Power of Parents TopicalGuide5 DiscussionCompanion 2025

TOPICAL GUIDE #5 POWER OF PARENTS®

Discussion Companion

What’s Inside Table of Contents

Set the Law �� 3

Highlight the Truth �� 5

Explain the Risks ��7

Be Clear on Your Rules ��9

Discuss Motivations �� 11

Brainstorm Peer Pressure Solutions ��13

Create a Family Safety Agreement ��16

The Bottom Line ��17

How To Use This Topical Guide

Underage drinking and cannabis use poses a special risk to young people. It’s illegal and dangerous. This topical guide urges parents to:

SET A FAMILY RULE of no alcohol or cannabis use before age 21.

TALK EARLY AND OFTEN Use strategies recommended to talk with your child about alcohol and cannabis, even if it does not seem like they are interested in them.

AGREE ON CONSEQUENCES for breaking the no-use rule; enforce “zero tolerance.”

This is the fifth and final in a series of topical guides. Read the other topical guides and download MADD’s full parent handbook at madd.org/powerofparents.

Acknowledgments Mothers Against Drunk Driving® is grateful to Robert Turrisi, Ph.D., and his colleagues at The Pennsylvania State University for their partnership in this handbook. Dr. Turrisi has spent decades researching how parents can talk effectively with teens about alcohol and cannabis. This handbook draws from his work and from scientific knowledge in this field from all over the world.

Nationwide is the proud National Presenting Sponsor of Power of Parents. “As a company committed to protecting people, businesses, and futures with extraordinary care, there is no more important work that aligns with our values than keeping our roadways, families, and communities safe. Thank you for your commitment to preventing underage substance use and impaired driving. Nationwide is proud to stand with you on this lifesaving mission.

Set the Law

Why 21? Does the number actually matter? Yes, it matters more than most teens (and many adults) realize! Alcohol and recreational cannabis use is illegal for those under age 21 in the US because the adolescent brain is still developing well into the mid-20s. Underage alcohol and cannabis use is proven to be harmful and dangerous to the developing brain. Starting alcohol or cannabis use before age 21 increases the risk of addiction, poor decision-making, and other long-term consequences.

The minimum legal drinking age of 21 is based on decades of research showing it saves lives and protects the health of our youth. According to the CDC, minimum

legal drinking age laws, along with zero tolerance laws, help reduce alcohol- related crashes and keep young brains safer during key years of development. Even if your teen feels “mature enough,” their brain is still under construction. Setting this boundary at home reinforces the law… and your love. Your message matters. Be clear, confident, and consistent.

Try saying: “I love you and want you to have the brightest future possible. That’s why in our family we don’t drink or use cannabis before 21, no exceptions.”

CONVERSATION STARTERS:

“Why do you think some teens choose to use before 21?”

“What would you say if a friend tried to convince you it’s not a big deal?”

“What do you think the law is really trying to protect?”

HAVE YOUR TEEN FINISH THE STORY: Emily, 18, is a senior and the youngest of three sisters. She tells her parents that she plans to go to parties this year and even admits to knowing that alcohol will be present. She promises never to drive impaired or get in a car with someone who has been drinking—she just wants to be honest and open.

• What could Emily’s parents say in response? • What are some of the risks Emily might still face? • How could this conversation continue in a positive and respectful way?

ask

your

teen

Highlight the Truth

Young people tend to overestimate how many other kids their age are drinking alcohol or are using cannabis and other drugs. Most of your child’s peers are NOT drinking. According to the CDC, most high school students do not currently use alcohol, cannabis, or

any other drugs. In fact, the percentage of teens who report drinking, binge drinking, or using cannabis has been going down over the past decade.

Let your teen know: they’re not alone in

making healthy choices. Most teens are actually making smart decisions and sticking to them.

Try saying:

“You might feel like everyone is doing it, but most teens aren’t. Saying no doesn’t make you weird—it makes you strong.”

CONVERSATION STARTERS:

“Have you ever felt like you were the only one not drinking or doing drugs?”

“What would you say to a friend who thinks drinking is what everyone does?”

“Where do you think those assumptions come from?”

HAVE YOUR TEEN FINISH THE STORY: Kiery, 16, is going to a party with three close friends. They agree ahead of time not to drink. But when they arrive, another friend greets them and hands them all cups filled with red punch. Everyone else is drinking, and Kiery feels unsure.

