LAST YEAR , I graduated with a master’s in fine arts (MFA) in dance. This was my third ter- minal degree, and extra special to me because it fulfilled a life- long goal and was totally differ- ent from anything I’d ever done before. But upon writing and cre- ating my thesis paper and perfor- mance, I began feeling the anxi- ety of separation from my story, what I was sharing through my artistry, and what I was releasing into the world. It was a strange feeling but I can only compare
even if the end result is crap. I rent studio space, force myself to choreograph, take dance classes, and go to lots of performances. In many ways, I am trying to fill back my proverbial cup and keep my connection to dance any way possible. Third, and most importantly, I try to show myself compassion. I give myself space and grace. We are living in an arduous and crumbling world where progress is a mirage, art is devalued, democracy is a sham, and the patriarchy still has a stronghold over every part of our lives. In this environment kindness to oneself is key to relative sanity. For those of you who have experienced what I have described, please know that you are not alone. The road ahead is difficult, but you and your art are precious and needed in the world. Art keeps us sane and balanced. Art keeps humanity human and it is art that will save us. PARYA SABERI is an Iranian immigrant, dancer, choreographer, re- searcher, educator, and healthcare professional. She is an Associate Professor at a top-ranking Bay Area university. At the age of 6, Par- ya began studying Iranian classical and folk dances in Iran and later trained in New York Style Salsa and belly dancing. She received an MFA in Dance from Saint Mary’s College of California in 2021 and has been a member of the Salimpour School of Dance since 2012. Her dance research and interests include the restriction of movement for women dancers in Iran and cultural appropriation in dance.
it to a profound sadness of separation. Truthfully, I have never given birth to a human baby but I have talked to many friends and women who have told me about their intense depression after giving birth. This is how I felt in my own way. The intensity of the depression grew after graduating and the sadness remains with me to this day. It is often dif- ficult to even talk about it because it seems silly to feel sad about being parted from one’s trauma. To someone who’s never experienced it, it may seem indulgent or frivolous to wallow in sadness after “birthing” art. In talking to other artists, I have come to realize that birthing one’s long-held emotions through art is traumatic. Post-artum depression is real. It can be paralyzing once a project is complete and can prevent future desires to create from the heart. Unfortunately, I don’t have great solutions for dealing with this post-artum depression. But there are a few things that seem to help. First, I force myself to talk about it. I discuss among friends and in safe spaces. This allows me the chance for self-discovery and to explore what under- lies my sense of longing and destitution. It has also allowed other artist-friends to open up about similar sentiments and acknowledge the lack of discussion around mental health challenges among artists. Second, I force myself to create. I make a conscious effort to get back to creating, even when my legs feel like lead, even as I flail around on the floor, and
56
in dance FALL 2022 56
FALL 2022 in dance 57
In Dance | May 2014 | dancersgroup.org
unify strengthen amplify unify strengthen amplify
44 Gough Street, Suite 201 San Francisco, CA 94103 www.dancersgroup.org
Made with FlippingBook - Online Brochure Maker