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doing even that much as I started meeting more clients at their homes. Leaving my heels on the stoop was risky, and more than once, they got eaten up by the family dog. After a while, I realized I couldn’t keep losing good pairs of shoes that way. The final straw came when David and I went out to dinner at Aloha Tower. I was wearing heels, and the ground was uneven. I twisted my ankle, fell, and my knee popped out of place. It took me about eight months to fully recover, during which time I saw an orthopedic doctor. She told me that heels look great when you’re young but explained the havoc it wreaks on your spine, joints, hips, and knees. Humans weren’t designed to walk like that, and I was actually hurting my health.
So, I finally acclimated to Hawaiian culture and got my first pair of slippers (called flip-flops on the mainland). I’ll wear short heels for a special occasion, but it’s definitely not the norm. And while I still enjoy window shopping, I find even boots with a wide heel a struggle to walk in these days. Over time, I’ve learned to accept being less tall and embrace my comfort and health. I still find cute shoes, but these days, they’re flats.
–Irma Bennett
REFRAMING YOUR LIFE WITH OPTIMISM A GLASS HALF-FULL
We all tell ourselves stories about our own lives — even if we don’t think of them that way. They’re howwe gain our sense of self and decide if we’re lucky or unlucky, smart or dumb, successes or failures. These stories shape how we see the world and determine what we expect from ourselves and others. And which stories we decide to tell ourselves indicates our optimism or pessimism. Though most of us have a natural disposition toward seeing a glass as half-empty or half-full, science proves that optimism is the superior approach. Studies show that optimists are generally happier, healthier, and wealthier. So where does this magic come from — and if you’re a pessimist, how can you harvest it for yourself? Winston Churchill famously said, “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” These lines of thinking explain why optimists tend to find more success. An optimist who believes they are worthy and able to overcome obstacles — and who is sure it will all turn out okay in the end — is more likely to try new things and persevere in the face of setbacks than a pessimist who assumes the worst outcome.
We can all reframe our lives — even if it’s not easy at first. Start by identifying the negative stories you tell yourself, like “bad things always happen to me” or “I can’t do anything right.” Then, assess whether it’s true. Chances are, it’s not. Consider what a more accurate story would be, and start replacing the old one in your mind. Further, if optimists see the opportunities in difficulties, start looking for opportunities yourself when encountering a new challenge. Even more importantly, stop thinking of your unsuccessful attempts in any endeavor as a failure. You can focus on what you didn’t achieve, or you can focus on what you’ve learned. Using the latter tactic is more likely to make you try again and eventually succeed. If you’re a natural pessimist, the glass may always look half-empty to you. But you can learn to rethink your assumptions, try something new, and challenge yourself every day. Simply reminding yourself of another way of thinking is a great place to start. Once you’ve begun reframing your life, you may wonder how you ever lived any other way.
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