• What could Kiery do next? • How might peer pressure play a role in that moment? • What would you do if you were Kiery?

ask

your

teen

Explain the Risks A lot of teens think they can handle it. They see alcohol and cannabis as no big deal, especially compared to other drugs. But the truth is, both

memory, attention, and impulse control. And when teens are under the influence, they’re much more likely to take risks they normally wouldn’t, like driving impaired, getting into unsafe situations, or making choices they later regret. Even occasional use can affect school performance, relationships, and mental health.

substances can seriously interfere with how a young brain grows, learns, and makes decisions. The brain keeps developing until around age 25. Alcohol and cannabis can slow that process down—impacting

“You might feel fine at the moment, but these substances are changing how your brain works and those changes can stick with you.” Try saying:

CONVERSATION STARTERS:

“Have you ever seen someone act totally different when they were drunk or high?”

“How do you think it affects decision- making or memory?”

“What do you think alcohol or cannabis actually does to the brain?”

HAVE YOUR TEEN FINISH THE STORY: Connor, 17, just got his driver’s license and promises to be the designated driver for his friends. He says he’ll never drive impaired. But at a party, he sees his friends drinking and joking about whether “just a little” is really that big of a deal.

• What kind of pressure might Connor feel in that situation? • What could he say or do to stick to his promise? • What would you want him to do— and how could his parents help support that?

ask

your

teen

Be Clear on Your Rules

Do they actually know the rules? Sometimes we assume our teens know all of our expectations but they may not. That’s why it’s so important to be direct and clear. What are your rules when it comes to alcohol and cannabis? What will happen if those rules are broken? Teens feel more secure when boundaries are clear and consistent, even if they push against them. They’re also more likely to follow the rules when they know exactly where the lines are and why those lines exist. Talk openly about your values and your reasons. Let your teen help create fair, meaningful consequences. The goal isn’t to scare or shame them; it’s to build trust, reduce risk, and show them that safety is a shared priority.

Try saying:

“I want you to have fun and be independent, but our family rule is no drinking alcohol or using cannabis before 21. If you break this rule, there will be consequences because your safety is my number one priority.”

CONVERSATION STARTERS:

“In your own words, what are our rules around alcohol and cannabis?”

“What is a fair consequence if they were broken?”

“Why do you think we have those rules?”

HAVE YOUR TEEN FINISH THE STORY: Sam, 15, just got caught at a friend’s house where alcohol was present. They didn’t drink, but their parents are still upset that they were in that situation. Sam feels it’s unfair, they followed the rule not to drink. The parents say the rule was about avoiding those parties altogether.

• What do you think the parents should do? • What conversation should they have with Sam? • What should the rules and consequences be going forward?

ask

your

teen

Discuss Motivations Why do some teens still do it?

Teens don’t usually drink or use cannabis just to rebel. More often, they’re trying to fit in, cope with stress, feel less anxious, or just

have fun. Understanding what’s behind the choice can help you have a more honest,

supportive conversation. You might hear things like: “It helps me relax.” “Everyone else is doing it.” “It makes parties more fun.”

“It keeps me from feeling so anxious.” “I just wanted to see what it was like.” “I was so overwhelmed; I didn’t know what else to do.” Once you know their “why,” you can help them find safer ways to meet those needs—whether it’s joining a club, getting exercise, finding someone to talk to, or just doing something that brings real joy (and not just a temporary high).

Try saying:

“I get that you want to have fun or feel less stressed—but let’s talk about ways to do that without putting your health and safety at risk.”

CONVERSATION STARTERS:

“What are other ways to relax or have fun that don’t involve substances?”

“When you’re feeling overwhelmed or pressured, what helps? Is there anything I can do to support you?”

“Why do you think some people your age turn to alcohol or cannabis?”

HAVE YOUR TEEN FINISH THE STORY: Jordan, 16, just had a tough week. Between school stress, a fight with a friend, and not making the team, they’re feeling overwhelmed. Jordan isn’t usually the type to mess with drugs, but he is so burnt out from everything going on that he considers taking something from his parent’s medicine cabinet to try and relax.

• What are some of the things that could go wrong if he took a random pill? • What are some better ways he could relax or destress? • Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you’ve considered something like this? What did/would you do?

ask

your

teen

Brainstorm Peer Pressure Solutions

What would you do in the moment? Even teens who have no intention of drinking or using cannabis can find themselves in situations where it’s offered or expected. It’s way more complicated than “just saying no”. There’s a lot to learn—like how to say it, what to say instead, or how to leave safely. That’s why it helps to practice. Talk through different scenarios together so your teen has a few go-to responses ready. It’s not about scripting every situation, it’s about building confidence to stick to their values when it matters most. Help them come up with ideas like: “No thanks, I’m good.” “I’m the driver tonight.” “My parents would kill me—and I actually care about that.” “Not my thing, but I’m cool if you’re doing your thing.” Calling or texting you for a safe way out.

