I Miss YOU Already by Barbara Gillett Saunders, Grief Counsellor Thanatologist I know some of you will read this and know exactly what I am talking about because you have been through it already. I know some of you are in the midst of this reality right now. You might be in denial, or you might be the person who is facing the truth and magnitude of this situation.
of losing a loved one, not living your own life or seeking moments of joy can be draining and lead to depression and anticipatory grief. Saying softly in your mind, ‘I miss you already’ is perhaps a way to buffer the jolt that will come when they actually die… Ya RIGHT!! Who are you trying to fool? Yourself? ‘I miss you already’ may bring tears and sadness to your heart, but wait; remember the life lessons that potentially could be in this journey for you; • Savouring every moment together, • Honouring the process for them and yourself, • Being gentle with each other, no blame or judgment, • Being in the moment and not worrying about when the last day will come, who knows, maybe you die first, • Slowing down to smell the roses as they say because sometimes we race through life in hopes of avoiding the inevitable. Take care of you, too. Seek supports, or chat with someone about how you feel; maybe they can relate to your story. Journaling by writing your thoughts down is another way of releasing the heaviness of the ‘I miss you already’ tape that plays over in your mind. Remember, you are never as alone as you may think (((HUGS))).
I am talking about living and closely knowing someone with an illness and/or, in case something happens to them, having a ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ (DNR) order in place. Age of the individual may not be a factor. This DNR or illness is a reminder to you that at any time your person could die. Yes, we are all dying and can die at any time. When you know there is a pending death scenario, but not knowing when, it can weigh heavy on everyone concerned. How often is this spoken of? Hmmm -- most likely, not much. Are you the person who is wondering when your special someone will take their last breath? Do you walk into their house or room and double-check from a distance to make sure they are still breathing? Do you worry that if you are away from them for too long, they will die while you are gone? This just sucks --- what are you doing to yourself? How long has this been going on for you? Take a deep breath now, maybe do three. I often wonder what life lessons are here in this scenario for the person who worries about someone else dying. So much time may be wasted living in fear -- in some cases, for several years. This fear
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Hometown St. Thomas Geoffrey Rae Managing Editor / Sales Geoff@villagerpublications.com • 519-495-7177 All articles written by Geoff Rae unless otherwise noted. Copy Editor – Peter Bloch-Hansen Publisher – Barb Botten barb@villagerpublications.com Graphic Artist – Cathy Wood Copyright @ 2015 Villager Publications. All rights reserved. This magazine or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the Publisher. Information presented has been compiled from sources believed to be accurate at the time of printing however the Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions.
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