At East Devon Crematorium, we understand that saying goodbye to a loved one can be overwhelming, especially for children and young people. That’s why we’ve partnered with Balloons, a local bereavement charity, to create a simple and supportive guide explaining what to expect at a cremation.
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CREMATION A helpful guide for children and young people
When someone in your family or a close friend sadly dies, a funeral may be held. It may be that your family have help from a Funeral Director who will make all the arrangements, help prepare the day and even provide cars to get to the service. At a funeral, family and friends come together to say goodbye to the person they loved who has died and remember special things about them.
The funeral ceremony may be held at a local church or in a special place called a Crematorium.
In Devon, many funerals are held at the Service Hall at the East Devon Crematorium.
East Devon Crematorium is situated near Whimple and it is possible to visit beforehand to meet the staff, look around and know what to expect on the day. If you decide to go to the service at the Crematorium, this is the entrance from the road.
There is a long driveway to the car park and the Crematorium buildings.
Before the funeral you may have to wait outside the Service Hall (pictured here). When the doors are opened, everyone will walk through the middle of the Service Hall - this is called the aisle. You will find a chair and sit there with your family.
There is a small studio at the back of the chapel, where a technician will play the music for the ceremony and organise the photographs if they are to be shown on the two big screens at the front of the Hall.
There will be a Priest or a Celebrant taking the ceremony. They work closely with the Funeral Director to make sure the ceremony goes smoothly. They will often stand at the front and deliver a tribute/eulogy about the person who has died and support any family or friends who may wish to speak as part of the ceremony.
The body of the person who has died will be inside a coffin. Your family can decide what sort of coffin to have and also if there are flowers or special items placed on top. The coffin will be carried into the Service Hall and placed on a long table called a catafalque at the front.
At the end of the ceremony, everyone leaves the service hall through a side door and meets outside in the flower courtyard where any flowers that have been sent by friends and family will be laid out for you to look at and read the labels to find out who has sent them. After everyone has said their final goodbye to the person who has died, which is called the committal, your family may choose to have a curtain drawn around the coffin. Some families decide to approach the coffin and even place their hand on it as an act of saying goodbye. There may be some favourite songs or hymns and members of your family may say a few words or read a poem or prayer in tribute. It is for your family to decide what is said and listened to as this will be an important part of reflecting on the person who has died, celebrating their life and building memories. After the family has left, the coffin is then carried to the crematory, where it is turned into ashes. After the service you may want to walk around the beautiful gardens to have some quiet time. This is a place you can come back to as the gardens are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Sometimes, a family may choose not to have a service at a church or the Crematorium. If this happens, the body of your loved one will be brought to the Crematorium in a coffin and will be looked after with care by the staff who work there.
After a death, your family may decide to have time together with friends to tell stories and share memories to celebrate the life of your loved one, this is called a wake.
After 2 days, your family can collect the ashes of your loved one. They will then decide where to put the ashes, whether that is in the memorial garden at the Crematorium, keep them at home in an urn or scatter them at a place special to your family.
We hope you have found this short guide helpful. If you need to speak to someone for any more guidance please get in touch with:
East Devon Crematorium: 01404 823017 / office@eastdevoncrematorium.co.uk Balloons Charity: 01392 982570 / support@balloonscharity.co.uk
Further information: For more information about what happens at funerals and cremations, please visit the following link: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/what-happens- at-a-cremation-animation Cremation - the act of burning the body and the coffin. Crematorium - a place where funeral services are held. Crematory - an enclosed chamber where bodies are reduced to ashes, using extreme heat. Funeral - a ceremony to remember the person who has died. Funeral Director - a person who arranges funerals and supports families with the arrangements. Service Hall or chapel - a venue for funerals at a crematorium. Tribute/eulogy - a speech or poem about the person who has died. Urn - a lidded container used for holding a person's ashes. Wake - a gathering of family and friends of the person who has died after their funeral. Glossary of terms: Catafalque - a raised stand, box, or platform, that is used to support the coffin during a funeral or memorial service. Celebrant or Priest - someone who officiates (i.e. leads) at a religious or secular service. Coffin - a box used to contain the body. Sometimes this is called a casket. Committal - the final goodbye before the coffin is removed from view.
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