Come over! I
found my brother’s stash.
What should I do?
Going Along with a Group
Middle schoolers often include their peers in their decision-making process. If their friends engage in a behavior, it can seem more acceptable. Your child may justify choices by saying, “but everyone is doing it.” This influence is powerful because middle schoolers see their friends as equals—they navigate social challenges together, rather than deferring to authority figures like parents or teachers. Additionally, youth sometimes believe they should be excused for misbehavior if it was unplanned or if many people were involved. They might say, “We didn’t mean to drink; things just happened.” As a parent, you can help by setting clear expectations about your family’s rules and working with your child to create strategies for handling these situations before they arise.
One hit can’t hurt.
Just try it.
Don’t be lame.
Risky Business Middle schoolers’ developing brains make them more prone to taking risks, including experimenting with alcohol and cannabis. They act impulsively and don’t always recognize the long-term consequences of their choices. Alcohol can seem particularly attractive to young people because it reduces social anxiety more than it does for adults. When they see peers drinking without immediate negative consequences, they may assume it’s no big deal. One way to counteract this is by sharing the facts with your child. For example, many middle schoolers overestimate how many of their peers use alcohol or cannabis. As a parent, you can share that not everyone drinks alcohol or uses cannabis, helping correct misconceptions and reinforcing positive choices.
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