TOPICAL GUIDE #3 POWER OF PARENTS®
Talking About Alcohol & Other Drugs
What’s Inside
Table of Contents
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Starting the Conversation ����������������������������������������� 3
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Conversation Topics ���������������������������������������������������� 4
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Talking so Your Child Will Listen �������������������������������5
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Cannabis and Other Drugs �����������������������������������������7
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Reasons to Respect ������������������������������������������������������9
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Getting Your Child to Talk ������������������������������������������11
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Facts Worth Sharing ��������������������������������������������������13
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Consequences �������������������������������������������������������������15
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The Bottom Line �����������������������������������������������������������17
How To Use This Topical Guide
Underage drinking and cannabis use poses a special risk to young people. It’s illegal and dangerous. This topical guide urges parents to:
SET A FAMILY RULE of no alcohol or cannabis use before age 21.
TALK EARLY AND OFTEN Use strategies recommended to talk with your child about alcohol and cannabis, even if it does not seem like they are interested in them.
AGREE ON CONSEQUENCES for breaking the no-use rule; enforce “zero tolerance.”
This is the third in a series of topical guides. Read the other topical guides and download MADD’s full parent handbook at madd.org/powerofparents.
Acknowledgments Mothers Against Drunk Driving® is grateful to Robert Turrisi, Ph.D., and his colleagues at The Pennsylvania State University for their partnership in this resource. Dr. Turrisi has spent decades researching how parents can talk effectively with teens about alcohol and cannabis. This resource draws from his work and from scientific knowledge in this field from all over the world.
Nationwide Insurance is the proud National Presenting Sponsor of Power of Parents . “As a company committed to protecting people, businesses, and futures with extraordinary care, there is no more important work that aligns with our values than keeping our roadways, families, and communities safe. Thank you for your commitment to preventing underage substance use and impaired driving. Nationwide is proud to stand with you on this lifesaving mission.”
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Starting the Conversation As a parent, you play a critical role in preventing your child from using alcohol, cannabis, or other substances. The key is having high-quality conversations. Research shows that parents who prepare for these discussions are far more effective in guiding their children’s choices.
DID YOU KNOW?
Kids who start drinking young are seven times more likely to be in an alcohol- related crash.
Adolescent drinkers have an increased risk of social problems, depression, suicidal thoughts and violence.
About 1 in 10 people who use cannabis may become addicted to it — and 1 in 6 when use begins before age 18.
High school students who use alcohol or other substances are five times more likely to drop out of school or believe good grades aren’t important.
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Conversation Topics Here are some topics you can use to guide your discussions using the how, what and why approach.
HOW: How do you think alcohol or cannabis helps or hurts the body? WHAT: What physical activities do you want to do in the future that alcohol or cannabis could hurt? WHY: Why is it important to take good care of your body? The effects of alcohol and cannabis on the body
How alcohol and cannabis affect decision-making
HOW: How do you think alcohol or cannabis affects choices young people make? WHAT: What problems can happen when young people choose to drink alcohol or use cannabis? WHY: Why do you think some young people use alcohol or cannabis if it can have negative impacts?
Underage Substance Use
HOW: How does drinking alcohol or using cannabis before the age of 21 affect someone? WHAT: What could you say to someone who is pushing alcohol or cannabis on you? WHY: Why do you think someone
would start drinking or using cannabis before they’re 21?
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Talking So Your Child Will Listen The following strategies will help you communicate most effectively. Pick a time to speak when you can have each other’s undivided attention. Don’t discuss important things when one of you is absorbed in another activity or has another place to be. Choose a good time.
Listen.
Communicate directly.
Allow your child to speak without interruption. Sometimes it’s good to paraphrase where you don’t agree, or interpret back: “Let me see if I understand you. It sounds like you feel that…”
Open the conversation with a direct statement. “I’d like to talk to you about alcohol and other drugs. Is now a good time?”
Avoid communication “stoppers.”
These are single, sometimes threatening statements that shut down any response: “I better not catch you drinking.”
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Remind them that you are on their side. Emphasize common goals and use them as a basis for your guidance and suggestions, i.e. remind your child that you both want them to stay healthy and safe. Emphasize common goals.
Agree to step away.
Agree to temporarily stop talking if things don’t go well. Wait until both individuals
can talk in a calm, direct fashion. Recognize that conflict is natural.
Use appropriate body language.
Avoid debate.
Sometimes teens feel they must “defend” a position. If you find yourselves debating, try suggesting that you both approach matters from a different angle. Avoid statements that begin with “you” that make the other person feel attacked: “You did this…”
How you position yourself physically while you talk can send important messages about your attitudes or express something you are not trying to convey. Don’t look away or slouch down. Nod your head in agreement.
