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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 JULY | 2025
LISTEN UP!
STAYING QUIET MIGHT BE YOUR BIGGEST STRENGTH
LISTENING TO RESPOND VS. LISTENING TO UNDERSTAND There’s a big difference between waiting for your turn to talk and actually hearing what someone’s saying. Most people listen with a mental script running, rehearsing their response, picking apart what was said, or planning their next witty comeback. That’s listening to respond. But listening to understand means fully tuning in, being present, asking thoughtful questions, and staying curious. When you do that, the other person feels respected, and you’re more likely to walk away with valuable insight. WHEN YOU LISTEN WELL You build better relationships. People trust you more when they feel heard. You avoid misunderstandings. Fewer assumptions yield more clarity. You improve your emotional intelligence. Active listening deepens empathy. You make smarter decisions. You’ll be able to catch important details others may miss. You become a better leader. Great communicators are great listeners first.
Did you hear that? Probably not all of it — and that’s not just a guess. Research shows that within just a few hours of hearing someone speak, most of us will only remember about 20% of what we hear. So, it’s no wonder miscommunication is such a
common problem in our personal lives and work.
That’s why World Listening Day on July 18 is a great reminder. While the day was originally created to raise awareness about the sounds of our environment, it also highlights the importance of a skill we often take for granted: the ability to really listen.
WHY LISTENING MATTERS MORE THAN YOU THINK Sure, we all hear things — traffic, coworkers talking, the microwave beeping — but listening is something completely different. It requires focus, empathy, and presence, and when we do it well, it changes everything. In your career, listening helps you understand what your clients or colleagues truly need. In relationships, it helps your partner feel seen and heard. In friendships, it creates a connection and trust. As English-American author Simon Sinek once said, “Listening is not understanding the words of the question asked, listening is understanding why the question was asked in the first place.”
TIPS TO IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING Silence distractions. Put away the phone, turn off notifications. Be curious, not corrective. Don’t jump in with advice unless asked.
Be reflective. Try saying, “What I’m hearing is …” to confirm understanding. Watch your body language. Make eye contact, nod, and use open posture. Take a beat before you speak. That moment of pause before you speak shows you’re thinking about what was said. When we listen better, we live better. Whether tuning into the sounds of nature or truly hearing the people around us, listening deepens connection, builds trust, and makes life a whole lot clearer. So, this month, and each month after, take a pause, open your ears, and give someone your full attention. It might be the most impactful thing you don’t say all day. —John Bledsoe
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THE DIVORCE BOUNCEBACK Let’s be honest: Divorce can knock the wind out of you. But here’s the good news: You don’t have to stay stuck at the bottom. The divorce bounceback is real — and it’s not just about surviving. It’s about thriving in the next chapter of your life. RECLAIMING YOUR LIFE ONE STEP AT A TIME
STEP 1: FEEL IT TO HEAL IT First, allow yourself time to grieve. Whether the split was mutual or messy, you’ve experienced a loss. Your future didn’t unfold the way you thought it would, and that’s hard. Give yourself the space to process it through therapy, journaling, talking to a friend, whatever helps you let those emotions out. STEP 2: REBUILD, DON’T REBOUND A bounceback doesn’t mean launching straight into a new relationship or reinventing yourself overnight. It means slowly, intentionally rebuilding a life that feels authentic to you. Reclaim your space, interests, and voice. Maybe you always wanted to travel, start a business, or take a class — now’s the time. STEP 3: GET YOUR FINANCES IN ORDER Money often gets messy during divorce. Take a breath, gather the documents, and create a clear picture of your new financial reality. Meeting with a financial advisor can help you create a smart, sustainable plan moving forward. STEP 4: KNOW YOUR WORTH Your relationship status doesn’t define you. You’re more than a title, ring, or role you used to play. This chapter is yours to write, and the bounceback can be beautiful.
Things may feel upside down right now — your routines, finances, and identity. But it’s also an opportunity. Divorce, as hard as it is, can be the beginning of a more grounded, empowered version of you.
Remember, the end of a marriage isn’t the end of your story. It’s the start of a bold new chapter, one where you’re in charge of the plot. You’ve got this.
The Tea on the Benefits of Tea Why Your Mug Might Be the Key to Feeling Great
CHAMOMILE TEA Sleep is crucial for your health, and you can sip your way to better z’s with a cup of chamomile tea. This popular drink’s calming effects are thanks to its antioxidant properties — natural stress and inflammation reducers. Along with its well-known calming benefits, chamomile can soothe upset stomachs, protect against certain cancers, strengthen your immune system, and even improve your skin. (That’s what we call beauty sleep in a cup!) So, whether you’re brewing up energy, relaxation, or a health boost, tea has you covered, one sip at a time. Go ahead and grab your favorite mug, steep your favorite brew, and let the stress melt away!
Ready to steep yourself in the healing power of herbal drinks? We’re reading all the tea leaves on, well, tea! Whether you need a morning boost from a bold black tea, a stress-melting sip of chamomile, or a green tea glow-up for your immune system, there’s a brew for every mood. Let’s sip through the world of teas and explore the different varieties, their benefits, and why your kettle might be your new best friend on your health and wellness journey. GREEN TEA People have turned to green tea for centuries for its health benefits, hosting powerful antioxidants to support your immune system. The natural catechins in these leaves protect cells in the body from damage and can even
reduce inflammation. Green tea can also aid in weight loss, support healthy brain function, and reduce the risk of severe conditions like heart disease. Studies have found that this brew can also improve your oral health, manage blood sugar, and could add years to your life! BLACK TEA If you want an energy boost, black tea might replace your morning cup of coffee. Robust and flavorful, this variety has high amounts of antioxidants called theaflavins and thearubigins, which support healthy cholesterol levels and the heart. Black tea can also reduce the risk of strokes, lower blood sugar levels, and provide focus without all the jitters.
