Power of Parents ® Middle School Handbook
Chapter 5
Choosing Friends Friendships are especially important to youth, and they typically spend more and more time with friends as they grow up. Parents need to know who their children are spending time with and what they are doing on a daily basis. You can also encourage your child to have healthy relationships by talking with them about the true meaning of friendship.
True friendship is not based on superficial things like money, looks, or popularity. Real friends don’t peer pressure you to do things you don’t want to do.
True friendship is based on mutual respect, caring, understanding, trust, and concern. Real friends want to keep their friends safe and well.
When you discuss the meaning of friendship together, you’ll help your child learn to prioritize making smart decisions about who they allow to influence them.
Do you worry that your child is hanging around with the wrong crowd? Even the smartest kid can choose a friend that leads them down a risky path. It’s your job as the parent to empower your child to choose wisely when making friends. But what do you do when you notice your child hanging out with someone who may not be the best influence? • Don’t ban a friend. Possibly the worst thing to do is forbid your child from seeing that friend. If you criticize a friend, your child will feel compelled to defend them and explain all of the “good” features of the friendship. A better strategy is to include the friend you disapprove of in some family activities. Then you get a chance to get to know them and share your family values. • Encourage more friends. Encourage your child to participate in hobbies or extracurriculars where they can meet other kids with appropriate values. Making more friends helps prevent influences by a single “bad” friend. • Help teens avoid high-risk group situations. The most dangerous situations for kids are unsupervised group activities and parties. It can be hard to stand up against a group. Teach them strategies to avoid peer pressure or unsafe situations. • Monitor social activities and supervise parties. Before your child attends a social event, contact the host child’s parent to make sure that the party will be supervised by an adult and won’t involve alcohol or other drugs.
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