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Cannabis and Other Drugs
Many parents feel confident talking about alcohol but aren’t sure how to bring up cannabis or medication misuse. Still, these are key parts of the conversation. Next to alcohol, cannabis is the most commonly misused substance by teens, and it’s far more potent today than it was in past generations. In fact, cannabis sold legally today can contain over 25% THC, compared to just 2–4% in the 1990s. This increase in potency has led to greater risks: teens who use cannabis are more likely to experience memory issues, mental health challenges, and addiction.
90s CANNABIS THC Content: 2-4% TODAY’S CANNABIS THC Content: 25-90%
100X STRONGER
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Talking about alcohol and cannabis is more than a one-time conversation. It’s not a box to check once. It’s an ongoing, intentional and potentially lifesaving dialogue. Talk early, talk often. TALK OFTEN!
1 in 4
teens have reported taking a prescription drug not prescribed to them.
Roughly 1 in 3 youth who drink alcohol also use cannabis at the same time, leading to two to three times more problems. Teens may also misuse prescription or over-the-counter medications to get high, concentrate, or manage stress, often with easy access from a parent’s medicine cabinet. Nearly 1 in 4 teens have reported taking a prescription drug not prescribed to them, and almost half say it’s easy to get them at home. That’s why it’s critical to talk with your teen not only about alcohol and cannabis, but also about the very real dangers of medication misuse.
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Reasons to Respect Here are some reasons that many youth respect and share as to why they choose not to drink.
to court, they may have to take time off from work and lose pay. Kids rarely consider all the possible legal consequences. Discussing the implications of an arrest can help deter underage drinking. REASON 2: Drinking Can Make You Sick or Pass Out Alcohol irritates the lining of the digestive system. Drinking too much alcohol can make people vomit and feel bad for days (a condition known as a “hangover”). Other kids don’t want to be around someone who is sick or passes out from too much drinking. Remind your child that alcohol sickness can happen suddenly and with little warning.
REASON 1: Underage Drinking is Illegal
Most kids know it is illegal to drink under the age of 21. Still, they may assume they won’t get caught or they are unfamiliar with zero tolerance laws, which prohibit driving after drinking any amount of alcohol. Remind them that police do receive complaints about parties. When police arrive, they may arrest anyone who is suspected of underage substance use. State clearly that you expect your child to obey the law. Discuss the potential consequences for breaking the law, such as, they could have their license revoked or face expensive legal fees. If they are charged and expected to go
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REASON 3: Drinking May Make You Vulnerable Youth who are drinking are more vulnerable to dangerous situations and often can’t escape or protect themselves from the threat of rape or assault. Your child probably trusts the people they are around, and you may trust them too, but alcohol can turn situations dangerous. 85% of women who have been sexually assaulted were assaulted by someone they knew. REASON 4: Underage Drinking Can Lead to Addiction No one aspires to have an alcohol abuse problem. Yet most people believe they can control their drinking and will not become an alcoholic themselves.
Research clearly shows, however, that the younger a person starts drinking, the greater the chance they will develop alcohol problems later in life. Adults who started drinking at age 15 or 16 are five times more likely to be diagnosed with alcohol dependence as adults who started drinking after age 21.
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Getting Your Child to Talk After working on how to talk so your child will listen, the next challenge is getting them to open up. Many parents feel like their child’s vocabulary is limited to phrases like, “I dunno,” “whatever,” or “not now”—maybe even accompanied by an eye roll. Kids may respond this way when they’re tired, distracted, or simply not in the mood. Sometimes, they worry a conversation will turn into a lecture, nagging, or that their parents just won’t understand. The key is creating an environment where they feel comfortable sharing.
CLARIFY FACTS AND OPINIONS Keep distinctions between facts and opinions. Say things like: “My opinion is...” or “My opinion is based on these facts and observations.”
ASK THEIR THOUGHTS AND LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGMENT Hold back on criticism to encourage honest dialogue. Use well- timed silence; pausing can prompt your child to share more!
SEEK DISCUSSION, DON’T LECTURE Share your own experiences to create a two-way dialogue.
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RESPECT THEIR MOOD Don’t force conversations when they’re not ready. Wait for a better moment and try again.
TALK DAILY ABOUT WHAT MATTERS TO THEM Build trust through every day conversations.
KEEP IT BRIEF Avoid long-winded statements. Short comments invite more engagement.
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Facts Worth Sharing
Prepare for the conversation by knowing some general facts about underage drinking and cannabis use.
BINGE DRINKING IS BAD NEWS: Binge drinking is when someone drinks a large amount of alcohol in a short period of time. This kind of consumption is more likely to lead to overdose, assault, serious injury, and impaired driving.
