Power of Parents ® High School Handbook
Chapter 4
Consider This Scenario:
A teen comes home from a party and has clearly been drinking alcohol. The parent is angry and says, “You’re grounded indefinitely. When you’re not in school, you will be at home.” This consequence is set in a heated moment and may not even be possible to enforce.
Stay Calm
Another way the parent might respond would be to say, “I’m very disappointed with you. We agreed that there would be no drinking alcohol until you are 21. We will talk about this in the morning.”
Talk Tomorrow
The next day, the parent might say, “As you know, you violated a very important family rule. Drinking is very dangerous for you. Therefore, as we agreed before, there will be serious consequences. For the next month, you will not be allowed to use the family car, and your curfew will be 9:00 instead of 11:00. I hope that after the month has passed, we will both feel more confident in your ability to follow the rules of this family.”
Set Consequences
In this example, the consequences were previously established and are discussed after the parent’s initial disappointment in the teen has subsided. This approach keeps the focus on accountability while reinforcing the trust and structure that help teens make better decisions in the future.
Focus on Accountability
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