BELLY LAUGHS
The Mommy Diaries: Tales of Chaos and Comedy By Madison Voorhies
PHOTO BY LESENFOX ON FREEPIK.COM
ottoman, back to the fireplace, win- dow, wall. This pattern repeated itself a few times, and for some reason, “to the windowww, to the wall, to the wall,” started playing in my head, and I began cracking up while my poor kid was having a meltdown. This was at eight in the morning, and it was all over a piece of sausage.” - Katherine N., Houston, TX We Call This: Mommy Brain “I only got about three hours of sleep last night because I’m struggling with insomnia. This morning, I sat on the floor with my seven-month- old daughter to play with toys. She grabbed this music projector toy –that I didn’t even know she could pick up– and smacked herself in the face. Hard. She instantly started screaming, and I started to comfort the toy instead of her.” - Mallory O., Charleston, SC Most Important Meal of the Day “While holding my 11-week-old and a plate of pancakes, I stood up from the couch. She pushed off my chest, and fearing I’d drop her, I pivoted to the side. Unfortunately, I forgot about the pancakes. As I held onto her legs, she fell backward onto the pancakes and syrup. Despite feeling guilty, her indignant look was memorable. She smelled pretty yummy the rest of the day though.” - Haley N., New Orleans, LA
W elcome to motherhood! In this wild, but wonderful, new chapter of your life, you’ll experience many things, like how to stride through chaos with grace and comedic timing, and will often find yourself knee-deep in sce- narios that could rival any sitcom plotline. You’ll also find yourself failing. A lot. But, it won’t always feel so bad. In fact, sometimes those moments of imperfection may just bring the most joy and laughter. So, grab your coffee (or non-caffeinated beverage for you brave souls living on the edge) and join us as we delve into the hilarity and heartwarming mishaps from our fellow warriors in the trenches of child-rearing. The Great Cupcake Debate “I offered my 12-month-old four different meals, and she refused each one. I got stressed, so I pulled out a chocolate cupcake to eat. Guess who had a chocolate cupcake as their only meal that day? My 12-month-old.” -
my pump, phone, boppy, etc., and got ready to feed my two-month-old. All’s good. I got comfortable on the couch, ready to go: warm blanket on, boppy on top… then I realized I forgot one thing: my son.” - Morgan M., Baton Rouge, LA Tales from the Diaper Pails “With my baby just a week old, I was sleep-deprived and dealing with his extremely watery poops. One mo- ment, I picked him up when he was hungry and set him on the bed while I grabbed something. Later, as I tried to feed him, I couldn’t get comfortable, so we moved to the nursery. While feeding him in the rocking chair, I suddenly felt something wet on my butt. Confused, I finished feeding him, only to discover a poop trail from the bassinet to my bed, where I had un- knowingly sat on it. His watery poop had spilled down his back, leading to the unexpected mess.” - Heather W., New Orleans, LA Get Low… I Guess..? “My 14-month-old was throwing a hissy fit and kept throwing himself around the living room: first to the ottoman, then to the fireplace, then to the wall, the windowsill, back to the
Olivia N., Baton Rouge, LA Forgetting Something?
“I went through my usual morning routine today: grabbed some water,
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PINK&BLUE | SPRING 2024
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