For males, binge drinking means having 4 DRINKS within 2 hours.
For females, binge drinking means having 3 DRINKS within 2 hours.
YOUNG PEOPLE DRINK DIFFERENTLY: Research shows that when young people drink, they’re much more likely to binge drink than to drink casually—and underage drinkers consume over 90% of the alcohol they drink during binge episodes, far higher than among adults over 21.
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Youth who drink alcohol before 21 are more likely to: • Face problems in school • Be at risk for physical or sexual assault • Abuse alcohol later in life • Drown or fall • Die in a vehicle crash
CANNABIS IS ADDICTIVE: THC, the main
ingredient in cannabis, stimulates brain cells to release dopamine, which creates a feeling of pleasure. One in six people who start using cannabis in their
teenage years will become addicted.
DRINKING UNDERAGE CAN HAVE LIFELONG EFFECTS: Individuals who start drinking at age 15 or 16 (or earlier) are five times more likely to be alcohol dependent later in life compared to those who started drinking after age 21.
“SOBERING UP FASTER” IS A MYTH: Once ingested, the liver starts to work trying to filter out the toxin of alcohol. It can only filter so much and work so fast. There is no proven way, other than time, to sober someone up faster. Coffee, exercise, fresh air, and showers do not speed up this process.
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Consequences As a parent, be ready to follow through and enforce consequences if your child violates a family rule against underage alcohol or cannabis use. Consequences are most effective when built on a foundation of trust and clear expectations. That’s why establishing strong parent-child agreements BEFORE your child slips up is so important.
MAKE SURE THEY UNDERSTAND:
Your position on alcohol and other substances, impaired driving, and riding in a car with an impaired driver.
How you expect them to behave based on your family’s rules and values and WHY you take that position.
The consequences you will enforce if they break an agreement.
DON’T: Act out of anger or impose unfair punishments.
DO: Impose fair, clear consequences. Talk to them about the mistake and make a plan for next time. Be firm and consistent.
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Emphasize how quickly drinking can lead to dangerous results. That’s why you take underage substance use so seriously and are committed to enforcing these consequences to keep them safe.
Numerous studies show that the 21 minimum drinking age law has saved thousands of lives. There are no benefits to drinking underage. No matter where the study is conducted, the results are always the same. If drinking was helpful to young people, wouldn’t doctors and teachers recommend it? GET BEHIND 21
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The Bottom Line
youth—more than all other illicit substances combined. MADD’s Power of Parents handbooks are based on the latest research by Dr. Robert Turrisi, PhD at Penn State University, which, when followed, has shown up to a 30% reduction in underage drinking. The research-based principles and materials are useful to help parents have the critical discussions about alcohol as well as cannabis and other substances with their children—from middle school through high school.
When it comes to underage alcohol and cannabis use, your voice and your expectations matter. Be the steady guide your teen can count on, even when conversations are tough. Talk early. Talk often. Set clear rules. Follow through with calm, consistent consequences. They are learning... what are you teaching? This series of resources can help parents substantially reduce the chance that their child will drink alcohol and use cannabis before the age of 21. Alcohol is the substance most commonly used by
30% reduction in underage drinking
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Download MADD’s full parent handbook at madd.org/ powerofparents for more tips and strategies for having critical conversations with your child about alcohol and other drugs.
By talking to children early and often, parents can prevent dangerous and deadly consequences from
alcohol and other substances. These intentional, ongoing and life-changing conversations will help keep youth, families and entire communities healthy and safe.
HALT Drunk Driving Law As parents, we do everything we can to keep our teens safe— but right now, drunk driving remains the deadliest threat on our roads. That’s why MADD is leading the charge with the HALT Drunk Driving Law—a groundbreaking law that requires advanced technology in all new cars that will detect and stop drunk drivers. The next generation of vehicles can stop drunk drivers before they ever put your teen at risk.
Join MADD in the fight to end drunk driving for good. Learn more about the HALT Law and how you can help drive change to protect your teen’s future. Take action today: Visit madd.org/halt
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National Presenting Sponsor
National Contributing Partner
National Supporting Partner
Preventing underage drinking requires a shared commitment, and MADD is grateful for General Motors’ partnership with the Power of Parents program. With their support, we are equipping more families with the resources they need to have open and honest conversations about alcohol and other drugs and their risks.
MADD’s mission is to end drunk and drugged driving, support the victims of these violent crimes, and prevent underage drinking and other drug use.
madd.org/powerofparents 877.ASK.MADD 24-hour Helpline: 877.MADD.HELP
511 E. John Carpenter Freeway Suite 200 Irving, TX 75062
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