Power of Parents ® Middle School Handbook
Chapter 4
Getting Your Child to Talk After working on how to talk so your child will listen, the next challenge is getting them to open up. Many parents feel like their middle schooler’s vocabulary is limited to phrases like, “I dunno,” “whatever,” or “not now”—maybe even accompanied by an eye roll. Kids may respond this way when they’re tired, distracted, or simply not in the mood. Sometimes, they worry a conversation will turn into a lecture, nagging, or that their parents just won’t understand. The key is creating an environment where they feel comfortable sharing.
CLARIFY FACTS AND OPINIONS Keep distinctions between facts and opinions. Say things like: “My opinion is...” or “My opinion is based on these facts and observations.”
ASK THEIR THOUGHTS AND LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGMENT Hold back on criticism to encourage honest dialogue. Use well-timed silence; pausing can prompt your child to share more!
SEEK DISCUSSION, DON’T LECTURE Share your own experiences to create a two-way dialogue.
RESPECT THEIR MOOD Don’t force conversations when they’re not ready. Wait for a better moment and try again.
When may be the best time to talk with your child about alcohol? Kids are often tired after a school day or sporting event, and that may not be the best time to start a conversation. Think about your child’s schedule and how you can create a time where you will have their undivided attention. TIMING IS EVERYTHING
TALK DAILY ABOUT WHAT MATTERS TO THEM Build trust through every day conversations.
KEEP IT BRIEF Avoid long-winded statements. Short comments invite more engagement.
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