WHEN YOUR CHILD WALKS AWAY
CHAPTER SIX
Three Ongoing Ministries Your parental role has shifted into three ongoing ministries. These are not techniques. They are postures you return to over months and years. Hold all three together. Any one of them without the other two does damage. Ministry One — Stay present without compromising truth Stay involved. I tell parents all the time: don’t let your end of the bridge burn. Your child may be setting fire to their end. Do not set fire to yours. As we just saw, the two temptations are withdrawal and watering down. Resist both. God does not affirm what God calls sin, and neither do you. But you also do not disappear from their life. Once your child knows where you stand — and I assume they do — you do not have to turn every visit into a verbal reminder. Being in their presence and simply enjoying your son or daughter is not approval of everything they are doing. It is just being present.
“Presence does not mean approval. You can be present — and when the moment comes, you can still speak the truth in love.”
When the opportunity comes to speak truth, speak it. That is not rejection. Just make sure it is spoken in love. Chapter five said this. It bears repeating here, because every parent I know of a wandering child forgets it at some point. Ministry Two — Ask better questions than you give speeches At this stage of their life, lectures harden the heart. Questions invite reflection. Instead of “How can you believe that?” try, “Help me understand what led you there.” Instead of, “Don’t you see where this is going?” try, “What do you feel like you lost — or didn’t find — in your faith?” Instead of, “I don’t know why you do that,” try, “What do you think will actually satisfy what you’re looking for?”
Word of Life Fellowship • 15
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