TAKE A BREAK
Why One Man Sued Michael Jordan for $832 Million I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE MIKE
Many people have been told they
have a passing resemblance to a celebrity, and they usually have a funny story or two. To Allen Ray Heckard, his celebrity look- alike was no laughing matter. In 2006, he sued Michael
Jordan for looking too much like him and ruining his life.
The amount of the lawsuit was $832 million, and Heckard not only sued Jordan but also Nike, reasoning that the company helped Jordan achieve his incredible fame. The complaint argued that the resemblance to Jordan “has troubled
Heckard’s nerves” and being stopped by fans caused him emotional distress for over 15 years. He requested damages for defamation, permanent injury, and pain and suffering. For someone tired of being “recognized,” Heckard didn’t shy away from media coverage. When asked how he arrived at the astronomical $832 million lawsuit figure, he gave this much- shared (yet difficult to parse) answer: “Well, you figure with my age, and you multiply that by seven and, ah, then I turn around and, ah, I figure that’s what it all boils down to.” When asked why he felt the resemblance to Jordan had affected his life so negatively, he could only answer, “I want to be recognized as me, just like Michael’s recognized as Michael.” Funnily enough, most people didn’t think Heckard and Jordan looked alike at all. While each had a bald head, mustache, and a gold earring, the similarities seemed to end there. Many news stories noted that, compared to Jordan, Heckard is 8 years older and 6 inches shorter. One question reporters did not appear to ask was why Heckard felt that Jordan should be held personally liable for hundreds of millions of dollars simply for his natural appearance. Sadly, we will probably never know the answer because the case ended rather unceremoniously. After a few weeks, Heckard dropped the lawsuit. He never publicly shared why, but a Nike spokesperson was glad to speculate that Heckard “finally realized he would end up paying our court costs if the lawsuit went to trial.” In the end, many ‘90s kids would argue that Heckard was most guilty of looking a gift horse in the mouth. After all, there is no higher achievement than to “be like Mike.”
EASY MARCH MADNESS CHILI
Cheer on your favorite team and chow down in minutes with this easy chili recipe!
• 2 16-oz cans diced tomatoes • 2 16-oz cans small red beans • 2 8-oz cans tomato sauce
• 2 lbs ground beef • 2 tbsp chili powder • 1 tbsp Creole seasoning • 1 tsp ground cumin
1. In a deep pot, brown the beef, stirring often. 2. Once beef is cooked, add chili powder, Creole seasoning, and cumin, cooking for 1 minute. 3. Stir in diced tomatoes, beans, and tomato sauce and bring the mixture to a boil. 4. After the mixture boils, reduce the heat to low and let chili simmer for 15 minutes. 5. Serve with toppings of choice, like cheese, sour cream, or chives.
Inspired by MyRecipes.com
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