Page 8
Dispatches from the Highlands
$4.20 Cents
CannaTown News
ASTRONAUTS GET STUCK IN SPACE
e Highest Authority Since 2009
Cannapages is a JohnsonConcept Company Published by
Nathan Johnson Micah Johnson Isaac Johnson Sales Director Dillon Rice Production Mike G. Customer Success Molly Norton Lead Developer Mike Morris Contributors Dan Henrickson Matthew A. Erickson Cover Art Justin Redmon Logo Aaron Draplin
OTHER HEADLINES Hair Club for Men in hot water for dangerous initiation rituals "New pledges went through harrowing 'Baldrocopy'" pg 150 Decapitated Lambshead Inc tied to listeria outbreak pg 157 How to clean the whole house in 3 minutes or less pg 166 Oasis to headline bus stop restroom pg 171 **Brought to you by Water-Trash Illuminatta** “Aquatic Circus in the Annex Parking Lot” Already known for their snafus, it's been a rough week for CASA, Cannatown Air and Space Association, since two astronauts became stuck in space. But for Barry Cassidy and Dena Willems, veterans of the space age, this is just another saga for the history books. e two had traveled recently to the International Space Hostel (ISH) on a Boing two-person shuttle called the Starwiper. Despite a recent rash of issues from the company, Boing CEO Brianna White had made it a point to arrive at the launch and provide a personal guarantee that the shuttle walls would not fall o . eir time on ISH was to last just a week -- long enough to roll a couple J’s, watch some icks and just kinda kick it. But the wi is reportedly not great and the station is equipped with less than 100 DVDs. When the pair de- cided to leave early to get pizza at Paizano’s, they found another bummer: Starwiper had broken in half. Now the two could be stuck for months with nothing but microwave Ramen and the remaining 12 discs of Are you being Served ? "We’re working on an app that they can use to hail a driver like Uber,” said White at a CASA press conference. She also assured the astronauts are not in any immediate harm. “But we’re trying to convince Mr. Cassidy not to lose his mind and open the emergency hatch, because he can't take Mrs. Slocombe’s voice another night.”
Find all our great coupons at DEALS.CANNAPAGES.COM 1-800-699-8169 info@cannapages.com Editorial | editors@cannapages.com Sales | sales@cannapages.com
Greater Denver/Boulder cannapag.es/den Southern Colorado cannapag.es/cos
Copyright 2024 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publica- tion may be reproduced or reprinted without expressed written consent of the publishers. Every attempt has been made to ensure the accuracy of these listings and their inclusion. Cannapages does not accept responsibility or liability for any omissions or errors.
Made with FlippingBook Learn more on our blog