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FROM STAGE FRIGHT TO SPOTLIGHT CONQUERING THE FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING
Deep down, every one of us has been afraid of public speaking at some point in our lives. Whether it’s the fear of forgetting what to say, being judged, stumbling over our words, or simply being nervous about having all eyes on us, it can be overwhelming to put yourself out there. Communication is one of the most essential elements of relationships and business, but glossophobia, a fear of public speaking, is incredibly common, with the National Institute of Mental Health reporting it affects at least 40% of the population. There are even clubs nationwide devoted to helping people become more confident in the art of speaking, such as Toastmasters. In the end, public speaking is all about mindset and practice. Our son, Russell, recently proved how true that is. He was one of a few third-graders cast in his school play, earning the role of Smee, the loyal boatswain to Captain Hook in “Peter Pan.”
Having never been in a play before or doing any public speaking other than in front of his class, he gave it a shot. He practiced for months with the cast, learning his lines, the choreography, and even how to skip. It all came to a head in April during his school play, and boy, did he shine. Sure, he could have been scared because “everyone is watching me,” but he was not. Instead, he got on stage, fully projected his voice, overemphasized his moves, and was a big hit! All that hard work preparing for his exciting speaking role and having the right mindset paid off! We don’t expect Russell to be the next Leonardo DiCaprio (although he does look like him, don’t you think?), but he could be a lawyer, politician, CEO, or someone who must use their public speaking skills to sway the crowd. This experience has taught him there is nothing to fear when you’re in the hot seat, especially if you have prepared beforehand. He immediately felt a true sense of pride in his performance and is already looking for his next speaking role! Like Russell in front of an audience, lawyers also perform all the time. We must present information for a jury or the judge, and sometimes for the lawyer on the other side. We are always trying to sway our audience. The truth is that we don’t start with a perfect performance. It takes a lot of practice and many rehearsals and, in the case of a jury trial or bench trial, hours upon hours of preparation. Good performances do not just happen; speakers create, develop, and rehearse them. Good lawyers prepare and act out their “performance” over and over to get it right.
skills are something you can develop and learn with practice. Whether you’re preparing for your big stage debut or have a presentation at work coming up, here are some easy tips to quell your nerve: Research your topic thoroughly and make organized notes so you have confidence in the subject matter and have tools to help you stay on track. Practice in front of a mirror or a friend. When you’re in front of an audience, focus on the material you’re speaking about rather than the crowd. Take deep breaths and remember that most people in the room want you to succeed and are rooting for you. Public speaking is a crucial skill in your professional and personal life. With extra practice, preparation, and maybe even the help of a club like Toastmasters, you can turn nervous energy into confident communication.
We wish you many A+ public performances.
–Ashley and Christopher Bruce
July is Freedom From Fear of Speaking Month, and it’s a good reminder that public speaking
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You know Monopoly as the game that ruins friendships and sparks hourlong battles over Park Place. But during World War II, it played a much more significant and far braver role: helping Allied soldiers escape from German POW camps. Yes, really . In one of the most brilliant covert ops of the war, the British Secret Service turned Monopoly into a top-secret escape kit. Before this tactic, smuggling noisy paper maps without tipping off the guards was too risky, and getting caught could be fatal for prisoners. Enter silk — strong, weather-resistant, and, most importantly, silent. The British turned to John Waddington Ltd., the licensed Monopoly manufacturer in the UK, who also happened to be an expert in printing on silk. It was a match made in espionage heaven. Waddington didn’t just tuck maps into game boxes, though. In a locked room most employees didn’t know existed, craftsmen rigged Monopoly sets with tiny metal files, magnetic compasses, and even real currency hidden beneath the play money. Each game was marked with a secret red dot on the Free Parking space — an insider’s clue for captured soldiers to look out for. Thanks to a clever partnership with the Red Cross, these “games” were slipped into POW camps as humanitarian aid packages. The guards thought they were passing along innocent entertainment. Meanwhile, inside the box were the tools to freedom. By the end of the war, over 35,000 POWs had escaped German camps — many with the help of these customized Monopoly sets. Though exact numbers are lost to history, Monopoly’s role in those escapes is one of the war’s clever secrets. ALLIED POWERS OUTWITTED THE ENEMY, ONE GAME AT A TIME WHEN MONOPOLY HELPED WIN A WAR
SHUT DOWN SNOOPING
If you are a woman preparing for a divorce, protecting your peace starts with protecting your privacy, especially if you are leaving a narcissist or abusive spouse. As you gather the necessary information, make arrangements, and get organized for a separation, you must ensure your partner doesn’t learn your plans before you’re ready. From changing your passwords to securing your smart devices, you can safeguard your privacy to get the best possible outcome for a divorce. START WITH A SAFE EMAIL If you don’t secure your inbox, your email will contain a paper trail of evidence that you are preparing for a divorce. Start by creating a private account that only you have access to. You should use this account for any correspondence related to your plans, like contacting a lawyer. You can add a two-step verification that requires you or anyone trying to open your email to enter a code, usually texted to your phone. LOCK DOWN YOUR LOGINS Change the passwords on your digital accounts, banking information, devices, and social media pages. Though this may seem like an obvious security step, many people fail to do it. Link any of the accounts you want to stay private to your new, secure email address. Keep in mind that some banks will send a letter or notify the household if there is an email update or change, so double-check and plan to catch that notification before your partner does. Ensure your phone or tablet has a lock screen and password. SILENCE THE SIGNAL Many of the apps on your phone allow other users to view your location, which could be an issue if you are seeing your lawyer or touring apartments. In your settings, you can view which programs have that feature turned on and who can see where you are. This is a relatively simple feature to turn off in settings, but if you are having trouble, visit your local Best Buy to ask a member of the Geek Squad to help you turn off location sharing. Digital Safety Tips for Women Preparing to Divorce
The mission was kept quiet for decades to preserve the strategy for future use. Today, the story reminds us that the simplest tools can sometimes carry out extraordinary missions. Next time you pass “Go,” just remember Monopoly once helped people pass barbed wire.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!
