WHAT HAS HELPED YOU FIND STRENGTH DURING DIFFICULT TIMES? ROSALYNN: Strength is a hard one. Whenev- er somebody tells me, “You’re so strong,” I tell them, “I promise you, I’m not as strong as you think.”There are days that it’s still really hard for me to get up every morning, because I get up and I realize that Traeh’s gone, so that’s where giving myself grace comes in. Strength is something I don’t always have, but I do know that I have community. I know that God strategically places people in your life to help you. We weren’t meant to do this life by ourselves. I also had to reshape what hope meant. As little kids, we believe in wishes, right? You wish upon a star and your dreams will come true. What I learned after Traeh died was sometimes wishes don’t come true. I wish things didn’t go the way they did. Wishes may fail you, but hope is everlasting. Hope for me now means that by me shar- ing my family story, somebody will take that and change maybe one thing that they do with their kids. Maybe be a little more open or maybe set up a little more time to spend with them. It’s my hope that by me talking to youth about mental health and suicide and letting them know that sometimes parents don’t have the answers, but we’re still here. It’s my hope that kids leave the door open and let us in.
WHAT’S ONE MESSAGE YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH ANOTHER MOM WHO MAY BE STRUGGLING, FEELING OVERWHELMED, OR WORRIED ABOUT THEIR CHILD? ROSALYNN: The biggest thing is give yourself some grace. If you don’t know what to say, there are so many different resources out there to help you get the words that you need. 988 is great. Sometimes I text 988 and say, “Hey, I don’t know what to say to this student or this child that just came in, what are some ways that I can show up?” And again, if you’re worried, create that space and just ask. Sometimes as parents, we don’t ask those hard questions because we’re afraid of the answer. But asking those hard questions will let us know just how much that child is hurting or not hurting. We’re never putting any idea into a child’s mind by asking any type of question. What we’re doing is giving them the opportunity to express how they’re feeling so we can stand in the gap for them. RAPID-FIRE QUESTIONS One word that best describes your family… active. Favorite food… lasagna. Hidden talent… ballet. Favorite movie… The Fault in Our Stars .
that time to understand that what they’re looking for is a safe space, and that first safe space should be at home. AS A MOM, WHAT ARE SOME WAYS YOU ENCOURAGE CONNECTION AND OPEN CONVERSA- TIONS WITH YOUR CHILDREN? ROSALYNN: It’s doing the 13-minute chal- lenge. It’s during the car rides to and from school, asking, “How was your day? What were you doing today?” My oldest daugh- ter has these two o’clock in the morning moments when she’s like “Hey mom, wake up, I got to talk.” Don’t ever miss an opportu- nity because things happen so fast. I let my kids know that there is nothing that they can tell me that will make me feel like they’re a burden. Although some of the conversations may make me uncomfortable, it's okay for me to say, “All right, this is a lot for me, but I’m going to try to get through it.” When Tiva was seven, right after Traeh died, we were talking and she said, “Well, mom, I just want you to know that I would be more comfortable talking about my feelings if you were comfortable talking about yours.”That was a gut punch. They let me know that we have to be open and transparent with our kids and that will make them feel comfortable with being open and transparent with us.
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