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W ord S earch
Marriage or Manipulation?
American
Bicycle
Cherry
Fireworks
Flag
Independence
HOW TO IDENTIFY NARCISSISTIC ABUSE AT HOME
Paddleboard
Picnic
Ruby
Stars
Every marriage has its ups and downs. But if you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells, second-guessing yourself, or giving way more than you’re getting, it may be time to ask a harder question: Am I married to a narcissist? We’re not talking about someone who simply takes a few too many selfies. Narcissism, especially in the context of a relationship, goes much deeper. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a clinical diagnosis, but many people can have narcissistic traits without a true diagnosis, and those traits can be emotionally draining and damaging in a marriage. YOU MAY BE MARRIED TO A NARCISSIST — HERE ARE THE SIGNS. • Everything revolves around them. They dominate conversations, dismiss your opinions, and show little genuine interest in your needs or feelings. • They lack empathy. Your emotions are minimized, ignored, or even used against you. • They manipulate and gaslight. You’re made to feel like you’re the problem, even when they’re clearly in the wrong. • They need constant admiration. If you’re not praising them, they feel slighted. • They blame others for their mistakes. They rarely apologize and often twist the truth to avoid accountability. WHAT CAN YOU DO? • Educate yourself. Understanding narcissistic behavior helps you recognize patterns and protect your emotional health. Once you see it clearly, you can stop blaming yourself for their behavior. • Set boundaries. Start small but be firm. Say no when you mean no, and don’t let guilt override your gut instincts. Narcissists often push limits, so boundaries are essential. • Don’t try to ‘fix’ them. Meaningful change typically requires professional therapy — and they have to want to change. But many won’t. • Seek support. See a therapist, find a support group, or confide in a friend. You need a safe space to process your experience and make a plan for your future. • Consider your long-term well-being. If the relationship is toxic and does not change, it’s okay to prioritize your mental health. Whether that means staying with firm boundaries or preparing to leave, know that you deserve respect, love, and emotional safety.
Sherbet
Trampoline
Inspired by OMGChocolateDesserts.com
Chocolate-Covered Banana Brownies
INGREDIENTS Banana Brownies •
Chocolate Topping •
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted 1/3 cup light brown sugar
12 oz semi-sweet baking chocolate, chopped
• • • • • • •
• •
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
1/4 tsp salt 1 large egg
•
3–4 large bananas
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup mashed banana
1 cup flour
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease an 8x8-inch pan with cooking spray. 2. In a bowl, whisk together melted butter, brown sugar, sugar, and salt. Add egg and vanilla and whisk. Add mashed banana and whisk, then whisk in flour. 3. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 25 minutes, or until the center has set. 4. Place chopped chocolate in a heatproof bowl. 5. Bring heavy cream to a boil, pour over chocolate, let it sit for 1–2 minutes, then stir until chocolate is completely melted. Stir in peanut butter until smooth. 6. Slice bananas and arrange over cooled brownies. 7. Pour chocolate mixture over bananas and place in the fridge for 15 minutes before serving.
Remember, you’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. Trust your instincts — they’re trying to protect you.
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Inside
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Did You Hear That? Most of Us Only Remember 20%
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Divorce Isn’t the End — It’s Your Comeback Story in the Making Sip Your Way to Better Health
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Are You Married to a Narcissist?
Chocolate-Covered Banana Brownies
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Essential Tips for Safe Summer Biking
Savoring Nature Safely on a Biking Adventure TRAIL-READY
Mountain biking is one of the nation’s fastest-growing sports. Drawn by its physical and mental challenges and access to nature, more than 9.2 million people participated in the sport in 2023, up 4% from 2022. Before setting out, it’s essential to realize that off-road biking can take you far from your comfort zone. Riding on rugged terrain is considered an extreme sport with a high rate of injuries,
include Ride with GPS for route-finding and navigation and Strava for performance-tracking and networking. As you plan, note the trail surface. Riding on gravel or dirt takes far more energy than paved trails. If you want to test your limits, do it on terrain you have traveled before. GEAR UP Carry more water than you expect to need, and bring a portable water filter. Poor hydration is one of the main reasons cyclists get in trouble. Also, bring ample high-protein food, a tire patch kit, and first- aid supplies. And don’t neglect the basics: Be sure to wear a properly fitted, sturdy helmet. DON’T GO ALONE Let someone know your planned route. Leave a detailed itinerary and planned check-in times with a person you trust. Carry a fully charged phone and charging device, and bring maps as digital downloads or on paper. Also, practice basic navigation skills, such as tracking the sun’s position in the sky and noting landmarks.
and participants tend to overestimate their skill level. Keep these tips in mind to ensure your enjoyment as a novice in this exciting sport.
BE WEATHER-WARY Familiarize yourself with seasonal weather
patterns in your area. Prepare for the possibility of extreme heat and sudden midsummer storms. Check the forecast before each outing. Heat sickness can catch you off guard, causing nausea, dizziness, confusion, and clammy skin. If these symptoms set in, find shade, drink water, and try to cool down. KNOW YOUR LEVEL Be realistic when choosing routes, and check out the mileage, trail conditions, and elevation of any path you choose. Helpful apps
By cycling smart, you can reap the maximum benefits of one of the nation’s most exciting sports!
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