The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com
For more tips to protect your privacy and plan for a divorce, download our book “The Women’s Guide for Getting Organized for Divorce” at BrucePA.com/books .
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The end of a relationship is never easy. Before you serve divorce papers, there’s one big question you need to answer: Can your spouse actually change, or is it time to change your life? As you think about your marriage, it’s essential to focus on the willingness of your partner to put in real effort and communicate before you make your decision. From their openness to counseling to their desire to solve the problems in the relationship, we’re sharing some of the key considerations to remember as you decide whether to save the marriage or get divorced. MARRIAGE COUNSELING Counseling can help save a marriage by fostering improved communication and identifying areas where issues arise, but it requires focus and effort from both partners. If your spouse refuses to go, it’s a sign they are not committed to change, and it’s time to move on. However, if they say yes, pay attention to how actively they participate, whether they continue with sessions, and whether they implement the advice from your therapist to improve the relationship. You want to look for care and commitment to becoming a better spouse daily. Your partner doesn’t have to be perfect or immediately change, but they need to improve and show they are in it for the long haul. THE REAL TEST BEFORE DIVORCE ONE LAST CHANCE OR FINAL STRAW?
COMMUNICATION Communication is the foundation of a relationship and is the first step in evaluating whether a divorce is the right option. Talk to your partner about the issues you want to change and how you feel. Give them time to see if they heard you and take steps to improve. If the conversation results in their making meaningful adjustments, it means they are committed to making it work. If nothing changes, you must decide if you are willing to put up with the problems continuing in your life. Divorce is a life-changing decision you do not need to rush. Take the time to communicate and work with a professional therapist before you decide to stay or step away. Contact Bruce Law Firm if you are ready to make a change. We provide resources to help you as you make this choice at BrucePA.com .
Inspired by CookieAndKate.com
SWEET POTATO BLACK BEAN TACOS
Ingredients •
2 lbs sweet potatoes, peeled, cut into 1-inch chunks
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1/4 tsp chili powder
2 cans black beans, rinsed and drained
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3 tbsp olive oil, divided 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/3 cup water 1 tsp lime juice
1/4 tsp fine salt
Salt and pepper, to taste 8–10 small corn tortillas
1 small white onion, finely chopped
2 tsp ground cumin
Directions 1. Preheat oven to 425 F. Toss sweet potatoes in 2 tbsp olive oil, cayenne pepper, and salt. 2. Bake for 30–40 minutes, then set aside. 3. In a large saucepan over medium heat, add remaining olive oil. Add onions and cook until softened. 4. Add in cumin and chili powder, stir for 30 seconds, then add black beans and water. 5. Stir, cover, and reduce heat to maintain a simmer. Cook for 5 minutes before mashing about half the beans. 6. Remove from heat, stir in lime juice, and season with salt and pepper. 7. Warm tortillas in a large skillet over medium heat, then assemble tacos and enjoy!
Christopher recently presented on “Narcissism in Men and Divorce” to the mental PBC Mental Health Counselors Assoc.
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PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411
1601 Forum Pl. Ste. 1101 West Palm Beach, FL 33401
Behind Every Great Speech Is a Great Rehearsal page 1
The Most Dangerous Game of Monopoly Ever Played
Break Free Safely page 2
Is Your Spouse Willing to Change?
Sweet Potato Black Bean Tacos page 3
Secrets to Spousal Stability page 4
MAXIMIZED MARITAL MAGIC THE ART OF UNLIMITED DEDUCTIONS
Devising the best estate plan to provide for those dearest to you can be emotionally and logistically challenging, even under the clearest circumstances. However, this process can be even more difficult due to the critical terms, conditions, and laws that could determine the strength or weakness of how your wishes are carried out upon your passing. To make things a little easier, here are the basics about the “unlimited marital deduction” and how it influences what one spouse receives from another. TAX-FREE TRANSFERS The unlimited marital deduction enables a spouse to transfer unlimited assets to another tax-free. You derive this deduction by subtracting the total amount of assets from the gross estate, which must be distributed according to a will. Estate taxes on transferred assets are delayed until the recipient spouse’s death. The spouses must be legally married U.S. citizens to qualify for this deduction. SAFEGUARDING A SUSTAINED LEGACY If an individual wishes to have a say in what happens to their assets after their surviving spouse passes, they can set up an irrevocable Qualified Terminable Interest
Property (QTIP) Trust that will still provide for the surviving spouse but outline beneficiaries upon their death. Because this trust is irrevocable, it can’t be altered by anyone, including the surviving spouse. CITIZENSHIP EXCEPTIONS Although establishing the unlimited marital deduction is straightforward for American citizens, pursuing similar options for non-citizen spouses is more complex but not impossible. First, a U.S. citizen can gift money to their non-U.S. citizen spouse. In 2024, the maximum amount not subject to gift taxes was $185,000. Another option would be to establish a Qualified Domestic Trust (QDOT), which allows the non-citizen spouse to take advantage of the unlimited marital deduction so long as they are the sole beneficiary and at least one trustee is a U.S. citizen or an American corporation. Naturally, the conditions outlined in this brief overview are subject to a host of what- ifs that may affect the specific outcome of your situation. Working with skilled financial planners familiar with these nuances is essential to secure your spouse’s well-being and satisfy tax obligations when the time comes to implement your estate plan.
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