10 teens

8 out of 10 teenagers don’t use cannabis

7 out of 10 teenagers don’t drink alcohol

You can empower your child by talking to them about ways they can say no without feeling weird or left out. Talk with them about the strategies below for responding if they are offered substances.

Simply say no

“No thanks.”

“It’s not my thing.”

“I’d rather have a soda.”

“Let’s get a smoothie instead.”

Offer an alternative

“I have an early game tomorrow.”

“I can’t, I’m driving tonight.”

Make an excuse

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

“What movie do you want to watch?”

Change the subject

Take a stand

“I don’t drink.”

“I don’t smoke.”

ENFORCING CONSEQUENCES Even the best laid plans go awry. As the parent, it’s your job to enforce the consequences of the agreement you and your child made. Because underage substance use poses such a serious threat to their safety, you must take it seriously. HIGH QUALITY AGREEMENTS A good agreement is clear and understood by all. But rules are broken when they only reflect the parent’s wishes. Agreements work best in strong relationships built on mutual trust, honesty, responsibility, and care. MADD urges you to make the following agreements with your child: • No drinking alcohol or using cannabis before age 21. • No socializing in places where kids are drinking alcohol or using cannabis. • No riding in a car with a driver who has had any amount of an impairing substance. VALUABLE FRIENDSHIPS The friends your child surrounds themselves with have a big impact on their choices too. Encourage them to have healthy friendships and avoid high risk situations by: • Monitoring social activities and supervising parties. • Including friends you disapprove of in family activities to get to know the friend and share your family values. Don’t ban a friend. • Encouraging your child to participate in activities where they can meet friends with positive values.

DO: Impose fair, clear consequences. Talk to them about the mistake and make a plan for next time. Be firm and consistent.

DON’T: Act out of anger or impose unfair punishments.

5 Talking About Cannabis and Medications Next to alcohol, cannabis is the most used substance among youth. In 2022, 3 out of 10 US high school 12th graders reported using cannabis in the past year. Did you know that the average THC content of cannabis today can be more than 100x stronger than THC in cannabis in the 90s?

90s CANNABIS TODAY’S CANNABIS

100X STRONGER

Cannabis contains a chemical called THC. When THC enters the brain by smoking, vaping, or eating edible cannabis (e.g., candy or brownie), it influences chemical reactions that create the “high” while also altering communication between the brain and the rest of the body. These alterations can seriously affect movement and coordination, sensation, pain, emotions, judgment, decision-making, memory, and appetite. Young people’s brains continue to develop until their mid-20s. As a result, cannabis affects them differently than adults.

RESEARCH SHOWS

Approximately 3 in 10 people who use cannabis have cannabis use disorder.

Teen who use cannabis are more likely to report decreases in brain volume, poor attention and verbal skills, and self-regulatory behaviors.

It’s never too late to talk to your child about the dangers of cannabis use.

The more parents talk with their children about alcohol and cannabis use, the less likely they are to use them in combination and experience consequences.

In 2023, nearly 1 in 10 high school students Have taken a prescription pain medicine without a doctor’s prescription or differently than how a doctor told them to use it.

MEDICATIONS

Prescription drugs and many over-the-counter drugs, when used properly under a doctor’s supervision, are

generally safe. However, they can pose a threat to kids and adults alike; when taken at the wrong times, when not taken according to the correct dosage, or if taken by someone else, it can lead to abuse, addiction, and even death. It is important to teach

kids that medicines taken properly come with benefits and may still have risks; but if taken improperly, those risks are much greater. Reiterate these important safety tips to your children, when it comes to medications: someone else or share your own. 1 2 Never take more than is prescribed by your doctor. Always carefully follow the instructions for your medications. Never take a prescription medication that is for 3 Never mix medications with alcohol or other drugs. 4 Never ride with someone who you suspect is impaired.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Monitor kids’ activities.

(SAMHSA), almost half of teens say it is easy to get prescription drugs from a parent’s medicine cabinet. It is your responsibility as the adult of the house to safely store drugs in a place inaccessible by kids and teens. As a parent, you can help keep your child safe from prescription drugs by doing the following:

Recognize signs of misuse or abuse.

Keep medicines in a locked, safe place.

Share disapproval of prescription drug abuse.

6 In Conclusion Begin talking together about alcohol, cannabis, and medications. Enforce consequences when the rules are broken.

Listen to your child’s concerns respectfully and use positive parenting techniques.

Set clear no-use rules and agree on appropriate consequences for breaking those rules.

Regularly monitor your child’s whereabouts and the company they keep.

Discuss short-term and long-term risks of underage alcohol and cannabis use.

Reinforce that they should never ride in a car with someone who has been using any amount of an impairing substance.

Help your child plan how to deal with social pressure to drink alcohol or use cannabis.

Support the 21 Minimum Drinking Age Law.

The Bottom Line

Alcohol is the most commonly used substance among youth, surpassing all illicit drugs combined. MADD’s Power of Parents handbooks, based on Dr. Turrisi’s research, have been shown to reduce underage drinking by up to 30% when followed. These research-backed strategies help parents navigate critical conversations about alcohol and other substances with their children. By talking early and often, parents can help prevent dangerous and even deadly consequences of alcohol, cannabis, and other drug use for youth. These ongoing conversations are key to keeping youth, families, and communities safe.

30% reduction in underage drinking

HALT Drunk Driving Law Protect Your Teen. Support Lifesaving Change. As parents, we do everything we can to keep our teens safe—but right now, drunk driving remains the deadliest threat on our roads. That’s why MADD is leading the charge with the HALT Drunk Driving Law—a groundbreaking law that requires advanced technology in all new cars that will detect and stop drunk drivers. The next generation of vehicles can stop drunk drivers before they ever put your teen at risk.

Join MADD in the fight to end drunk driving for good. Learn more about the HALT Law and how you can help drive change to protect your teen’s future. Take action today: Visit madd.org/halt

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS MADD is grateful to Robert Turrisi, Ph.D. and his colleagues at Pennsylvania State University for their partnership in this handbook. Dr. Turrisi has spent decades working with families and researching how parents can talk effectively about alcohol and other substances with their children. This handbook draws from this work and the body of scientific knowledge in the field.

National Contributing Partner

National Supporting Sponsor

Preventing underage drinking requires a shared commitment, and MADD is grateful for the General Motors’ partnership with the Power of Parents program. With their support, we are equipping more families with the resources they need to have open and honest conversations about alcohol and other drugs and their risks.

The mission of Mothers Against Drunk Driving® is to end drunk and drugged driving, support the victims of these violent crimes and prevent underage drinking and other drug use.

Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24

Made with FlippingBook - PDF hosting