Try saying: “You don’t have to come up with the perfect line. Just have something ready so you’re not caught off guard.”

CONVERSATION STARTERS:

“What could help you feel more confident in those moments?”

“What would you do if someone passed you a drink or an edible at a party?”

“Have you ever been in a situation where it felt hard to say no?”

HAVE YOUR TEEN FINISH THE STORY: Lena, 17, is hanging out at a friend’s house after a football game. Someone pulls out a vape and offers her a hit, saying, “It’s just weed, everybody does it.” Lena freezes. She doesn’t want to be weird, but she also doesn’t want to use it.

• What could Lena say or do to turn down the offer without feeling embarrassed? • What would you do in that situation? • Can you give me an example of an ACTIVE refusal and a PASSIVE refusal?

ask

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teen

You’ve talked about rules, risks, and pressure. There’s one more thing that could save your teen’s life: a clear plan to never get in a car with someone who’s been drinking or using cannabis and to never drive impaired themselves. Even if they make good choices, other people might not. Let your teen know that no matter what, they can call you for a safe ride, no questions asked in the moment. Create a plan together now so they’re never stuck in a risky situation later.

SAFETY FIRST, EVERYTIME.

Create a Family Safety Agreement

Writing down your family’s rules and expectations can make a big difference. It shows your teen that these conversations matter— and helps hold everyone accountable. Here are a few sample rules you can customize together: RULE: No drinking alcohol or using cannabis before 21. CONSEQUENCE:

RULE: No riding in a car with an impaired driver. CONSEQUENCE:

RULE: No attending parties where alcohol, cannabis, or other drugs are present. CONSEQUENCE:

RULE ( create your own ): CONSEQUENCE:

Fill in this page together. It’s not a contract—it’s a conversation tool. One that says: “I care about you, I trust you, and I want you to be safe.”

The Bottom Line

youth—more than all other illicit substances combined. MADD’s Power of Parents handbooks are based on the latest research by Robert Turrisi, PhD at Penn State University, which, when followed, has shown up to a 30% reduction in underage drinking. The research-based principles and materials are useful to help parents have the critical discussions about alcohol as well as cannabis and other substances with their children—from middle school through high school.

Talking with your teen about alcohol and cannabis doesn’t have to happen all at once—and it doesn’t have to be perfect. What matters most is that you keep showing up. You’ve set the foundation. Now keep building trust and reinforcing the message. They are ready… how are you preparing them to think ahead and speak up? This series of resources can help parents substantially reduce the chance that their child will drink alcohol and use cannabis before the age of 21. Alcohol is the substance most commonly used by

30% reduction in underage drinking

Download MADD’s full parent handbook at madd.org/ powerofparents for more tips and strategies for having critical conversations with your child about alcohol and other drugs.

By talking to children early and often, parents can prevent dangerous and deadly consequences from

alcohol and other substances. These intentional, ongoing and life-changing conversations will help keep youth, families and entire communities healthy and safe.

HALT Drunk Driving Law As parents, we do everything we can to keep our teens safe— but right now, drunk driving remains the deadliest threat on our roads. That’s why MADD is leading the charge with the HALT Drunk Driving Law—a groundbreaking law that requires advanced technology in all new cars that will detect and stop drunk drivers. The next generation of vehicles can stop drunk drivers before they ever put your teen at risk.

Join MADD in the fight to end drunk driving for good. Learn more about the HALT Law and how you can help drive change to protect your teen’s future. Take action today: Visit madd.org/halt

National Presenting Sponsor

National Contributing Partner

National Supporting Partner

Preventing underage drinking requires a shared commitment, and MADD is grateful for General Motors’ partnership with the Power of Parents program. With their support, we are equipping more families with the resources they need to have open and honest conversations about alcohol and other drugs and their risks.

MADD’s mission is to end drunk and drugged driving, support the victims of these violent crimes, and prevent underage drinking and other drug use.

madd.org/powerofparents 877.ASK.MADD 24-hour Helpline: 877.MADD.HELP

511 E. John Carpenter Freeway Suite 200 Irving, TX 75062

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